she says she needs time.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by DankNug420, Nov 22, 2011.

  1. So last thursday my girlfriend of seven months decides she's going out because she had a bad day, now I'm broke and jobless and sick of her always paying my way. It was kind of a big deal to me as she was going with a group of 7 guys and 3 girls. I was kind of upset about it, and she said if it was a big deal she wouldn't of went (of course it's a big fucking deal!) I tried to be nice and told her just to go, we were talking for the majority of the night but she got mad because I found some xanax to put me to sleep. She goes home at 4:45 after I got mad because bars close at 2 and she wasn't home.

    Anyways I bought her flowers the next day to apologize for getting mad. We both apologize but then she says she needs time because we have literally been together for 7 months solid. I love her, but it's been almost a week should I leave her alone for another few days and if she's not done 'figuring things out' tell her i'm done waiting? I have since gotten a job and working on getting my license unsuspended. maybe these next couple days will be good for both of us?
  2. Why did you freak out man. If you love her then you trust her... obviously you do not trust her so where is the love.
    Get your shit together if there is a girl worth your time.
  3. i know. i see it more as jealousy as she was getting fucked up and i wasn't. she is worth my time and i do trust her. and i have been trying to get my shit together. but thank you it's not always what you want to hear, it's what you need to hear.
  4. #4 OutOnTheTiles, Nov 22, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2011
    Dude I hate to be the one to come out and say it but... I would think its pretty safe to say that she cheated/is cheating on you.
  5. ^I hate when people say that.
  6. #6 OutOnTheTiles, Nov 22, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2011
    The truth hurts dont it? Trust me Ive been there and done that, and have seen it happen to friends. Its not hard to see that its very likely that shes cheating on him.
  7. dude if u know shes cheating ull know

  8. Time to what? Bang other guys and see who she wants to be with? You dont think that when girls say they need time that theyre spending it alone do you?
  9. that's one of those thoughts that goes through my head. you can't bullshit a bullshitter, but i'm choosing to see the good in her. it's not like she cut me out of her life. it's just time spent together and talking has been reduced. I trust her. I won't let it go on for too long, but I trust her
  10. I've watched both of my parents be cheated on and lied to about the subject, I recognize the signs. which is one of the reasons I'm having such a hard time. I will give her time. but I refuse to sit around until our next anniversary (next week)
  11. If you smother/suffocate her you're going to push her away. But personally, I think the way you got mad stemmed from more than just her going out with a group of guys and girls. You say about the financial thing, as if you're dependant on her for it. Do you feel shame in it or what? Correct me if I'm misreading what you're saying.

    Allow her to clear her mind and SHE'LL come back to you. But if you keep going at her you're going to push her further and further away.
  12. Physically pick her up, throw her.

    Measure the distance.

    Don't trust them as far as you can throw them. (or some bullshit like that)
  13. Im sorry for being so blunt/harsh Dank, just wanted to give my honest opinion

  14. you are 100% right. I'm not dependent but as of late have not contributed besides our anniversary and the occasional flowers. I got a job on monday and start next week, but I definitely feel the man should take care of the woman. and i really need to show her that.

  15. Well yes, sometimes we are.

  16. you're fine man, honestly I expected it when I put it on here as the situation is kind of sketch and have had my own thoughts . I just needed those few outside thoughts to keep my sober head straight. fuck i hate new jobs
  17. You shouldn't feel inadaquate for being dependant on a woman. It isn't long term and if she doesn't have a problem with it, neither should you. Make it up to her the best you can. You said about your parents before - coming from experience, do NOT let what happened between your parents effect how YOUR relationships turn out. Trust me, it's a lonely ass path you don't want to go down. If you trust her and are comfortable with her, you need to understand she's entitled to a social life outside of you (same applies to yourself). Make her understand that the dependancy isn't going to be for long and you're trying your best. If you try your hardest to make her understand where you're coming from it's all that can be asked from you. If it doesn't work out, then accept it and move on with your life. Don't dread on one person when there's thousands more out there. You've your entire life to experience "true love" and if she's not the one, don't let it hold you back. But overall, don't allow your pride and dignity effect the relationship if you want it that bad. You will regret it and I guaruntee you that.

  18. you are a wise man. I'm going to give her the time. I've tried sooo hard to not let what happened to my parents effect my relationships, but it's hard when you see so many similarities
  19. Hang in there man, Im sure things will work out for you one way or another. Ive been through a few serious relationships (longest one was two years and we lived together) and the experiences really made me grow and I dont regret any of it. Ive been single for about three years now and have been much happier if that makes you feel any better. Anyways I hope everything works out for ya

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