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Short story - overthinking, anxiety, depression

Discussion in 'Medical Marijuana Usage and Applications' started by aknaydenov, Sep 9, 2021.

  1. Hi folks,

    Thank you for having this huge community and letting me be a member of it.

    Here is my story as short as I can make it. I'm a 30 year old, had post covid19, but most importantly at this age I realized, with a lot of self research, reading and professional help that I had lots of hidden mental issues, many starting from childhood.
    Most importantly perfectionism, workaholism, lack of self care, living inside your bubble, lack of self care. It later turned out I had everyday anxieties I've been overlooking, as well as inability to shut down one's brain. I would have anxiety and nightmares about work even while sleeping. For more than a decade, what I've trying to represented myself is was - work, ambitions, achievements and perfectionism.

    A few months after covid with severe post symptoms, my body started symptoms of literally shutting down. There was worry and adrenaline in everything daily, also occasional kidney pain from adrenal fatigue, mild anti-depressants really didn't work. At some point I started feeling distant from everybody, hating everyone.

    Finally there was a breaking point where, after attempting some common meds, I tried marijuana for healing purposes. I was already familiar with weed for mentally calming purposes, having consumed occasionally as smoke and canaoil.

    I'm now 2 weeks on therapy using a Dynavap, consuming approximately 0.08g per day. I'm a bit afraid of potential addiction, so I'm monitoring daily intake. There are some days more is needed, another day less.

    The huge healing benefits for now are:

    -Anxiety, overall worrying brain activity just drops. In a way that makes me feel a human again.
    -This gives courage to do previously negliged things in life. Courage to physically exercise again, courage to overcome challenges I was previously drained from.
    -Public anxiety drops as well, conversations with people are sharp, warm hearted and smooth. Laugh it or not, but my business emails are much more diplomatic.
    -Feeling priority for tasks that makes us more human. Giving care for a close one is now more important than work.
    -Not getting into the overthinking trap. Not stumbling within the void of despair.
    -Gives a kind of military life attitude - Just Do It.
    -I stopped binging on Energy drinks, Coffee and junk sugaries. The mind just stopped needing them. Appetite feels so much normalized and I'm losing weight. Skin looks healthier, and dark circles bellow eyes considerably reduced.
    -Sleep is now.. sleep! And really rejuvenates the body.
    -Some body pains, such as joint pain went away.
    -Misophonia is slightly better. I still have the triggers, but the long-term anxiety is much less.


    Due to the fact I'm a rookie and recently started it, I'm yet a bit insecure if I'm doing things right. It's probably some leftover anxiety as well, but I needed to share you guys this short story to let me know of your opinion if this makes sense to you, and what kind of therapy other people sharing similar issues do?

    Best regards,
    Alexander.
     
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  2. Hi, Check out this forum thread here on GC, talks about how to boost/ increase the cannabis experience with whole peppercorns ...
    Cannabis Black Pepper.
    Also, whole peppercorns alone can reduce anxiety ETC... just keep a few in your pocket and chew on one or two whole peppercorns if you feel anxious or before that sets in ... the trick is, the beta caryophyllene in there helps .. there is other compounds too that you will find talked about in that thread that help to increase how cannabis metabolizes in your body ...
    what I've found is that if it's used before cannabis dose it increases effects and if used after cannabis dose can slow down effects , of course somewhat dependent on your anatomy and what not ...
    it is know as a cannabimimetic ... we have many of those available as well .... anything that activates the cannabinoid receptors in our cells is an cannabimimetic ..
    you can as well find cannabis types with beta caryophyllene as the main monoterpene in that type ... leafly has some info on that on their site and other places etc...
     
  3. Hey folks,

    Sorry for replying so lately!

    Thanks a lot Galaxy420 and TedddyBear!

    Galaxy, very good advice, I started reading on this. It works quite well too.

    TedddyBear, thanks for sharing such similar experience! I hope you've coped as well. The issue you have can be so deeply burrowed within you, it can take years of self-awareness, analysis, and luck.

    Some of you may really laugh, but the micro-marijuana consumption helps me get back memories, especially from childhood, which were assumed for forever lost. When having these memories back, I'm slowly building my identity back, because, well.. your memories are part of your fundamental self.

    What the effect really does, is switching off my everyday alertness I've been used living with for not really sure how long. This allows for my mind to prioritize things and work I need to do for health and soul instead of work and perfectionism. Simply said - I work on myself while being high, just into another, hopefully, adequate direction.

    The memories get so deep sometimes that I can return to my childhood trauma moments, analyze them multiple times and psychologically understand relations together with my own self, as well as search for a cure or solution.

    In the beginning they would be all fragmented due to my temptation to go throughout all the years of my life in a quick way, instead of focusing on one event only. It was scary at first, but I used to it. In the beginning I would even cry due to the effect of getting an impactful memory back to you - you realize this memory affected your present self, and the lack of it altered your perceptions. The feeling is somehow similar to realizing a moment in your life where you've kicked a pebble, which made a wagon crash and a roll of events.
     
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  4. that is awesome that you are capable of making those connections and having closure if you will for life's events that in the moment happen so fast we need time later to reflect and decide on them ... cannabis helps us to slow down just enough to focus more on stuff and not be as emotionally involved while doing so ... kind of like meditation but being aware and awake while meditating...

    Also on the health front would like to mention @Storm Crow , she has so much info available on omega three and how that effects over all health and especially the cannabis metabolism effects we experience ... not sure if you are focused on your omega three amounts or not but can add another level of lipid metabolism that solely supports cannabis metabolism ... the trick is that omega three turns into Endocannabinoids in our cells ! our cells use essential fatty acids from our diets to form lipid signaling ( cannabinoids) that functionally drive the mechanisms of cells in the endocannabinoid system, mechanisms that maintain pro homeostasis in so many cells you cannot even count that high .
    a few articles I'll link here but follow Grannystormcrow too to know way more of this

    anti-inflammitory W-3 endocannabinoid epoxides Anti-inflammatory ω-3 endocannabinoid epoxides

    https://themodern.farm/studies/Omega-3 Deficiancy Abolish Endocannabinoid Function.pdf

    Food for Mood: Relevance of Nutritional Omega-3 Fatty Acids for Depression and Anxiety
    Food for Mood: Relevance of Nutritional Omega-3 Fatty Acids for Depression and Anxiety

    Interplay Between n-3 and n-6 Long-Chain Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids and the Endocannabinoid System in Brain Protection and Repair
    Interplay Between n-3 and n-6 Long-Chain Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids and the Endocannabinoid System in Brain Protection and Repair - PubMed
     
  5. Hey folks,

    Discovered aroma therapy using essential oils, and I couldn't say they lag behind Mary. Ylang Ylang has a very strong effect, as well as a calming blend of lavender, orange and pine oils.

    While Mary gives a calming boost to fly that crashing plane, so to perform well in jobs, these essential oils can literally shut even the most revving engines.
     

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