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Smacking your children?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by MaryJaneExpress, Aug 10, 2011.

  1. As a guy who was raised on being smacked when I fucked up as a kid

    And now as a guy watching two kids get raised on "stern talkings"

    The shit just doesn't work on some kids. Sending them to their room? "Fuck it, i'll just play video games"

    Time out is definitely not a consequence of action.

    From an early on, they really need to learn real consequence and not just arbitrary material shit. Something to actually think about. Is smacking necessarily the answer? No, but seriously - some kids aren't going to learn without pain involved.

    They're resilient anyway. As long as you aren't actually injuring the kid or leaving marks, there's no real harm done except some pride.
     

  2. If your kid gets to say "fuck it, I'll just play video games" when you send him/her to their room, that's your own fault. :p

    I'm not talking about pre-teens here who can go in their room and browse the internet and play xBox. I'm talking about kids.

    If pain is the punishment from an early age, then of course, that's what they're going to learn from. But you don't have to raise them that way. :confused_2:
     
  3. This is how I smack my kids.

    --

    If I observe that lately the kids have been fighting over toys way too often, I look out for an incident, where they will fight.

    And when they start to fight and I catch them in the act, I take out my 'bamboo stick' and execute my scentence.

    I rarely hit them over ONE single event, but I hit them over what they've been doing wrong over and over again for the past few days, or weeks.
     
  4. Yes, I'm talking about children 4-8.

    These two girls are emotionally spoiled beyond belief. When something doesn't go their way, they ignore it or cry until someone gives up and lets them have their way.

    No one spanks them or disciplines them in any way. They are defiant to the end and receive no punishment from it as a result.

    The one in school also causes issues with other children because she's so selfish and undisciplined.

    I don't see how you can suggest that smacking isn't a viable alternative even though all others have been exhausted.
     
  5. Smacking isn't a viable alternative eventhough all other methods have been exhausted, IF THE PROBLEM LIES NOT WITH THE KID, BUT WITH THE PARENTS.
     
  6. Yeah, the problem lies with the parents because they're not willing to discipline their kid because modern PC society has instilled this "never hit your kids" attitude where you're looked at as a violent person for doing so.

    This little girl becomes fucking violent if she doesn't get her way. She has struck and bit her parents.

    A little reciprocation might make her think twice about being so selfish.
     
  7. #27 GGrass, Aug 10, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2011
    Often times, parents of little kids are little kids themselves.

    I know coz I am one myself. :D

    Sometimes parents don't even know what they're doing...

    --

    Selfish and violent girls, huh... The problems that appear in kids, are very complex. It's combination of how the kids were raised, and how the couple (mom and dad) are doing, along with a lot of other factores.

    For example, if the relationship between mom and dad are violent, then the kids will turn out... violent.

    Selfish... well, one way to cure selfish kids... is by 'being fair'.
     


  8. Would it surprise you if I said that obviously those kids weren't raised right if they're that selfish and spoiled? :p

    Sure, you raise your kid in such a way that (s)he becomes a back-talking, selfish monster, then you may have to execute some physical punishment.

    That's why you gotta do it right from the start, so it never has to get to that point. ;)
     
  9. #29 PirateFarmer, Aug 10, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2011
    I was beaten a lot as a kid. Definitely toughened me up, which helps in a fight. But it's no way to treat a child. Spanking? Perhaps. If done right, and as a last resort. Maybe. I was taught by a very wise woman (my grandmother) that anytime you resort to violence - and spanking IS a form of controlled violence, then you've given up on any other options working at that time. However, sometimes - in many case I see nowadays - a 'stern talking to' doesn't work...not because the kid "needs" a spanking, but because way before the incident occurred, the parents quit being a parent and tried to be a friend to their children. I'm not my children's friend. I am their mentor, their protector, their guardian, their wise elder, their provider of food, clothing and shelter...and discipline. But disciplining a child starts way before they're ever big/old enough to "need" a spanking. Spanking isn't supposed to be a punishment, but a way to get their attention. Example: both my daughters when in the 'terrible twos' have thrown temper tantrums...laying on the floor in a store and screaming, etc. One good, totally unexpected swat on the ass, set them back down and walk away. No advance warning or threat before or after. I don't look back, I just say "I don't allow that" and walk away. They're not leaving the store without me. Sooner or later, they come looking for me...and I ignore them until I see that they are wanting to rejoin the family. The oldest took the most lessons - 5 total. They WANT to be part of the family...it's their security and survival. I NEVER threaten to abandon them...I just 'banish' within the family. No one talks to/with them, plays with them, or even acknowledges them, until/unless they show they want to rejoin...which takes following the rules. This is what I developed in response to some pretty severe beatings I took as a child. Maybe not better than the 'normal' way of doing things, but it seems to have worked. And I agree = NEVER strike a child in anger...if you can't control your anger, how the fuck can you expect to control a child?
     
  10. Sounds like you know how to spank your kids.
     
  11. When i was a kid id love it when my parents told me to go to my room or took away one of my toys...id just get another toy and play with it...in my room lol. But the second my dad took out his belt and whipped my ass i got the message loud nd clear and i made sure i wasnt making the same mistake twice. Some kids are punkasses and dont give a fuck when there parents are giving them "stern talks"and giving them "time out"....nd like Grand Puba said "Punks jump up to get beat down"
     
  12. And while I agree the possibility of them not being raised right can push a kid into that mindset

    I still argue that some kids are still capable of behaving in a way that warrants physical punishment even within a perfect environment.
     
  13. when i speak of smacking my kids in the face, i'm thinking 14-16 wannabe badass ages.
     
  14. there's certainly different ways & a difference between restraining a mentally disturbed child (or bad ass kid) & disciplining a child that's capable of understanding.
    If one wouldn't hit an adult that one is attempting to communicate with............. Then why would you hit a child.
    If it reaches the point that violence is needed to get through then maybe one needs to back up a little to figure out why that is?
    Most likely somewhere along the line........something got out of hand, regardless.

    So Does the communication come before or after the physical aspects?
     
  15. I was never spanked much as a kid, but when I have kids I'll probably spank them as needed.

    Now I don't mind being spanked ;).
     

  16. no you smoke marijuana :eek:
     
  17. Just don't do this around me...I don't want to catch another felony...but will.
     
  18. yes, i am smacking, spanking, and disciplining my children.
     
  19. "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24)

    "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

    I received the belt, bamboo, and a few other punishments as a child and I'm a staunch supporter of their use. Rice was the worst.
     
  20. I mean smacking I guess as a parental gesture to let them know they're disobeying or just plain out being a dumbASS, is fine..

    But on a level that it becomes an abusive thing then absolutely not
     

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