Hey all, so I posted a few weeks ago about my fiance not wanting me to smoke. Basically she told me she would leave me if I smoked weed, I tried reasoning with her and coming to a compromise but she flat out says no every time and threatens to leave me. She says she doesnt like the smell and she thinks my job will do a random and fire me (they removed cannabis from the pallet of testing last year) so I am allowed to smoke... I have a good job, pay 80% of the bills, do the majority of the cooking, cleaning and house/car repairs. I have sleep apnea and anxiety issues, my cpap machine helps a little but for the most part I always felt like garbage no matter how much sleep I got. If I slept more than 6 hours I woke up with a pounding head ache. As a result I took 6 ibuprofens every morning for the past 6 months or so. It's been 2 weeks since I've been smoking behind her back, and Its honestly been a huge change. I get out of work at 10 p.m, she goes to bed and I stay up for hours, taking a few drags off my thc vape, and relax every day after work then go to bed and get the best sleep I've had in over 2 years. I wake up when she leaves for work and take a drag off my vape and make a good breakfast every day and I dont wake up with a pounding head ache anymore, I haven't taken pain pills one time in 2 weeks!! I go to work refreshed and can focus better, have more energy, and I'm not miserable every day like I used to be due to sleep deprivation and anxiety. Am I wrong for doing it behind her back? To be honest, their was no convincing her to let me smoke without a screaming match. And if she ever found out and wont be able to compromise with me then her one sided attitude will never make anything work anyways.. besides, my life personally has been much much better since I started. I just know that when she catches me or I tell her I smoke, that I can bring forth the evidence, and show her that i feel better all the time. And it hasn't effected her negatively whatsoever. But her un-willingness to compromise will most likely lead to the end of the relationship. Sorry for the long post, what are your thoughts?
Sounds like you are doing and paying for everything so fuck it and smoke. She leaves then find a chick who smokes.
Whether or not it's "wrong" only you can answer......and your answer depends on where your morals and values lie.........my .02
Do what makes ya happy if ya get caught explain why ur doin it and how it helps ya if she bounce it sound like it’s her loss.
funny... I thought relationships worked both ways. Ultimatums are bad, m'kay... and btw, I've had many gfs... if any of them would a said that... lmao. that's funny. if she aint the 100% gf, wtf r u doing?
She gave you an ultimatum. Pick her or the weed. Think long and hard about it and come to your conclusion. Trying to have both won't end well...
Ethically speaking, yes, it is wrong to smoke behind her back... except that, ethically speaking, she has no right to forbid you medicine that alleviates your conditions and allows you to have a more productive, happier life. The end of your post really hits the heart of the problem. When either party in a relationship becomes didactic and intractable the relationship basically grinds to a halt until that is resolved or the relationship dissolves. I mean, when people are like, ''my way or the highway'' and they lay down ultimatums, it's an issue that will only be resolved by breaking up or one of you changing position. (This is true in the workplace too, btw. When you say, ''things must be like this or I quit!'' the general response is, "Okay. Bye!") It's a type of blackmail and is best dealt with by agreeing. Like when she says, "Either quit using weed or the wedding is off," Respond with something like, "I agree. It's off. Relationships can't be based on blackmail. When you decide you want to discuss it and explore how we can resolve this, I'm ready to listen."
Here in OZ there are no more 2ct coins, we have to round off to either 0 cent's or 5 cent's. So your 2 ct's worth of information would round down to 0 being zip, zero, zilch worth of information... My 5ct's worth...
We don't have two cent coins but we'll spend well over a cent to make a penny. Doesn't make any sense...
Indeed. Our 5ct coin cost's 7ct's to make, go figure... These days you cannot make a 5-cent coin for 5 cents. While the cost of producing a 5c piece varies with fluctuating metal costs, "it costs approximately 7 cents to product the 5 cent coin," Ross MacDiarmid, head of the Commonwealth's Canberra coin factory, said.
Man, i was seeing a chick who wss anti weed. Ended it quick smart and got on with my life. Lifes guuud.
Thank goodness you haven’t said I Do yet Man up willya?? Tell her how TF it is - at that point it’s her call and her choice. What’s next? You aren’t out cheating or doing hard drugs. Live your life happily or regret it later. At the end of the day it’s not her call - it’s YOURS dude. Man up. J
As long as you're ok with her lying and doing things behind your back it's all good. Maybe she has a little kinky fetish she wants to pound out secretly with the next door neighbor when you're away without you knowing. See... lying could work out for both of you.
After reading your story it seems to me this woman is not the one for you. You guys are not married and she allready refuses to compromise on this issue, this tells me in the future you will have the same problems with other things you would like to do. At the end of the day you are an adult she is not your mother so as she has no right to tell you what you can or can not do. This is just the beginning of someone trying to control you, so what happens when you like popcorn and she says she dont like the smell of it. No more fing popcorn for you buddy. Lol
Dont change yourself for other people. If you want to smoke as it makes your life better and she wont compromise leave her for a more considerate and less controlling woman. If she's like this over weed she'll probably be like it for other and more petty things.
Dont sound like much of a relationahip if you're hiding shit relationships are based on honesty and sharing your life together and everything your life consists of and if you have a partner that dont accept an aspect of your life then whats the point? But at the end of the day it comes down to priorities and where she and the weed both land on that list and its your life do what makes you happy man lifes too short
You know guys, I should actually intervene here. I know an older man who is about 66 years old. He has been married with his wife for a very very long time. He comes over and hits me up a few times in a week; I don't mind, I see he has the shakes... so I spot him each time over the course of several years (ik, a friend with weed is a friend indeed). He says to me "just don't ever let my wife know"... and I'm like wtf? He continues this deception until this day. To be completely honest though, he used to be a severe drug addict (not weed) and now he just smokes gaanj. His wife helped him recover many years ago, so I can understand... kinda.