So depressed putting food in my mouth makes me sick

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by Grandsouls, Feb 5, 2020.

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  1. #1 Grandsouls, Feb 5, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2020
    Hello people.
    I guess I’m making this post as “last” resort or reach for help.
    I recently had a mental break down bout 6 months ago life got to heavy then just (3 months ago) broke up with my ex, because of my illness. Moved to a small town in a small house by my lonely and don’t know anyone anymore hit rock bottom and just living everyday trying to convince myself not to lay down on the train tracks.
    If any of you been there how’d you get through. I getting counselling weekly I tried meds they made me wanna cut my throat.
    I can’t barely eat any more sight or smell of food makes me sick to the stomach. My body literally shutting down.

    Please no dumb comments on “ smoke a blunt etc “ just actual advice.
  2. How old are you. Occupation?
    What was your illness to begin with?

    Moving into a completely new ares ALWAYS sucks, so I guess take some kind of solace in the fact that won't have been fun for anyone.
    Though a lot of people when they're in this situation become a bit reclusive "It'll never be like it was, I won't meet anyone, work anywhere, have a group of friends/contacts" etc, all stuff that pops up.
    Thing is, it's true to a won't be the same, but it cam become a better type of different. 3 months is still somewhat early days.

    You'll become a complete introvert if you allow yourself to - and people can actually self inflict agoraphobia through habit make an effort.

    Can you get a small dog? Physical activities like walking your dog will help, as will the companionship you get from the animal. Take it to a dog park. Meet some people. It'll also help you explore your new local are and find some cool things/places you might not have known about otherwise.
    The dog will give you someone to hang with, someplace to go, new places to discover, and a sense of being a carer and keeping something alive and happy other than yourself is a very understated, but very true thing.
    Who knows. Chicks like dogs too.

    So what do you attribute your loss of appetite to?

    You getting enough sleep?

    Do it like this...what things are wrong. Write out your top 10.
    Organise it "least" to "most" problematic, and start at the beginning. Everything is long as it's not everything at once. Start easy.

    There ya go. That's me done with the advice for now.

    Keep us updated.
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  3. I’m 26
    I have adhd ( lease of my worries ) depression obviously, doctor and psychologist believe I’m bi polar type 2. And been suffering from bad panic attacks for last 9 months now to the point of blacking out

    It’s not actually a new place it’s back to the town I grew up in small tiny town.

    Doctor is not allowing me work right now says I’m to unstable which not really arguing with. Before hand I worked for bout 7 years as a cook and year and half as painter / dry waller.

    I have a dog, I walk her bout 3 hours a day. She’s honestly only thing keeping me from ending it, reason to get up feed walk she depends on me etc.
    Trying to meet people with her but people in this tiny Christian community don’t take kindly to her breed.

    Lack of appetite I assume is due to stress and depression on paper I’m in “ perfect health “ heart rate of a athlete blood pressure great, heart scans come out good blood work perfect.

    No my sleep is SHIT Iv been on sleeping pills natural to strong chemical drugs.

    Most problematic is my head it eats at me I hate being alone when I’m alone I’m done cleaning house working out jogging walking dog etc nothing left to distract me I’m complete chaos and I start spiralling down.
    I go through periods where I don’t sleep for 48-60 hrs straight. I getting help but I’m also completely on my own now 1 hr with someone who’s getting paid to be there with you with another hour with someone who try’s to figure out your problems once a week isn’t helping much Iv tried meeting and knowing people in town to be honest it’s tiny though. Not even library. You might ask why I’m here then, it was only place I could afford / where connections led me.

    Anyway yup
  4. What did they give you as far as meds goes? You said you didn't like them. When you say doctor are you speaking about a gp/ family dr.? Also a psychologist is not a doctor. You need to find a good psychiatrist. It took me about 3 years to find a good one. Dont give up, or settle.

    Definitely do not harm yourself, ok?

    You can private message me or whatever, pop by the thread.

    Im ready to fall over and collapse, I've been awake for about 2.5 days. I'll be back tomorrow. Peace!

    Im rapid cycling bipolar, ocd, adhd.

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Grasscity Forum mobile app
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. There are some great youtube videos that can expand your mind when you feel you have no more options... Have you dabbled in consciousness expansion or self realization? That is what i'm into and if you check the GC forum topic under spirituality or philosophy there are video links but you can search as well on Y.T. By now you likely don't use much THC if at all if you are having panic attacks... They can AMPLIFY whatever is going on in your mind/body to make it seem 10 times worse than it is...

    BTW, you are NOT your MIND or BODY but AWARENESS (the witness) of both as they are objects being temporary.. Also suicide won't stop your mind or escape from yourself, all it will do is stop the current drama while leaving your with the realization that you need to pick up where you left off eventually...

    Life doesn't begin when we take on a body or end when we let it go... Sure would simplify things if it did... We don't even think our own thoughts, they are just like clouds passing through... don't latch on to them... if we were the actual thinker we could tell each other what our next thought was going to be but we can't ... They just float through consciousness and as awareness we witness them... do not identify with thoughts, they will let you down and freak you out if you believe them... not only that, create some freaky emotions along with it....
    All the best!
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  6. Call a crisis hot line , a church a mental hospital call social services . call a relative .
    There is help ..if you want it .. but at the same time there are people who are asking for help that will except it .
    The question is will you ..
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. I was in a similar state for most of my adult life mate. Got sectioned for trying to kill myself, drug addict etc. Then got clean and lost a child and ended up worse than before.
    Big thing that turned it round for me was a few months off work then a change in job. always had high stress jobs that involved being nice to people. Fuck that.
    now I destroy buildings with an entirely male workforce so can shout and swear all I want if I have to. Take my stress out by swingin a sledge hammer. physical graft definately saved my life.
    now I’m on much better money, my life is a lot easier and I’m paid from the neck a gaffer to do the stressful shit and smile at people :)
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  8. The way I got myself out of that place mentally was by studying Terence McKenna who taught me that by removing my emotional stake in life I could change my perception of life. As weird as it sounds... you have to accept that your situation is miserable to feel miserable. You can think your way out of this dark place and your body will follow suit.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  9. Very true. I’ve dicected and analysed every part of my strange little brain. Understanding and acceptance must take place in order to progress.
  10. No, you misunderstand me. I'm saying that by NOT accepting depression you can actually feel happy. The problem is that some things that cause depression are out of our control. You can do every thing right in a relationship and still end up divorced because she felt like she needed something new. You can do every thing right in life and get hit by a drunk driver. How do you understand that and not get depressed about the futile nature of success?

    You refuse the idea of success. Success is not making it through to the end of life unscathed but rather it can be the hurt of living. Success can be living a life that has caused you so much pain that you went into depression just to cope with it all. Not everyone can say they give a shit about life enough to lose their appetite dealing with tragedy.
  11. @Grandsouls I'm very sorry to hear about what you're going through, but unfortunately we are not able nor equipped to deal with any situation where suicide is even mentioned as a possibility. While I feel for you, as a moderator of this site I have to offer you information on getting help and then shut this thread down. We can't, shouldn't and don't accept any liability for your actions. We can link you to a site where you can get help, though.

    Talk To Someone Now
    You will find this number: 1-800-273-8255
    You can speak to someone. The site also offers an option for chat.

    There is also a crisis text line: Home
    Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States, anytime, about any type of crisis.
    A live, trained Crisis Counselor receives the text and responds, all from our secure online platform.The volunteer Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool moment.

    Here is a link for several crisis lines: Crisis Lines - Now Matters Now

    Blades, please report threads like this immediately before you engage in any kind of conversation. Thanks.

    Good luck @Grandsouls.
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