Sign over a gynaecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blow-out." Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Let us pick your nose." On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push." At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet miss a car payment." Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up." In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." At the entrance to a sperm bank: "The customer always comes first" At the exit of the same bank: "Thank you for coming, please come again."