so..chances are i wont be here tomorrow

or maybe the next day, because tonight i have to stay up all night for a sleep deprived e.e.g. tomorrow morning. the suckiest part is that waffle {one of the kitten twins} decided that i wasnt allowed to sleep last night, so i didnt get to have a good rest, today was a busy day also..so its not like i was able to veg out. at least tomorrow after the appointment mom is taking me and boo to her house so that i can sleep and not worry about getting woken up by or for him.
hopefully this time, if they find something :which they most likely will, just like last time in 03: ill at least be put on the rite meds.
now for WHY i need to have :yet another: e.e.g.
when i was 15, i started to have seizures, i was also so anti-depressants and migraine meds at the time. after having to keep switch my meds and never allowing my body to fully adjust my neurologist and i decided that it would be best if i was taken off ALL meds to find a more holistic approach :skull cap herbs: since my seizures were not often enough for any of us to worry.
well...i had thought that i hadnt had one since i was almost 17...my dr thinks other wise, as some of you know, i suffer from the "faints", i "faint" once every - every other month...well..the effects of this are pointing more toward seizures than toward fainting :fun fun!:
and in march i get to see about seeing a psych for my g.a.d. (generalized anxiety disorder) and possibly get put on meds for that as well :im hoping for xanax since that seems to work best: we are waiting until march to see if ill need meds for the seizures or not and give my body a chance to get used to them, instead of putting me on several different ones at once again.

i may never be able to drive, and i dont qualify for a seizure dog :tho i think that would be pretty neat:

my biggest fear is not catching the signs in time and "fainting" while carrying the baby either up or down the stairs...so im really hoping that something gets found out and its something we can "fix"

wish me luck gc!! ill be on here prolly several times throughout the night trying to stay awake...

 

oh i know, not my first, or even fifth for that matter!
when i was supposed to be doing normal 16 year old stuff, e.e.g's were routine

 

well..its been quite some time, im 23 now...so it really hasnt been routine any more, but i remember it clearly enough.
the reason i was put through it soo many times as a teenager was because they couldnt find anything the first few times, and then they wanted to make sure that their findings were conclusive repeatedly after they figured out what they thought was causing them...

dont qualify for a seizure dog, i dont have them often enough....you need to have them multiple times a month to qualify...
im planning on playing a lot of bingo tonight

 

smoking will just make me more tired...dont need help relaxing man! lol
so im being sober by choice tonight

 

just over two hours left until mom comes to get me and boo, then my apt is at 730, tests for an hour or two :i nvr remember how long they run: , then off to moms house for some sleep!

at least for the most part ive been able to entertain myself this time, last time all there was to do was watch movies, and im sure anyone on here knows that if you are beyond tired, just sitting there watching movies or tv will more than likely make it a million times harder to fall asleep!

 

got my results today, and they came back clean, so thats good AND not so good...good because that means that i dont have any obvious neurological issues...not so good, because that means that im still a medical mystery...
the next step is to get put on meds for my g.a.d. and see if that helps, this was suggested by my neurologist.
im not minding it all too much though, because if most or all of my medical problems can be traced back to my g.a.d. then ill only need one medication!

 

i am really just hoping that it is my g.a.d. and that ill only need the one medication for that. possibly one for my migraines as well, but chances are that they are alos tied into it as well, so if the g.a.d. medication doesnt help to clear those up then im hoping that its not a daily medication and only one that ill have to take when i need it instead of daily. the less meds i need the better imo.
for those of you that dont know that g.a.d. is, basically its when my brain doesnt know how to handle common stress and work it out mentally, so my body decided to take it onto itself. some symptoms of g.a.d. are generalized body pain with no known cause :like if your arm hurts and you didnt hit it or strain it in any way...it just hurts:, nausea, vomiting...and all for no obvious reason. other more problematic ones are fainting, body tremors and migraines. the latter few are more problematic because they are usually a sign of a neurological problem and should be checked out by a doctor asap to rule out any obvious issues.
my doctors and i also decided to check the neurological end of all this first because a lot of the meds that have to deal with neurology dont end up working well with other medications. so by ruling out any obvious problems we can move on to the next.
chances are ill be perscribed k-pins or xanex. ill be seeing my dr in march to talk about all this, and since my neurologist feels that this is very likely tied into my g.a.d. it should go through smoothly.

also, mj doesnt help me with this problem, so that kinda sucks, or it woulda been soooo much easier to fix! lol

 

thanks for all the well wishes everybody!