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Should I stay friends with someone that doesnt like me smoking?

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by Nella, Jul 10, 2003.

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  1. #1 Nella, Jul 10, 2003
    I have a friend. She has helped me a lot through good times and bad times, but just recently, has decided that she can no longer help me. Our friendship is not as good as it used to be. She's going off to college soon, and I dont want her to be upset with me when she leaves. I want her to still remain my friend.
    But the whole thing that really brought up this up is that I started smoking again. Basically recreational, but that part doesnt matter to her. Its the fact that I started smoking again that has her hurt and dissapointed in me. I've been smoking up with her ex-boyfriend a lot, and I dont know if that still bothers her. But he is still my friend and I have a right to be with him if I want to.
    SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, this friend found out that I smoked up last monday with her ex, and another good friend of mine. She was extremely pissed, telling me how I was "an addict" that I always will be, and that I need to get help. I think she was also upset that I got completely trashed on saturday night, having a lot to drink. This also is a BIG "no" in her book.
    So now just yesterday, I got pretty drunk, smoked a bowl, and tried some heroin with another good friend of mine, and my friend's ex again. Then later that night, we went over to a friend of ours, and bought some more weed.
    Now, this whole account of what happened yesterday is on one of my friends journals that I smoked up with last night. I'm really scared that my friend will find out now, and dissown me as her friend forever. I really dont want to loose her friendship, but I have a feeling that I will if I continue smoking.
    So its come down to this..... give up weed and alcohol and get the "help I need" OR loose a great friend.
    I dont know what to do anymore. I just need help. anything.
     
  2. #2 adamBC, Jul 10, 2003
    hmmm.... thats a toughy there.


    lots of factors to look at. maybe you should try to make her understand that its not all bad, and there are many positive things about it. if you can get her one your side then your friendship will be even better than it is now, PLUS youll get to smoke da reefah!
     
  3. #3 Mr_Criminal, Jul 10, 2003
    "telling me how I was "an addict" that I always will be, and that I need to get help"
    Was she talking about weed? Or heroin?
    I wouldn't want to be friends with someone so ignorant about weed. Passing judgement on you and shit.. You know in her head you're a drug addict.
    But um.. I don't think I would take it as much of a loss to lose her.
     
  4. #4 Nella, Jul 11, 2003
    she was saying I was an addict to weed and alcohol.
    I really do care if I loose her friendship though. I really love her. But in her eyes, myself being "addicted" to weed and alcohol is a very bad thing.
     
  5. #5 Stylez, Jul 11, 2003
    Hm...Tough decision

    I'd say, if she were a friend she would accept you smoking weed, but then you have to think of all the damn propoganda that must be implimented into her mind by the gov and such orginizations as 'Truth'(funny name innit, when they bend the truth to their own means)

    If maybe you could explain to her how weed isnt so bad, and its not phsyicly addictive.

    Alcohol can becoem a problem though, occasional drinknig, weekends and such, is fine in my book, but not a everyday thing.

    All I can say is try to tlak to her, and explain how happy weed makes you, and if she thinks that means you have an addiction, and refuses to open her mind to what marijuana really is, then the relationship cannot fluorish if she isnt open to ideas of a trusted friend, or atleast respects her culture.
     
  6. #6 bongman 2000, Jul 11, 2003
    hmm i think the heroin part is a killer. if i knew someone who did heroin, i would deffinitely cut ties.... just explain how pot really isnt that bad, and NEVER DO HEROIN AGAIN, and i think you'll be all right.. peace
     
  7. #7 Nella, Jul 11, 2003

    yeah, Im never doing heroin again. It was just a one time thing, It wasnt so great. But im just one of those girls that will try anything once. so, yeah.
    The only bad part is I would love to explain to her how happy weed makes me, and how it really isnt that bad for me, but Im not really experienced with all the medical mumbo jumbo... the hempress seems to know a lot though. maybe i could talk to her.
    but i have a feeling that if i talk to my friend about how happy weed does make me feel, then it would just get worse, and she would cut herself off from me. I really dont want that to happen.
    so I just think im going to lay low for a while.
     
  8. #8 thccrystals, Jul 11, 2003
    ummm anyone that does heroin is a fucking idiot. you should listen to your friend and stop altering your state of consciusness. otherwise you'll be alone depending on heroin dealers for the rest of your life.
     
  9. #9 Nella, Jul 11, 2003

    Like I said before, It was a one time thing, its not like I shot up. I snorted it, and in my opinion, that is better than shooting up. Its not as bad. But then again, I dont know shit about heroin.
    Im never doing Heroin again, it was a one time thing. I really didnt like it anyway. But like I said.... Im one of those girls that will try anything once. ONCE.

    And GanjaMom, good advice, even though your "tokered". LOL.

    I will say this, I am a weed girl, and I'll never "ride the horse" again. Heroin isnt that great. Not all that its cracked up to be. I really didnt like it. I love weed so much better than heroin. trust me.
     
  10. #10 Mike Oxlong, Jul 11, 2003
    tell ur friend that weed is just something that u love to do and is a part of who u are. compare it to people who love to get large adrenaline rushes. it makes for a good comparison and its especially good in situations like this because it is not considered a negative thing. hope it all works out ok for u
     
  11. #11 Nella, Jul 11, 2003
    thanks guys...

    you know who I'm waiting to hear from though?

    TheHempress.........

    she knows exactly what I'm talking about. and who.
     
  12. #12 TheHempress, Jul 11, 2003
    I know you were talking about my journal. I'm sorry, but I don't censor things in it. Your friend shouldn't be looking at my journal anyway, since she thinks I'm such a bad person.

    I think you need to stand up for yourself. I don't like the idea that you and DarkMatter did heroin yesterday, (EDIT- even after I told you guys what it was like, and how it does not come close to comparing to the greatness of weed) but there is nothing wrong with weed. Read up on it, educate yourself. Tell her exactly how you feel about it, and how you feel about her putting you down like that. She needs to understand that all drugs do not fall into the same category...it's not black and white here...there are shades of gray.
     
  13. #13 Nella, Jul 11, 2003

    Im not asking you to censor things in your journal. I would not ask you to do that either. Im just worried. You know how I feel about her. I fucking love her. It does matter to me what she thinks of me. Its important to me. I just dont have the self confidence to say "fuck her" and move on.

    and about educating myself with weed, I dont know. I think Im just more of a recreational smoker, not like you and darkmatter, where you do it almost everyday.
    THAT gets to me too....gods! Its not like Im tokin up every fucking day, and shes upset with me! jesus christ!
    I just wish things could go back to the way they were, but when i think about that, that means the way I was before I met darkmatter, before I met you hempress. before I got high here, in PA. and I dont want to cut off friendships with you or darkmatter. I love you guys. but i dont want to cut friendship with HER either.
    Im in a catch 22. ugh. kill me. all this shit gives me a fucking headache. i need tylenol.........
     
  14. #14 TheHempress, Jul 11, 2003

    I know she's important to you...but I think she is wrong in making you feel guilty for hanging out with me and DarkMatter....she needs to understand that we are your friends too...we care about you just as much. Well, I do anyway. I'm sure DM does too, but sometimes he doesn't know what he's doing. You have to understand...I LOVE weed....I believe in it...I think it has so many uses, that most people don't see because they are blinded by enforced hatred for it. If you are only a recreational smoker, maybe you should give it up, if you value her that much. If you smoked as much or loved it as much as DM and I do, I would say stick with it. But if it's causing you this much trouble, give it up until your friendship with her dissolves on it's own anyway (not to be mean or harsh, but she always seemed to me like she would make up excuses to be mad at you anyway, so I think it's inevitable.)

    I think you need to get out more and make more friends who accept you for you. Not who they want you to be.
     
  15. #15 Nella, Jul 11, 2003

    ouch. the reason this hurts is because you are SO right. And DM does care about me. He told me so. but that's another issue, not to be discussed here.
    I know you love weed. I know DM loves weed. to a point, I love weed. I love the way it makes me feel. and I love hanging out with you and DM. its not just the weed, trust me with that. if you guys didnt smoke, I'd still hang out with you.
    But this whole thing with HER is difficult. I know eventually we will loose touch, I possibly may never see her again after she leaves for college. But I love her. I love all my friends.
    I dont want to give up my friends, and I dont want to give up my smoking, whether it be recreational or not.......
    so maybe i am an addict, as she says.
    but then again, she says DM is an addict also, and he does it more often than me. SO WHat the FUCK??????

    really. you know me. am I an addict? do I really have problems?

    GAH............
     
  16. #16 TheHempress, Jul 11, 2003

    I think you have problems, but we all do. I've got so many, I can't count them on all my fingers and toes. But if you are an addict, then I must be one too, and I do not consider myself one. And who is she to talk? She drinks and I think that is way worse than weed. (Yes, I am drunk now, but that's not the point...it's rare for me, and I only had 3 beers...and plus it was an early birthday party, since Dan won't be around).

    I don't think she has any room to talk. She says she's afraid of becoming an addict herself, but she already is. She's a beginning alcoholic. You know she's gonna be a full-fledged one once she gets to college.

    If you know your limits, what your body can handle, take care of yourself otherwise, and keep your life in order no one should have the right to put you down. Everyone is entitled to a little bit of fun.
     
  17. #17 Nella, Jul 11, 2003

    1: shes only gotten drunk once.
    2: I dont know whats going to happen to her when she gets to college. But I know her well enough to say that I dont think she'll become an alcoholic, but maybe Im wrong. I dont think she would want to turn into her mother. thats just something she wont do. plus, she has amazing will power, and she is a strong girl.
    3: I am entitled to fun. damn straight. i have my problems, i have my issues, but i do know my limits, but i dont care about them. when i do get fucked up, or get drunk, i dont care. my goal is to get as fucked up as possible. everytime. be it weed, or alcohol. i dont care about my limits after one beer, one jay.......it all goes to the back of my head, and i tell my limits to go fuck themselves. so maybe i am an addict. i dont know. but maybe youre right. maybe Im not. gods...... why do I have to care about my friends so much? why do i have to love them like I do? why do I have to care what they think about me?
    Why? because without them, I'd be nothing. I'd be dead. Each and everyone of them, including you, hempress, and DM too, has done something for me in a time of need. and in return, I have been there for you guys.
    Each and every one of my friends is my life.
    thats why i care.
    thats why i cant stand them to be mad at me
    thats why
    i cant live without them all
    its kind of like a drug.
    so there. i found my addiction.
    my friends.
     
  18. #18 blazntreez, Jul 11, 2003
    you gotta do what you feel is right.........party on
     
  19. #19 sensimil, Jul 11, 2003

    I havent read through all of this maybe to know more details, but im goin to give my 2 cents as far as what ive read here...It sounds like shes trying to control you. It also sounds as though she can succeed by minipulating you. If you think you need help, then thats only going to happen if you realize that you have a problem. until that fact is faced, nothing is going to be done about it. Maybe you think you dont have a problem, which maybe be true as well, only you truthfully can tell, if you are honest with yourself. sometimes you may need to get help from the outside. If thats the case you need to help yourself first and seek that out, if not, I think shes saying these things for her benefit. She could feel threatened that she may loose you as a friend..But if there is really not a problem here, she can be just saying these things for that control in the relationship.
     
  20. #20 Digit, Jul 11, 2003
    toking and non toking friends shouldnt really live with each other unless both are really tollerant. and i mean TOLLERANT! i've been there. the friendship just wont be the same after it.
     
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