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Single mother

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by steelsmoking, Jan 2, 2013.

  1. Hey blades heres the situation, I have basically no experience with relationships two girlfriends in highschool but I wouldn't really call those relationships. So anyway I started talking to this girl like two or three weeks ago and we went on a date to the movies last Friday and saw Django unchained. It was my first date ever but I think it went ok. She has a son so if we go out again she has to get her mom or someone to watch him. I want to see her again but If we can only do things when someone else watches her son it will definetly limit that. I don't want her to feel like she has to ditch her kid to see me. With that said do you think it would be appropriate for me to ask her this soon if she wants to do something with me, her, and her son?
  2. not a bad idea and it would make her feel a little more comfortable BUT i would hold off on that for at least a few more dates. Don't rush to meet the kid, and chances are she'll mention something to you. If this girl is smart, she won't just bring any guy to meet her son. I don't want to make it sound like you're some random guy, but this is what i mean. If you guys get serious and you both feel like its a relationship that might go somewhere, meeting her kid will happen. If she wants to bring you home and meet him 2nd or 3rd date, that's a little odd. I wouldn't introduce my son to any woman unless we were dating for a while. And i'd be fucking mad as shit if my ex decided to introduce my son to some guy she's gone out with 2 or 3 times. IDK that's just my opinion on the matter, but do what you feel is right homie. If you truly don't feel uncomfortable meeting her son this early, then tell her and see where it goes. Mention it like you were taking about. Basically hey if you want to bring your son along we can go to lunch together and take him to the park or something.
  3. dont rush into spending time with the kid to its far to easy to get attached and then it hurts all 3 involved and the child never should be hurt from situations like these but its also hard to avoid other blades have advised me on this

    and they have also seen my other threads with the FWB i had a few months back
  4. I agree with the above poster.

    You're thinking the right way but you may just want to hold off a little longer before. It might be appropriate to wait until she invites you to spend time with her son
  5. My 'dad' always said he fell in love with me before he loved my mom. It can turn out good, but as they said, I might wait a little bit
  6. Thanks you guys, she talks about him alot so it has been on my mind. I think you guys are right I'll wait alteast another few dates before I mention something to her.
  7. Think of the child long term. They take it personal when you disappear. Realize what you're getting into. From what you've written, and if I was in your shoes I'd say you're walking down a road that you might not be prepared for.
  8. Wait a little

    Work on her
    Then son

    Could be weird for kid
  9. Thanks blades, I think I'm going to try to take this thing slow, If this shit gets serious this can have a lot of implications on this kid that I probably had not thought of before. I appreciate all of the advise. I got some serious thinking to do.
  10. thats considerate of u. dont think so, but shell probs wait to introduce u to the kid...

  11. I noticed you're from the community I live. Props to you for not making the local problem worse. So many single women here and nobody thinks of the kids. I respect your consideration. I really do.

    Take care.
  12. Yeah don't meet the son too soon. I made that mistake once and the kid started calling me "dada"

    She will bring it up, then you can do something like going to the zoo, ice skating, ice cream, pin the tail on the son, practice martial arts on the son, looking into the cannibalism lifestyle.

    Omega369 :wave:

  13. Thanks man, she's a really cool girl and has her head on straight. I just want to do what's right by everybody involved. Luckily for me my stepdad has been there for me since I was 2 so I didnt have to deal with different dudes coming and going out of my life.

  14. Good for you brother. The only way to break the cycle is to change the variables, you seem considerate enough to break the pattern.

    Let me give you a successful reference if I could....

    My grandmother has been married to her husband for 41 years. He is not the father of her 5 children, but he stepped in and filled the role. He's the nicest dude anyone could ever know, he's always smilin and positive and thoughtful and otherwise quiet.

    She's the opposite, loud, dramatic, etc. they seem to even each other out perfectly. We live in a society where people have made it normal to hit It and quit it and since everything is socially acceptable now, no matter how odd or twisted, it's considered normal. Then everyone wonders why society is so jacked up when it supposedly didn't use to be (it did lol).

    Point is, to see the change you have to be the change. Children need love, stability, and support, ie, they want to know somewhere has their back no matter what. I treat my kids like what they are, intelligent, smaller people, Shelterering them from only what they are too young to comprehend.

    This girl sounds nice and so do you. I know I'm jumping the gun, but there's nothing wrong with being old fashioned. Just be real and life will get out of the way. Hope this was helpful info.

    Take care.
  15. A chick with a kid either epically has her shit together or doesn't at all.

    There is the inbetween but it's just kind of an interesting subject..I cant really say much else since this is all coming from a perspective of a dude.
  16. I am a single mom who is dating and enjoying my time. I don't expect my boyfriend to be a dad to my kid.

    I really don't expect them to have any sort of relationship towards my son other than, what's up little buddy? And keep it moving.

    My sons dad is a pretty good dad and i hold him responsible for the fatherly figure.

    Once i move in with someone, then the dynamic will shift but until then, it's just too much too soon.

    Edit: unless I am really serious and I know that he's committed, then I won't stop a relationship from forming. I just don't want a guy to think that I want him to fill the role automatically.

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