i fell in love about a yr ago change my whole life for this girl i quit smoking my mom even let her move in when she had no place to go. i thought i would marry this girl. never fell in love b4 never thoought it would ever end but life through me a reality check last month. i wake up to my girls voice saying hi whitch is not odd she offten lets her slef in cuz she knows im always sleeping at 4:30 pm cuz i work night shift. anyway she said hi i was like hi i huged her but right from the start iknew somethign was odd something was not right she then said cani have my cd player back and im like ok why not then she asked for this stuff anaimal of hers that she said i could keep as long as we are going out so then i knew she said we can still be friends well now its a month later im still fealing lonely me and jen have been trying this friend thing out 4 a couple weeks now but its working but its very odd were friends but we hold hands and cuddle and go to the movies and all other things people do when they go out but were friends. a thing you guys have to understand is that i lvoe this girl i love her with all myheart but she ripped it out and now she just treating me like a pupit she tells me not to call her so i dont but next thing i know she calls me. she tells me not to tryto hold her hand when we go out as friends but then she holds mine and lays her head on my should when we went to the movies last sat. what is up with this girl grrrrrrrrrrrrr she just gets me so mad i just wish i knew what she thinking grrrrrr i love her i wish i knew if she still oved me i wish i knew why she is playing this "friend" game with me the whole situation kind of reminds me of the song "self asteam" the same reason that dude in the song takes her back is the same reason i jump to her every need when she calls the same reason i keep my phone on me hoping she calls. the whole situation is very confusing guys grrrrrrrrr so if this sounds jumbled its because im so confused well i guess thats it for now on this subject illl type more later on i just dont know what more to type now i wish mary jane could help me through this brake up but this is the one time i can't run to pot as a way of not being over wellmed damn probation officer and her piss test i need smiles guys i need kamrma i need something to make this guy happy and not worry about life so much cuz right nm at my wits end i have got to the point were i just sit in my roo mand shake i nthe couner waitinggfor her to call just so she can mess with me more i need help guys when she left she did npot only take my heart but my life i was so involed with her little did i know i made her life my friends are all gone cuz i spent all my time with her i am just lost just tell me how to go on you guys have helped me in the past with lifes chalages maybey someone knows what i gn through. I used to be arod alot more here on the city back in 03 dont know if you guys remember me but i was the creater of the Animal crackers thread (http://forum.grasscity.com/showthread.php?t=29928) well i peace fro now fellow friends ( i hope? hopfully the city does not turn its back on me like the world did)
Mmm, tough man...you have my sympathies, but if I were you I would just leave her and try to continue on with your life. And yes i know it's easier said than done.
Hey Toketillyachoke, good to see you back on the boards again! I remember ya! Love is a funny thing bud, we can find it in the least likely of places. Have you talked to her, explaining how you feel? You're a young dude, and trust me...you'll go through a few various relationships before you find the person you actually do want to be with. You mentioned that you "changed your whole life for this girl". That's not love mate, true love is accepting the other person on all their levels, and realizing that you don't need to "change" a person if you truely love them. My advice...move on my friend. If it's meant to be it will happen, that doesn't mean it has to happen right now does it? There are plenty of other fish in the sea, despite it not feeling like that right now. Keep your chin up.
ttyc, damn. I think the majority of us have been in this position. So you are in good company. If at all possible you need to try to not see her. I know it is hard, but you aren't getting over her by seeing her all the time. And the cuddling really has to end. She is playing games with you...and in a way that is not fair to you. She knows you love her, but what happens when someone new comes in her life? That person isn't going to be OK with you two going out all the time and cuddling. So I do think she will become very distant from you. Your best bet is to do it first. I'm not talking about start seeing other people, I'm just saying don't see her. If you don't have it in you to tell her in person, tell her on the phone or in an email. People say it is lame to do this in email, but they don't realize how painful this shit is. It is horrible. If you can make some other friends. I assume you have a lot of the same friends so new friends will keep you from running into her when you go out. Time is the only thing that is going to help. Well and maybe you should take up journaling. Start writing down your feelings every day. I was engaged a long time ago and we broke it off because he wanted a bunch of kids and I didn't. (It's just not in me.) That was the hardest thing for us to ever do. We were so in love and our relationship was great but we were on two different paths. I was very depressed. I didn't want to live with my depression so I started seeing a Therapist student at the local college. They have to see so many people before they can graduate and it's free! It really helped me a lot to talk to someone about it. Someone totally unbiased about my life. She was the one that got me to journalizing. I do not think anything the Therapist said made it go away, but with time and having someone to tell my deepest darkest feelings to did help. Our hearts go out to you man. Take care and please keep your chin up. I finally got married at the age of 29...(that was a year and 2 months ago) 7 years after the horrible breakup. I had some good and bad relationships in those 7 years. But now my life is so wonderful. I have faith that you will find someone that truly deserves you and your love! *group hug*
again indiana toker with more expert advice...lol. but it is not a time to joke. but i truly believe in fate. if it was meant to happen it would've. now it is time for you to listen to two songs. keep ya head up- 2pac...and wish you were here-pink floyd. these two songs have changed my life...so i think they can change yours. this thread has just again proved potheads are not bad people. you bring a problem us potheads try to help.
Hey man. Sorry about your situation. My advice would be to talk to her about the whole deal.. and see what she says. It sounds like she's just using you. You may thing you 'love' her, but like Indy said your young, and young people are always "in love". You should talk to her first, then if she doesn't want to be with you, its obvious she's using you and you should stop seeing her.
Hey, my sympathies go out to you man. From the sounds of it, it sounds like she's testing you, testing to see if you are a man, because at this point, it really seems like she's more of a 'man' in the relationship than you are. Don't let her control you! Don't ever give your happiness away for someone else! Be who you want to be, and don't let others ruin it. I know it will be hard to get detached from someone that you've spent so much of your energy on, but what you really need at this point is to give YOURSELF some space to think for yourself, instead of letting her think for you. It's painfully obvious that this relationship is gonna end in a very painful manner, so my best suggestion would be to keep your distance from her AT ALL COSTS! that way you're not whipped, and you have a clearer sense of reality, because right now it looks like you're really driven by your emotions, and really clouded in it. Control those emotions, and keep moving on with YOUR own life... it's your life dude, don't let others ruin it... with this in mind, u'll see that everything will turn out alright. You can't be in control of everything that happens, but you can control your emotions that normally drive you out of balance.
i feel your pain ttyc, a similiar situation happened to me. girls can be harsh man. but we know that first hand dont we? personally, i wouldn't talk to her anymore. once you have a relationship with someone and they break it off being friends doesn't help cope with the pain, it's just a tease and reminds you of what you once had. if she's making the moves and then bitching at you, dont let her do it. when she goes for your hand, pull away. when she starts putting her head down on your shoulder, stand up.. you get the point. if she asks whats the deal, say "hey, i'm just doing what YOU said i should do." it's hard to do and it'll make you feel bad, but letting it drag out will only prolong the agony.
The ironic thing is, knowing from previous experiences, doing what Skizool just said u should do in certain situations, that will usually get u back in the game, since the girl will usually respond positively to ur behavior in a sub-conscious level, something u call attraction. like i said, she's testing you (tho she doesn't know it, it's one of those primal responses from women that come sub-conciously), breaking you in a horrible manner to see if u are man enough, or just another guy she can control. it seems u're still in between, and u still have time to step ur foot down and start acting alpha male. don't tell her how you feel tho, that makes you look needy, behave like her wanting to be friends doesn't affect you, because after all, you shouldn't be affected. someday you'll get it. In reality, she still likes you, but the reason she tests you is because you're slipping, so now she is deciding whether to end the relationship, or keep up these little "games" up to give u a chance to prove yourself (if you're a true man). I hope that really helps bro
thanks every one for your adiviece i would not call my slef younge im 20 but hey i guess in reality it is younge i dotn know what im gonna do in this situation i think im just keep on going like i have been hanging out with her as "friends" and just let it be what it is 2 confused people holding hands and cuddle but calling them self friends i know it is not ver manly of me and im preety sure shes not testing me i take what i can get guys if she holds my hand ill take it its very unhealthy of me to do so but at least its something..............=(
Sit her down talk to her about her feelings for you, then ask her why she wants to just be friends. Then if everything goes smoothly ask her to take you back. If she says no id be like then I cant see you at all or something. Thats what id say.
My advice to you would be to just sit down with her and be like "Ok... so what the fuck is going on? We're like half going out." and explain that you don't want to just be her teddy bear. She might say "gee the reason I've been acting like this is cause I still have feelings for you" or she may just agree with the you being her teddy bear concept. If she says that she indeed is just trying to be cuddly friends with you and thats as far as it's gonna go, then move on from this girl man. You can stay her teddy bear if you can handle it and move on at the same time and you're ok with that. You know what I mean man? Best wishes.
I still love her guys but you know i just can't do it! when hanging otu with me she insited on tellling me about what happened when hanging otu with this guy on sat- <I>hung out with jon over the weekend he asked if i could kiss him one thing led to another and i gave him a bj.<I>Even thow in our realtionship of a yr and a half she stoped 4 months in to the realtionship because she said it was dirty when i questioned her of this, this was her resposne- <I>in our realtionship we were doing stuff like this to much and it made me want to do more then just that and i did not want to loose my V. But when ur with a firend it is diffrent you can call it that and not feall like u have to do more<I> Sound like a whore to me not the good girl i went out withbut why does she tell me this? told her yesterday we can't talk anymore because its no good for myself asteam and that i can't be hereing about her going out with other guys well guess who calls crying on the phone about 3hrs after i told her that i still care for her and love her but can't talk jen and shes crying and im like whats wrong she says that i can't just not talk to somone and that she can talk to me like no one else then she gos on and askes me if i could be mad at her so she would not feal bad that i wasn't talking to her so she basicly was asking of me to hate her so she would not feal bad for breaking my heart! But she still can't understand why i can't be her teddybear she still wants me to talk to her still wants me to hold her when no one else will but i just can't do it u know? i can't get over the fact shes with other guys its just not gonna work like she wants it to be Im sorry guys for always talkign about my love problems on this fourm and talkign about tripping on dxm im not smoking right now cuz of probation but i expect happyer post in the future once i get this whole big mess figgired out =(randy)=