.....have me really stressed out. I just want some feedback because perhaps I am overanalyzing or overreacting. The last several months my 18 year old son has been smoking more, working less and I see no steps towards him improving his future. The tentative plan for him to move to my bf's house about an hour away and attend a good community college and work part time is in limbo. This was my bf's suggestion and my son was excited about it. He claims he wants to move out of this town yet he has taken NO steps to plan for it. He claims he is "taking a break" through summer and will be moving at that point but these things require some preparation (i.e. transferring jobs or applying for a new one, planning to take the assessment tests for college). He's done none of these things. What he HAS done is cut his hours way back because he hates his job. He is only staying on the schedule there because he is considering transferring stores when he "moves", but doesn't really even want to do that. He kinda just wants to work elsewhere. He hasn't applied anywhere though and a job is not going to fall into his lap. He doesn't HAVE to go to school. I am not one of those parents who will try to force him. This plan to move would lead to some really good opportunities and I know he is aware of this, but if he wants to stay in town and get a full time job elsewhere, fine. Do something about it then. He has done nothing. What he HAS done is start smoking regularly. He would argue this point because he doesn't realize what I know, but he does smoke/dab just about every day, if not every day. He does it here at the house - I have walked in on him and also I've seen him on the webcam in the front room which HE knows all about. Pot is just not my thing and so he knows I don't want it here. I'm not going to go psycho on him or anything for having it, but it's a respect thing. It's my house - I pay the bills, I really just don't want it here. He knows this but he has it here anyway and just tries to be sneaky about it. Perhaps the fact that I CAN see more of what he does by means of my webcam is just hurting ME in the long run. Maybe as parents we aren't really supposed to be privy to this stuff. My parents sure weren't but then again technology has allowed this for us. The stupid thing is, he knows about the camera but assumes I never look at it I guess. When I see things I really don't bring them up to him because I know he would just then be even sneakier. It's hard for me to watch all this because it just feels shitty and unbalanced. I get up and go to work every day while he barely works, sleeps in, smokes pot, justifies his "break" from work, and gripes about what little I ask him to do around the house. I don't give him money, so that isn't an issue, but I do give him a roof over his head, provide food and pay all the house bills. He seems very unappreciative. I know this is partly his age (even though not EVERY kid acts this way) but half of me just wants to tell him to move out, like start figuring out where he's going and quick. Maybe with his dad who is deep into the marijuana industry and a huge pot-smoker himself. He is much more aligned with his father and his lifestyle these days than with mine. I probably wouldn't feel so strongly if I saw some action on his part, if I knew this behavior was truly short-lived, but at the moment it's just words coming out of his mouth. I feel like I'm being walked over in some ways, and I feel like he thinks I'm an idiot or something. Maybe this isn't a pot issue (addiction? lack of motivation due to too much use?), although sometimes it seems like it is. Perhaps it's a laziness issue or maybe it's just typical teen behavior. Maybe it's anxiety about the future. I'm just growing really tired of it and am curious if any of you guys have been in a boat similar to mine, and if so... what did you do?