should i dump her because im not good enough

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by TheCoolest420, Jun 21, 2013.

  1. I have this girlfriend. We have dated on and off for 4 years. Since i was 14. We like came of age together.

    Shes my bestfriend. And even when we were broken up i still talked to her.

    But shes a sweetheart. Super faithful. Super loyal. I doubt she would ever cheat or leave me. She buys me gifts all the time. She cleans my house. The sex is amazing. She'll even make me a sandwhich when we are done fuckin if i ask nice.

    Shes a really amazing girl. She thinks shes in love. And she wants to move out east with me and work to help with bills while i go to school. Then be my housewife after i get good job.

    I love her but im not in love with her. I would take a bullet for her. But i would also cheat on her. And if i met a girl who made me happier i would leave her.

    I feel like im not a good guy for her. I feel like she needs a guy who believes in soulmates. And love. And marriage. But im not him. I know if i dump her again (3rd time) its gonna crush her. And i know she feels that we are meant to be. But i feel like i cant make her truly happy. And i better off with a girl who has the same views as me on love.
  2. Definitely don't do it if your not 100% in to her. just think your gonna have to spend your whole life with her
  3. Fuck you if you cheat on her. You know it is totally wrong what you are doin to that girl. Show some FUCKING RESPECT.LEAVE.

    please make y our point without the disrespect, we dont allow it here - YODA
  4. You're right about one thing.   She deserves better.  Think about what you're doing.  You're using her.   This arrangement is perfect for you. You get free housecleaning services, an offer to financially support you, great sex anytime you want with a sandwich thrown in for perks AND free gifts.  Yep this arrangement is perfect for a user.  Which is exactly what you're doing.   Using her until something better comes along.  
    If you truly loved her like you say, then you would be up front and completely honest with her.  She deserves at least that much.  Be a man and tell her the truth... or be a douchebag and use her until you find "the right gal."   
  5. #5 Serenity, Jun 21, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2013
    What  a _______. Tell her this and break up with her right now. She deserves better. 
  6. break up, you're not the girl for her
    if you already broke up twice before i'm sure that's a clear indication your relationship isn't working out well anyway
  7. #7 A Rational Psychopath, Jun 21, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2013
    You are going to be slaughtered and dragged through the fucking dirt. The blades are getting on their high horses as we speak; some have already arrived :lol:. Anyways you said you'd cheat "IF I met a girl who made me happier;" so I'm assuming you haven't (yet). You should be able to assert yourself; if you find someone better, break off the old relationship. Don't sneak around.
  8. :laughing: 'not the girl for her'
    but anyway.. ive done it bro.. ive broken up with a girl i been with for multiple years.. known her for 10+, cause i was tired of runnin her through the dirt.. tired of her always worrying about me, tired of her always being there for me when im not even there for myself, tired of her loving me unconditionally no matter what shit i put her through.. if i didnt give a shit about her id continue to take advantage and use her.. but i loved the girl.. thats love.. if you love someone you want the best for them, whether thats with you or without you.. she deserved better, she was just too dumb to see it, so i forced her to go find it
  9. I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I had everything that women long for. I had a loving husband who would do anything for me. We had a son together. We had a life. It killed me to leave him but I had to because I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. He deserved happiness and I did as well. It still sucks and he kind of hates me but I know that one day he will find real love and he will be grateful that I gave him that opportunity. He may not see it right away but I'm certain that one day he will.

    I've also been the girl who's ride or die for a no good dude. No matter what he said or did, I would be there because I wanted him to know that I would support him no matter what. That's what she is. She's ride or die and she's gonna stick around as long as possible until you break it off.

    It's gonna suck for both of you but just keep in mind that you're doing the right thing for both of you in the end. She has to take some responsibility for what she's done to put herself in this situation by staying with a guy who doesn't treat her right. Not saying its her fault but shed grown and you aren't responsible for compromising yourself to make her happy.

    Good luck, Op.
  10. So yesterday i tried to dump her. I was just like "we should take a break and you should meet other guys. You've only really dated me and should see if maybe theres a better guy out there"

    The flood gates broke immediatly. She cried like a baby for like an hour. Told me how cruel i was and shit. Then begged me not to leave cuz im the only one 4 her.

    Im a sucka for crying girls. Its not like i can tell her to suck it up.

    Maybe ill just tell her i dont want an exclusive relationship. I never said i did btw. For all you peeps calling me shit.
    If her flood gates broke immediately at the sound of breaking up, I doubt she would be able to emotionally handle a non-exclusive relationship. At all. OP, I know it's easier said than done, but you really must be firm when talking to this girl. It's probably something a girl never wants to hear, but it'll hurt less now versus if you stretch it out for so long.
    Rather than telling her you want to break up because she's never dated other guys, you need to be more straightforward about your reasons. You explained everything perfectly well in your first post, and if I was in your girl's position and my guy told me that, I would be devastated honestly, but I would respect that you were up front and honest about what you felt. It's going to hurt both of you. That's inevitable. 
    If you started dating at 14 and have only dated for 4 years, you guys are only 18? Fuck man, there's so much life to live when you are in your 20's. Don't get tied down now, especially if you don't want to.
  12. #12 A Rational Psychopath, Jun 21, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2013
    If she cried because you wanted to end the relationship, I'd imagine it would be much worse IF you cheated on her. If you really do feel 'bad,' you'd realize what one should do; even if you're a ''sucker" for 'crying girls.'
  13. bro im fuckin scared. If i try to break up with her again shes gonna flipshit. Plus she'll probably never speak to me again. Alas i need to grow a pair.
  14. You have to make that decision though. She probably will never speak to you again. In order to truly get over someone, she will have to cut you off. Maybe temporarily. Maybe forever. But you can't let your life revolve around this girl that you aren't wanting to be with for the rest of your life. Think of all the opportunities you're missing out on, dude. And I'm not just talking about women, but just everything in general.
  15. If you have to question it, ya dont hurt her..
  16. I'm being very blunt here, but you're an idiot and do this girl a favor and leave her. Don't "dump" her but explain to her what you told to us. So it won't look like you are a Mr. nice guy.
  17. well i'll be damned! A guy with a brain! I was not as smart, I married and cheated. I was the biggest a-hole in my wife's life. The sad part is,,is that i was not aware of who i was back then.
     Do this girl a favor. Sit down and have the most mature adult heartfelt talk with her about who you really are. Tell her what you posted here. Do you best not to hurt her in the process. If she still loves you, then tell her that you will marry her but not remain faithful to her. If she accepts that, then I am jealous. If not, well, if she's young, i guess she will get over it. Good luck!
  18. You are about to lose the moon while looking at the stars.
  19. Man i was in the same position. Dragging it out is only going to hurt both of you. Be fair to her and end it before she gets in too deep and is crushed. You owe her that much.
  20. OP what are your views on love?

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