Even when I was married, I fell in love with her at first sight 25 years ago at a new job. I took my marriage vows seriously, and never tried to make a love connection. I lost my wife to cancer about three years ago. Since then, I've been lonely and depressed (I really was very much in love with my wife too!) But I still can't get this lady out of my mind! We've done some business together (online) and she's a good friend on FB. We've kept in touch, but I've never told her my secret. I've got some reasons for my reservations with her however: She's always been, and still IS, drop-dead gorgeous and classy...and I don't consider myself a prize in the looks department. I'm not really sure if she is in a relationship with anyone, although I DO see some handsome guys post to her with love and kisses etc. I've always been kinda shy with women, and I'm afraid I'd wreck a good friendship if she knew how I felt about her. But the best part is...she smokes weed! In fact, she was my first connection at the job I met her at! I'm really torn on this one! I asked for my sister's advice...and she told me I really shouldn't say anything to her and leave it at that. She also said it turns some women off. I'd appreciate some input on this, as it drives me crazy to think I may have a small chance with her, and failed to pursue it! BTW...I'm 60, and she's probably in her early 50s. We live far apart from each other, and have only texted and talked thru FB since we worked together. No phone calls.
we are about the same age...here's my shot at this! IMO/= your approach to his babe should be very light indeed no doubt by now you have figured out, away over this distance thing as you have enough 'life experience' to know long distance .....Don't Work your initial connection to her, should be open and frank 'How about a date ..lets have coffee ...?' tho you were friends you don't want to end up in the friendship zone ....again so make your intentions clear as an old player, I urge you ..keep your heart to yourself let this infatuation you have with this women be your secret not hers in time you may tell her, but hey later months down the track as for now keep it light and funny, and the bit about your ex should be discussed at length again later in the relationship many guys our age come around to this at some stage you are no different 1-2 communications a week is enough you don't want to wear the deal down already its just the distance thing that gets me good luck
Hey, if you never let your feelings be known, you'll never know and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering how it might have turned out. I think one of the most important parts to a relationship, and you know they have many many parts (LOL), is being able to have something in common and a real friendship. If your partner is someone who is not your friend, the relationship will be a struggle from day #1. You have to actually like each other to have a happy marriage and sadly, too many people don't seem to see or realize that these days. If you're interested in her, I say go for it. My husband of almost 30 years called me up out of the blue one night while I was working a second job playing music at a dinner club. He and I had met through a mutual friend and I had been terribly impressed by him, but all those years ago before the cell phone age and the ease of connectivity, the fact that he would go to the trouble of doing that impressed me. He was a gentleman. I was looking for a gentleman...the same kind of man my father was. I had just about decided that man didn't exist when I met the one God intended for me to spend my life with. I don't believe in coincidences. Things happen by design in my book...but that's another line of thought. But heck yea, go after her. The worst she can do is say no and even if she does, you know where you stand at that point and can move on. Don't sit around and be lonely. I doubt seriously I will ever marry a second time. The first one, though wonderful, would be impossible to replicate and I'm too old and independent at this point to dive into something like that again. But I totally understand being lonely and needing the companionship of someone else in your life. GOOD LUCK!! Hoping and praying things go the way you would like them to. TWW
Just tell her for God's sake you're 60 years old, you don't got many years left do you really got anything to lose at this point? The worst thing that can possibly happen is her saying "I'm not interested" it's not going to ruin the relationship you're overreacting. Also, if everyone took you're sisters advice there would be no relationships on this planet everyone would be single and even if some women find it to be a turn off (which makes no sense or how else would they even get into a relationship in their lifetime) how do you know she's one of them? Just do it rejection weighs ounces, regret weighs tons, you'll get over it if she says no after a day or two, grow a pair of balls ask her and get it off your mind.
Wow! Some great advice from all of you...and so soon! Thanx for taking the time to post, and I will read your replies again shortly.
Yeah man get her & tell her what's real .. at 60 you better not be scarred of tellin her how you feel .. but then again if you two are distant you may have backed yourself into the friendzone & no phone calls to? .. dont be surprised if she already has a man but then again you'll never know until you try .. i know what you mean them fine 50's are mouthwatering sexy!! im 40 & i know a fine 50 to & good lord shes fine as wine with a beautiful ass .. shes a black woman with carmel complexion & a body like a 21 year old no bs .. everytime i see'er i always say to myself damn she fine & when she walks away her ass is so hypnotizing its ridiculous you know black women are notorious for having big butts .. lol .. when she greets me she says hi baby shes sooo sexxy!! so yeah op get your fine 50 & dont mess this up ..
Go ahead and make a move .. but just remember, it is extremely dangerous to rely on other people as your sole source of happiness. Healthy relationships require both sides to be equally independent, whether it's emotionally, financially, psychologically ,etc. Neediness destroys relationships, and draws people away from you.
Thanx for all your input. I've decided that I'll continue to take it slow for now...but if there comes an opportunity, I will let her know how I feel. There are the downsides...living too far away, and I am carrying a lot of emotional baggage she may not want to deal with. There are reasons for everything in this crazy life of ours, and if it's not meant to be...well, that's OK.
LOL I have considered that too Mayfield! I'd rather keep her as a friend and a great fantasy...than be a stalker in her eyes!
Psh. Imagine the situation in reverse. Who wouldnt want to hear that beautiful truth? Having tactfully told her the truth, it will also tell her you are loyal, since you were true to your wife... Thats never a bad thing to convey. I wouldnt even tell her in hopes for furthering your relationship with her... Is your fear of losing her is suppressing the truth? Maybe she masterbates thinking of you every night? Wouldnt you like to know? Lol ⚡
So, id tell her for her sake, not for your sake. Besides, weigh the extreme outcomes. At worst you loose a casual friend, at best you have a lovely woman to share the rest of your life with. There are lots of other possibilities between those... Easily worth a shot IMO. Either way, good luck ⚡