Shroomin' at the Haunted House

This occured last October, during haunted house time. It sounded like a genius idea at the time, so I went through it. I can honestly say even though I had a blast, it was not the best place to go on a trip.

The story is long, but I'm stoned and feel like writing, so bear with me. I've written it in narrative form. Smoke one and enjoy.


It was a Saturday afternoon in October of 2008. A friend of mine, Derek, had come by to chill with me that day. We burned a blunt, then went on a very enjoyable hike through woods. While engaged in our stoned conversations, I brough up the idea of buying some magic mushrooms. He, like me, thought it was a genius idea.

So, it was set. We were going to make our purchase, then enjoy ourselves at the local haunted house. This place was a major hang out at this time of year, lots of girls, and a very friendly stonter/fucked up in general environment.

We made our purchase, a 1/2 ounce of magic mushrooms, as to what particular kind, I couldn't tell you. They were supposedly very potent. Both of us had eaten them in the past, so we knew what we were getting into.

We split the sack in half, consuming all of the contaminents. It was on. We set out on our journey. An hour or so after eating them, my girlfriend at the time arrived to pick us up. She wasn't very happy with my drug of choice for the night. I simply told her, and I quote, "Shut the fuck up."

After a brief 15 minute ride in a 2/3 drug friendly Chevrolet Tahoe, we arrived at the haunted house. That night, shit was popping off. Tons of people were there, our friends, people we have yet to meet, and dozens up on dozens of girls. It was destined to be an amazing night. Instead of rushing right over to the crowd of people, Derek and I go to our friends girlfriends house. They were on the front porch smoking from a rather odd looking bong. They offered us a smoke and we're not the type to turn it down. After a half-hour of weed-smoking goodness, we were beyond high. I was on a solo trip throughout the Milky Way Galaxy. Simply put, I felt incredible.

At this time, we made our way to the crowd. Immediately, I spotted a group of our stoner buddies. We laughed and had some hilariously rediculous conversations. I soon found myself talking to a girl I had dated in high school, Lacy. I remembered that I had a girlfriend, but I ceased to give a shit, because after all, she had belittled me for shroomin'. My friend had wandered off with some other to smoke some more marijuana. I stayed behind and chilled with this girl.

I soon had to urinate. At first, I shrugged it off, but the urge began to take control of mind. All I could think about was taking a piss. I would have went sooner, but I didn't because, in all honesty, I feared the Porta-a-John. This wasn't an average john, this was a contraption invented only by the Devil himself. It smelled and it was extremely dark. Not the type of place I wanted to find myself, but Satan would. I could no longer hold it. I took off in a dead sprint to the bathroom. I busted through the door, not bothering to knock. I ripped my pants open and took the most incredible piss of my short life. After finishing, I looked down and realized that I had just took a massive piss in the floor. I spent the next couple of minutes pondering what I should do about this.

Then I heard an agressive sounding knock at the door. "Occupied motherfucker!" I shouted. I went back to mindlessly wondering what I should do about the urine in the floor. Another knock at the door. "Fuck it," I thought and made my way to the door. I opened it only to see a freaking clown staring back at me.

"FUCK!" I shouted and backed into the john wall. The clown walked towards me. I'm paralized with fear. The clown was laughing at me, seemingly getting a sadistic high from my fear. He could smell it, I knew he could. He raised his arm, as he was doing so I braced myself for the torment that was to come. He pulled it off, revealing himself to me. An exteremly stoned Derek was looking back at me. He stood there, barely able to breath he was laughing so hard. I laughed as well. "You dick." I said to him.

The fear was quickly replaced with the return of the happy mood. Together we made our way to the bleachers where our stoner friends and Lacy were seated. I sat next to her and returned to flirting, atleast thats what I think I was doing. It wasn't too long until Lacy brought up the idea of actually going INSIDE of the haunted house. I wasn't too fond of this idea, because I had never been in. She and the stoners loved the thought. She swore to protect me from the monsters inside, so I swallowed my fear. After spending an eternity in line, it was finally our turn.

Our group was soon inside. Immediately, the strobe lights began to fuck with me. The colors blended together, creating a beautiful collage of brightly colored lights. I was fascinated. No amount of fear would be able to conquer my new found love. We made our way through the haunted house. I wasn't to phased by the random monsters popping out of the shadows. I found in rather funny. Maybe it was because the strobes had occupied my mind.

We finally made our way into a completely dark room. My friends, the lights, were gone. I felt chills crawl up my spine. Suddenly, a television cut on, showing my group on the screen. "What the fuck?" I said quietly. Then the picture was gone. A chainsaw began revving up behind me. A pair of arms came from the shadows, lifing and throwing me onto a matress in the floor. A man with a block-shaped head appeared in the door way, chainsaw in hand. He raised the chainsaw while his group of goons held me to the matress. Me made his way towards me. I knew this was it, but I wasn't going down without a fight. I began to squirm in an attempt to break free fromt he oppressing hands. He didn't give. He was closer, slowing moving the roaring machine towards me. My guts tightened, my heart was in my throat, and sweat poured from my forehead.

In a last effort, using every shred of energy inside, I broke free from the men holding me. I screamed, circling the room looking for a way out. Then I spotted it. I small hole cut in the wall, just big enough for me to fit through. I dove through, landing on a metal slide. I slid down, quickily finding myself out side. I didn't stop, I continued to run. I ran to the house we had previously visited and tried to explain my ordeal to my friend. He laughed at me, obviously thinking I was joking.

After a terror filled ten minutes, I spot Derek and Lacy walking towards me. Dereks expression told me we was scared stupid. Lacy, however, couldn't stop laughing. It was then I decided I was ready to leave. I called my girl, but my call was forwarded to voicemail. So I walked to where we had parked alongside a large wooden fence. The Tahoe was gone. I tried calling once more to no avail. I was stranded in Hell. There was no way out. I began to freak, as did Derek.

After what felt like hours of freaking out, Lacy offered to give me and Derek a ride. All three of us loaded up into her single cab Silverado and were on our way. The ride I had previously enjoyed wasn't the same. The trees, the darkness, the moonlight, it all scared me. It seemed like the place to die. I turned on the radio to find the sounds of Lil Wayne. The sound of his voice didn't make me feel any better. I shuffled through CDs, looking for calming music. There was none. Still fiddling with the stereo, we arrived at a house. Only this wasn't mine, nor was it Dereks. I was then informed that it was Lacy's house.

Finally, a safe haven, somewhere without the damned beasts of Hell.

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I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Christ this thing is long. I need to stay away from computers when I'm high. I'm off to smoke another bowl. Enjoy the read guys.

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Ok, so

 

Nah, I didn't eat them all. I ate about 4g's, maybe a little more. Regardless, it was too much for the setting I was in.

I think I would've been fine if I hadn't went into the place. That's what fucked it all up. I was legitimately scared. And I have a tendency to be fucked up at all the wrong places.

 

Yeah...I think I'll save the lesser mind-fuck drugs for places like that.

 

Yeah...woke up the next morning to several missed calls, a few voicemails, and dozens of pissed off text messages.

By 2:00 that day, I didn't have a girlfriend anymore.