Cliffnotes are at the bottom, but read it if you have the time. Here's a little background.I am 18 and a senior in HS and maintain decent grades and my mom is relatively young (44 years old) and had a very strict mom who was kinda crazy... so she's not that strict. She is okay with drinking... and im allowed to have parties outside here.. she doesn't really care that i drink and im allowed to have a couple beers around the house and get shitfaced on the weekends. I think she knows i smoke cigs (she has to have smelled it.. i smoke a half pack a day and don't use axe all the time). I had a party on halloween and there was a LOT of alcohol and she came up and said hi to everyone and didn't seem to care at all that everyone was drunk as shit. She kinda joked around the next morning about having me having a hangover and someone leaving underwear in the driveway (LOL). Before the party she was like just because other people do drugs i dont want you doing them... you know better than that. I've only had one party here because i previously did not know how chill she was... since i turned 18 shes been a lot less strict. Im allowed to go out at night and spend the night wherever as long as she knows where i am. Anyways as a lot of y'all, i wish my smoking weed was not a secret and i just could be open about it. I want to just tell her that i want to tell her something, but she can not tell anyone else (when she found out i drank a few months ago she told a lot of people). Then just tell her i smoke weed because i enjoy it and it helps me relax and be less stressed (im generally a stressed/high strung person) and have for a while, but do not over do it (which is true), will never touch harder drugs (which is true for the most part... i do take friends' adderall for schoolwork and have dexxed a couple times) and it hasn't negatively effected my life at all and I am smart about doing it and don't do it where I could get in trouble with the law. I think she MAY know, but she could be completely clueless... I do not know. I'm hoping she would understand and realize that it is my choice to do it. On the other hand there is a chance she may think that im asking her because i want "help" or some bullshit which is not true at all... but i doubt she would think that. So should i tell her, or just keep it on the down low? It would be very nice being able to smoke in my bathroom at night without getting paranoid and stuff... I'm not sure if she smoked when she was younger... i think she may have but she says she didn't. She started drinking when she was 15 and i know she partied a lot. she also dated a huge stoner in college (who she told me got straight A's and didn't even study... she got like B's and C's and studied her ass off) so im hoping she realizes that all the hype about weed making you dumb is not true. I've also never gotten in any trouble with the law or anything serious with her or school... and i never really partied until the summer after my junior year. Oh and her brother (my uncle) did a shitload of drugs and got straight A's without studying but he ended up staying in college for 10 years and now has a ok job making decent money. She doesn't really care what i do, but tries to be a "good mom." Like when i spend the night out she makes me let her know where im staying by midnight where i am staying and one time when was like "i dont know yet im either staying at the party or getting a ride to someone's house" she was like "well you need to let me know, I will feel like a bad mother if you don't." So one of my concerns is she will get mad just because she doesn't want to feel like a bad mother by letting her son smoke "dope." One thing I am somewhat concerned about is getting in trouble. Yes I am 18 but she paid for my truck and pays for gas to school ( i have a hour drive because i go to private school)... yes i am very fortunate but do not consider myself spoiled. She basically told me she wants me to do good in school and that she will pay for my gas and lunch if I get good grades and do not get a job (if i got a job i would have to work after school, which in her eyes would hurt my grades). Also, my grades have slightly gone up since I started smoking, so I can tell her that to backup that it does not effect me negatively. I have also already applied to colleges, so that is out of the way, and my state is very relaxed about weed. Under 1/2 O is a 200 dollar fine and a misdemeanor. She may be not want me doing it because she might say it would follow me for the rest of my life and make it hard to get a job... idk is this true? Do ya think my first offense could get dropped? Plus, it would be awesome to be able to buy a nice bong... i haven't because i have no where to hide it. I would tell her now but im on adderall, so i don't wanna say it and end up regretting it. She might get mad, so im not sure. I just want some opinions on the subject. Cliffnotes: Mom is chill about me getting drunk, partying, sex, and might be about cigs. I dont think she knows I smoke weed and she probably knows i smoke cigs but i am not open about it. I am open about my drinking though. Her reasons weed is bad is probably: Get in trouble and it would follow me for the rest of my life she doesnt want to feel like a bad mom by letting her son smoke (she originally had a don't ask don't tell thing about alcohol.. not anymore though) My arguments: Hasn't negatively effected my life or grades I'm smart about it and do not overdo it I won't drive high, or smoke where i could get busted by the cops Her brother and bf in college smoked a lot and got straight A's without trying Get in the same trouble with law for drinking as smoking [/b]
Go for it I guess man. My mom has known I've smoked since I was 14 or 15, she was a little pissed at first, but people get over shit.
I would tell her since you are 18. However, if she does not want you smoking in her house, you should respect that.
yeah tell her but if she doesn't want you doing it under her roof then don't or just be more careful about it. my parents got a lot more pissed when they caught me then at my brother who just straight up told them
I would tell her. When parents say they didnt smoke weed they are usually lying. My friends mom used to say "we had pop and chip parties" but when he talked to his aunt she said that in high school she had to pick his mom up once a weekend because she was passed out or throwing up. His aunt also said that ogether his mom and his aunt had smoked probably 2 pounds of dope, between the 2 of them. Your mom seems pretty chill so if I were you I would let her know.
Well i just talked to her about another party next weekend and she went on about how she doesn't want me drinking beer in my room during the week any more because i need to focus on school work (even though my grades don't matter any more bc all my applications are in), and said its fine if i drink "a beer" on the weekends and if people bring beer but she doesnt want to know about it. Funny thing is she came up and knew me and everyone else was drunk and didnt care at all, but is acting like it didnt happen. Weird. I can tell she really doesnt care, she just doesn't want to seem like a bad mom because she's letting me drink. I suppose it would be a bad idea to tell her i smoke, right?
my parents caught me 2 days before my 16 birthday. i had smoked for three years. never been caught before that night. it took them a good year for me to proove that i was responsible. now i tell her and im open about it. shell ask me before im going to party if im smoking, and if i say yes, its just the whole "be smart, dont do anything stupid, if you call me from the police station, im not picking you up. a few days after my birthday, i asked her if i had told her instead of her finding out had they of been less disappointed? she said yes becasue the was the true responsibilty. go for it. sorry i wrote so much. stoned.
Alcohol is much worse of a drug then marijuana is. Just explain to her that it has not effected your life negatively and she might be cool with it
Just tell her, kid. She seems cool enough. Tell her you smoke, and you're gonna smoke because you're high strung. If she talks shit, smack her a few times. My mom smoked cannabis with me, so I never had this problem...