TLDR at the bottom! My husband and I have been living with my mom and stepdad for the last 4 months trying to pay down our debt and get our lives more organized. So far I feel like I have accomplished a lot of our goals within just the last 4 months and I have been feeling very upbeat lately. My problem is with my parents. Our lifestyles are completely different from theirs and it has caused a lot of tension between us. My husband and I both work with computers daily. He is a systems engineer for a small IT company and I am a freelance graphic designer. So many, many hours of our day is devoted to sitting in front of the computer. My husband is the lucky one though because he gets to go somewhere for work, I am stuck at home. This is where the lifestyle difference rears its ugly face. Part of the agreement to letting us live with my parents was that I had to find a job. I graduated in March with my Associates in Graphic Design and have been having a hell of a time trying to find a job that even relates to my field. I have spent hours searching and applying for any design type job I can find. I've applied for printing jobs, government jobs and even internships but nothing is available in my area. I had even started looking for a fast food or retail job to bring in some type of stable check. No one in my city is even hiring fast food or retail because it is so bad. While this has been really frustrating for my husband and me it has been the hardest on me. I have been able to bring in some money with website work through his company but it is still not a steady check. The work involved in these sites is enough to keep me working as if I had a full time job. NOW the problem comes into play with my parents. My stepdad is in his mid 50s and has a very traditional work ethic. You find whatever job is available and you stick with it as long as it pays the bills. I agree with this and I know I have to find a steady paycheck but the problem is that he doesn't believe me when I tell him there aren't any jobs. Now as a result of not being able to find a job but staying home to work on what work I do have has turned me into a irresponsible selfish person in my parents eyes. My stepdad only sees that I stay at home all day in my bathrobe in front of the computer. They do not understand how much work goes into making websites and no matter how much I explain it they still don't understand why I cannot design and code a gigantic school website in 3 weeks and get paid the day after. So now it is 2010, almost a year after graduating with no job and living with my parents. My stepdad is threatening to throw us out because I cannot find a job and my mom bitches about money everyday and reminds me at least once a week that I “ruined†their lives. Which that is a whole other stupid story. Pretty much she helped by letting us put a couple of things on her credit card like food and gas for work and the occasional utility so we could survive until our lease was up. Well now she has brought that back on me because they cannot buy a house because she has that credit card debt. I've been making the monthly payments for what we used but can't make much more than the minimum because everything is so tight right now. I have other bills that I am trying to catch up on but even though I am making the regular payments on the card, she gets mad if I use any extra money on other bills and not her card. Sorry for the long story, I just had to get it out of my system. I've been feeling really down and lied to lately. I was told my entire life that if I had good grades, stayed out of trouble and went to college then I would have a great job and easy life. Not so much now because of the economy. Even though I am only 21 I feel like my childhood was wasted on a stupid lie. I worked my ass off in school to get good grades and please my parents only to have it turn around and slap me in the face. I've worked my entire life trying to make everyone happy and now I get to a point where I am failing and they all turn their backs on me. Just because I cannot find a job doesn't make me a selfish irresponsible person! I cannot wait to move back into our own place. TLDR: Husband and I moved in with my parents 4 months ago because of financial issues. Lifestyle differences make it hard in a tiny 2-bedroom condo. I cannot for the life of me find a job. I do get website work but am viewed as selfish and irresponsible because I don't have a “real†job. Tired of working my ass off to make other people happy. If it weren't for marijuana I would have had several emotional breakdowns from stress.
Damn sounds like your parents are ridiculously harsh. Mine are the same way it's all money money money if you're not making money you're not making a good life for yourself. It is insane to think that parents could not support their kids in times like this and just are worried about being paid back. Hopefully you get a better job soon and can GTFOa there.
i only read that little thing at the bottom but thats horrible parents have to find a problem or worry about *everything* you do, lol. is their a friend you could live with? or maybe your husbands parents? (i wouldnt fancy it but you could) brother/sister? see if you could live there for alittle while and move out your parents- at least then you wont have them on your back all the time
Based on my own experience with a similar situation: Get out now. Find the tiniest, shittiest apartment you can. Live on dried chickpeas and lentils. Take out a loan. Anything is better than being stuck with people who belittle you 24/7. And vow never to speak to your parents again until they learn not to be such assholes.
Oh trust me, if we could move out now we would! And my husband's family is 10x worse then my family. Luckily this is only a temporary one year arrangement but the next few months are going to be difficult. I get along with my mom most of the time (she was my best friend as a kid) but when her husband gets angry it comes back to me. He comes from a family that does not believe in helping each other out. You got a job at 16, moved out at 18 and you never ask for any assistance. It is going to be hard but we have to put up with it in order to ensure our debts are in order. I realised one night after a very nice smoking session that things can only go up from here. It has inspired me to become more organized and to work towards my goals on my time and not according to what someone else thinks.