Should i get out before i get hurt?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by MaJunior, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. Well...heres the story. I met this girl at the beach 5 years ago (14 at the time) and we have had feelings for each other since. we live 9 hours away and have seen each other at least once or twice a year since then. she was my first for almost everything. i lost my virginity to her. and i can say that i love her. shes my first love. but sadly even though i feel this way i havent had the chance to actually be with her besides the times we have seen each other.

    well im 19 now and currently in the military. im not sure where ill be stationed, but shes going to college in a month. i asked her if she was going to forget about me and she said "no but idk whats going to happen. do you think we will ever actually be together?"

    I said "yes, i want to be with you".

    and she said "i know but i dont want to base my life around another person idk we can talk about this another time."

    well...from the sounds of it, it seems like she doesnt think it will work out between us. and it sucks. i love her and i want to be with her, but i cant. and im not sure if ill ever get the chance. and at the same time shes going to be in college....and well...its college. i dont want to just end it and forget about her, but i dont want to get hurt.

    gc could i get some good advice? like whats the best approach? should i never speak to her so it will be less painful? is there absolutely no chance? and at the same time it gives me a feeling of loneliness. im in a new place with only a few friends. i dont seem to attract many other girls. ive never been amazing with women. but for some reason she likes me a lot. idk what to do....
  2. Been there my friend.

    To be honest,out of sight out of mind..

    That girl however much she may like you has her own life separate from yours and you aren't involved.

    She may have feelings for you but she will only give you the occasional thought.

    She will spend her time with friends,other men etc and her life and thoughts will consist of that.

    She may not forget you,but the fact is you still have to be separated for a long time due to school/military.

    You are really in a bad position with this girl.

    I had such a relationship with a girl and I know it is frustrating that you love her yet cannot be with her.

    It is the ultimate frustration and it will destroy you emotionally.

    I don't know what you'll be doing in the military but I assure you your mind needs to be on task.

    Things like this distract you and distraction is unacceptable in combat.

    I really have no advice other than to really think about it, it may a lot easier to accept losing her as a lover,and accept her as an old friend you will occasionally talk to.

    That's how I went about it and it helped me get over it, to this day I don't regret my decision.

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