Food and Drug Administration (FDA) Disclosure:

The statements in this forum have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are generated by non-professional writers. Any products described are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Website Disclosure:

This forum contains general information about diet, health and nutrition. The information is not advice and is not a substitute for advice from a healthcare professional.

Should I give it a shot? Educating my parents

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by BassanSan, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. So, I am 18 almost 19 and my parents recently found out that I smoke because my step mom took it upon herself to tear apart my room one day because I " listen to hippie music. "

    This devil of a woman found my baby, my very first bowl and a 20 sack, which she took and trashed somewhere. As you can imagine, all hell broke lose in my crazy conservative family and my smoking was compared to doing heroin by my wonderful mother. So, it is quite evident that my family is terribly uninformed about the herb.

    My parents seem to think herb is the devil and that I will end up dropping out of school and living by myself as a drug addict somewhere or in jail.

    I tried to explain to them that I smoke responsibly and I have been smoking for 4 years while maintaining a 3.8 GPA through high school, getting accepted to my college of choice and working two part time jobs. They didn't want to hear it, they took this as me "defending my wrong doing" and claimed it was disrespectful for me to propose.

    To make it worse, my ignorant parents removed anything they deemed "drug related from my room." ( This included my Bob Marley poster above my bed, my buddha statue because it burned a candle they assumed I used to cover up the smell, and a blanket from my bed because it was one of those warm mexican tribal blanket type things.)

    My parents also labeled all my friends as " drug addicts " and tried to not allow me to see them, even going so far as to take my phone from my room and call up my closest friends telling them we are no longer able to hang out because " they are all potheads. "

    Both of my parents have bought their own drug testing kits and are claiming they are going to randomly drug test me in the near future and if I fail or they find anything I will be cut off car insurance and from my social life. I see this as pure ignorance and destructive to their own son's life over such a minor issue.

    So, my question is.... what do I do? I haven't smoked in 20 days in fear of a surprise urine test, but I hate not being able to smoke when all my friends are rolling up a fat blunt. Do I test the waters and tamper with the test or find an ingenious hiding spot? Or do I cower in fear of my parents and give up all resistance and quit smoking all together?

    I recently compiled a 3 page report on the myths surrounding marijuana and dispelled a good number of them with credible sources and included a one page bibliography, I am still uncertain if I should present this to them and ask if I can be allowed to smoke if I do so responsibly.

    I have always had my own rules where I don't smoke if I have work and not until after all my school work is done, I am clearly mature enough to handle myself, but they don't see it this way.

    Well, I know it's a lot to read, but I think it shows that I have invested much thought into this topic and that I AM NOT some kid who smokes to create a perception of " being cool."

    I am a responsible smoker just looking for some help!

    Light up a blunt for me, as I cannot. :smoking:
  2. I would go against such an approach. I have confronted my parents about it many times with well thought out arguments but they just don't want to hear it, and it usually gets me into more trouble. Most people don't think rationally. I'm not insulting anyone, it's just how it is. People usually believe things based on gut feelings and people like that can't usually be swayed by facts. It's funny that you are so responsible with it and how angry they are acting. My advise would be to play a guilt trip. Like you were saying, they are going to basically ruin your life if you keep smoking, I'd try an emotional attack on them; most people will respond to that in some way. Of course, knowing your facts isn't a bad idea either. With however you choose to approach them, good luck.
  3. sucks man. im 19 and i just went through the opposite thing. i told my parents yesterday, but they both smoke, so they just said as long as it doesnt affect my school or work and as long as i dont it more and more and more since they know now then it shouldnt be a problem. basically just stay responsible and dont abuse it.

    but yeah, i really feel your pain, because you sound like a mature responsible person. the first advice i can give is kind of extreme, but it is basically fool proof. you are 18, you have 2 jobs, you could move out and do what you like, but i take living at home for granted and i am very fortunate to have parents that have the same views as me about weed.

    if moving out is out of the question (i wouldnt move out if my parents wouldnt let me smoke, so i dont blame you) all you can really do is not smoke for the time being, and slowly try to educate them. just talk to them seriously one on one and dont get defensive or act out. just tell them the facts, as mature as you can. but ease into it.

    if they lash back by saying "blah blah its out of the question" even when you ease into a conversation responsibly and maturely, then i would have to say you're out of luck. but good luck man. i will deff dedicate my next bowl to you.
  4. People who are that absorbed by propaganda are hopeless. Some kid I known for about a year was dissing people who smoke weed said they are all a little off. I just said do I seem off? He goes no way dude! Well i smoke weed everyday...he just was like o wow! thats gonna kill your brain cells dude. god....ignorance....
  5. Thanks for the quick replies guys, I didn't really expect anyone to read it once I typed it up and realized how long it was but I figured I would give it a shot.

    I agree FreeName, I would love to educate them and have them receive it well, but I know my parents to well and I would be met with more punishment and it would only worsen my situation. Creating the list was more venting and wishful thinking on my part I guess.

    K-Lent I am jealous of your situation, open-minded parents would be a blessing but I can't change them, it's best to try to do as you said and work with them maybe slowly squeezing in facts to change their minds.

    Moving out is out of the question at the moment, I am working on paying off my car at the moment so that is where pretty much all of my money is going at this point. I only have about 15 hundred left to pay off after which I can save up and think of moving out. The only problem is my parents pay my cell phone, college and car insurance, which I would have to be able to step up and start paying which I am not sure I can handle yet.

    Enjoy your bowl K-Lent :smoking:
  6. That sucks man. I'm 20 and my mom has been really chill about it ever since she found out like 2 years ago. My dads an alcoholic who also dabbles in coke and she knows bud is a much less damaging and dangerous substance. She's even gone as far as recently having a legit sit down conversation with me about growing and that as long as I'm not blowing up the house with sales or selling to my little sis, who smokes, she'll be cool with it. I gave her the whole "I grow organic healthy pot with no dangerous chemicals or lacing" speech plus I have really bad anxiety so she gave me the go ahead. My dad on the other hand is a judgmental dick about it. even with his aforementioned vices. Luckily for me he lost his foot hold on the "ruler of the house" position when my sis found a bag of nose candy in his back pack heh. :p

    Hope you parents eventually let up though man. Good luck if you decide to go through with it. Definitely let em know you've been respecting their rules up to this point though, maybe even offer to take a test as a sign of good faith.

  7. depending on the age of your sister... wow... your dad's a dickend.

    and to the OP, your parents are dicks. Just don't do it in the house, don't let it affect anything else in your life in a negative way, and just hope they open their minds eventually... and from my experience, work on your mom, she's going to be the first to see the light, because women listen.
  8. Hey man, I was in a very similar situation at your age. Like very similar. Truthfully dude, you're going to put up with this bullsh*t for a while, but I do think that talking with them about it is the best thing. Just sit them down and say something like "Hey, I know you guys don't respect my hobby, but if you respect my at all you'll listen to my side of this story". Then explain to them that you aren't doing it to be rebellious, that you aren't doing it to be cool or to make friends, but give them a real reason you're doing it. For me, I have extreme anger problems which my parents know about, but when I'm high I'm much less likely to become aggrivated. Assure them you won't get high at school or work (even if you do, do it secretly obviously lol), and will keep them informed of some things. Like remember, it's more the common effects of marijuana use that scares parents more than the marijuana itself. If you tell them who you're hanging out with and that you'll be smoking pot in private and not hurting anyone, I'll bet they'll be less pissed.

    That's my two cents, take it or leave it.

    Good luck
  9. Dude i went through the exact same scenario on monday! My parents searched my room when i went to the West Beach Music Festival on sunday, and sat me down to have a "talk" on monday. They really weren't listening to me and my mom was very ignorant, not to mention arrogant, but i had lots of examples of how it hasn't affected me school wise and job wise, so they are a bit cooler about me smoing. At the beginning, they tried to make an ultimatum of me throwing out my bong, bubbler, pipes, and stash or them calling the cops, but i made it clear that by them doing that, they are putting their own house on a known list of drug related properties :D. Then they said they would turn my phone off and would destroy my pieces, but i said i would sue them for destruction of property. So after about an hour, my parents finally gave in due to my knowledge of the law and mj itself, and they had no counterarguments to defend themselves. +1 for the stoner of the family!
  10. That's crazy, my family never had that attitude. Been smoking pot with my father since I was 15, and although my mother was never exactly fond of it when she started to find stuff in my room, she never attempted to force me to stop it, only recommended it.

  11. so, you were hiding a baby in your room?? and she took it and trashed it? or by baby did you mean your pipe?

  12. was a real baby...cuz that makes PERFECT sense.
  13. haha :eek:
  14. As for your parents problem,the anwser is that you have to move out and be free from them,and im guessing that their going to say something along the lines of "It's our house,our rules." So yeah,try to from a room mate seeing that you have a job and all.the same shit happen with my sister and she just said "fuck their dumbasses,they will never see it the way we see it" and moved out.Best decision She ever made.:wave:
  15. Speaking as a parent and a pothead.... (I have an 8 year old daughter and a 4 year old son)

    This is hard....because your kids are your kids and most of them don't know the fucken definition of MODERATION. But.... I have always told my wife that I have three rules in my home. And if these three rules can be followed, I can look past almost anything.

    Rule #1 -- You must keep an A average in exceptions. Fall below that and you will grow mold and study until the average comes up.

    Rule #2 -- Keep you zipper up (if you're a boy) and your legs closed (If you're a girl) until you leave my home.

    Rule #3 -- You are to NEVER drink/smoke and drive nor get into a vehicle with someone who has drank/smoked. If you do, the first offense will lose your vehicle for 90 days. Second offense, the vehicle get's sold. If you drink/smoke too much and you call me to pick you up, it'll be a slap on the wrist and a long boring talk.

    You see, I believe as long as you follow these three rules, no matter the mistakes you make, you can come back from them. Break these rules and you can be sentencing yourself to a life that is less than you dreamed for. far as your parents go. They sound a lot like my parents growing up. Religious zealots who embrace propaganda and folklore over common sense and reason. I mean, if your grades are what you say they are.....and you are keeping your smoking to non work/school hours, then what's the big deal? (Keep in mind they don't understand the benign effects pot has)

    A few Q's:

    --With that grade average you should be getting into a good school....when are you leaving?
    --Your 19....if you're not going to college, you need to move the fuck out and get a life of your own

    It took me until my mid 30's to finally stop hiding who I am with my parents. I finally told them..."This is who i am....tattoos, pot and all. I pay my bills, I am good to my wife and kids and I am a respectable voting citizen of it or leave it."

    Just my .02

    P.S. -- Try this: Tell them you will make a deal. Ask them to sit and watch 3 documentaries of your choice (without you there). Then y'all sit around the kitchen table and discuss them. Don't interrupt, just let them talk. Make sure you have a list of all the points in your favor (i.e., your GPA, good work ethic, no smoking in school or work, etc) Keep calm, don't patronize them...just be calm. Tell them if they don't see it as safer than a beer when you're done, you promise not to touch it again as long as you live in their house. (And bro, no matter how looney they are, it is THEIR house)

    I recommend:
    --The Union
    --Grass (with Woody Harrelson)
  16. Well, for one, remind your parents that you're 18 and they have no right to try to circumscribe your social life, and that the removal of your (legal; the poster, the blanket, the buddha statue) property from your room against your wishes is tantamount to theft. You're an adult.

    I don't think the prospects for education are good. Your step searched your room because you listen to "hippie music". That kind of person is too crazy to listen to facts when it goes against their beliefs.
  17. congrats man, if only it went this well for everyone :)
  18. #18 Sombra, Sep 24, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 24, 2009
    Know how you feel man, went through the same shit wen i was 14. then again i was 14 not 19 and my grades wer shitty. plus i ditched alot and hung out wit my friends all day. Stil you gotta make your parents understand. though a huge report on cannabis would seem really professional do what slowTXburn said. Educate them, if they still don't like it tell them you'll stop (just to get them off your back). never stop smoking they love you and will accept you no matter wat.

    Seriously tho I'm 18 and moving out soon. If you don't wanna stay in their house rent a 2 bedroom apartment with a friend you can trust and smoke your brains to mush together
  19. #19 SlowBurn, Sep 24, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2009
    sikander -- If my kids approached me like that at 19, I would let them know it's my house...and give them 90 days to get the fuck out. He has ZERO rights in a home he doesn't pay for. And yes, he's an adult....he's an adult just as soon as he financially takes care of himself.

    kevin08 -- You have the most affable and dumb parents around. I would have handed you a hammer and made you break your own shit then snatched you up by your balls and let you know how it was going to be.

    People like the two of you make the biggest argument AGAINST weed. You're doing the government's job FOR THEM.

    You want weed legal? Smoke pot, be respectful to your nutty parents until you move out...then be ambitious in your career and VOTE Libertarian.
  20. Bullshit. He's still a human and he still has rights, and even if they're not strictly legally enforceable it's still a shitty way to act. I was suggesting an appeal to human decency.

Share This Page