a few days ago i posted about my bfs weed addiction http://forum.grasscity.com/sex-love-relationships/1258934-boyfriends-weed-addiction.html so ive tried talking to him again, as nicely as possible about my concerns for his future and overall wellbeing. we've been very serious about each other and have been together for almost 2 years. we also live together. he basically smokes weed and plays games most of the time, and currently living off employment insurance and plans to do so until it runs out. he tells me all he wants in life is to become a millionaire but when he thinks about the future, he gets depressed because he knows he would have to work hard for it. so he puts off a lot of time, procrastinating and showing little interest in brodening his options for the future. he tells me he's not settling for his current lifestyle after i asked if this is fulfilling for him, yet he keeps telling me to "give him a break" and that i'm sounding like his mom when i suggest him to keep his options open. i'm not telling him to go to school tho, but he's acting as if i'm putting too much pressure on him. i'm not asking him that he needs to figure out what his absolute passion is right now in this exact moment, but that's what he thinks i'm asking and idk. (basically he doesnt get why i'm worried about him and thinks im just judging and looking at him like a loser) ive been telling myself i should probably break it off soon, but its tough that we live together, and that i need time to look at places/save some money. i dont have a place to crash or live at temporarily. and it's tougher when my boyfriend acts like nothing's happened the next day, and talks all cute with me/get all affectionate. idk what to do here
From an old fool who's been through too much shit (including 2 marriages) IMO your guy is a bum and will never amount to anything. He's high all the time, is on unemployment, and wants to be a millionaire. A recipe for a loser. But living together is going to make it tough to break it off for a lot of reasons. We get comfortable in such situations and don't want to disrupt our lives. So we stay miserable. I know a woman, around 50 (young stuff!) that I've been trying to bang for 6 months. She's been living with a guy for 10 years (they own a house together) and will not cheat on him although she bitches about him being a bum and not wanting to work. She is stuck. The only thing worse than being alone (like I am) is to be in a rotten relationship with no easy way out. Whatever you do, don't end up old and stuck in a miserable relationship.
Save your money and bail out on the bum as fast as you can. Dont look back, you can move forward and have a nice life. Do you have an older brother or friend to give the dipshit a wake up call?
only child here, i have few friends who are sitll in the city but they all rent rooms, so def no space ther elol i have my dad but tbh we dont have a good relationship at all and he's just verbally abusive so i think the only way ill ever resort to living with him is if im shiiit poor or in serious danger
Save and break it off when you can hun. In the mean time get him out of the house, might give him some motivation to do something with his time. He sounds depressed to me tbh.
the fucked up thing about all of this is that, a part of me convinces me to stay, telling me despite this stuff he's good to me, and that we're so cute together when things are good.. and deep down i obvs worry about not finding that closeness and acting all cute and stuff with someone else is this normal
I'm almost 19 and I've yet to have my first kiss, there's more important things in life than making a cute couple. Being alone sucks, but putting your life on hold is even worse. If he's dragging you down you need to move on. There are over 6 billion people on this planet, you'll connect with someone else eventually. I'm probably not the best person to give relationship advice but from a practical standpoint you're fooling yourself into thinking your happy. Go with your gut, try not to over analyze the possibilities.
Buy a local newspaper and look in the classifieds for a roommate. If you can afford to live with him then you can afford to live with a roommate. If you think the situation is bad now wait until his unemployment runs out. It's your income you'll both be depending on. That won't last very long. You'll most likely end up living with your abusive father. You can't change him. He has to want that for himself. Meanwhile he is dragging you down. The S.S. Loser is sinking. Time to abandon ship.
There is no bigger way to fail at a relationship than to try and change someone. If he's not going to help himself, there's nothing you can do to help him. Leave. Let him be who he is. If he doesn't like it, he has to take the initiative to change. Until that time comes, so long, sucker!