HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! i just got my wisdom teeth pulled... and it hurts to laugh.. and all the rest ive been able to hold in.. but i almost fell on the floor when i read that
haha my tops would be once when I was getting a blowjob and my ex-gf told me it tasted like weed. I couldn't beleive her at first, but she said she was totally serious. And another time when we were having sex on a bunk bed with my friend asleep on the top. And in addition to trying to be quiet we slowly slide forward from the rocking motion and eventually she is quietly bumping her head on the bed post a couples times before we stop and silently snicker
Was fuckin this bitch I didn't even know and was gettin real aggressive and accidentally knocked one of her front teeth out with my shoulder. Basically I hit her chin so hard with my shoulder that her jaw snapped shut and f'd up her tooth. She was gone in the morning getting dental reconstructive surgery so I grabbed some mini bagels and some motha fuckin hummus from her fridge and then peaced.
i put a condom on backwards...it sucked me and my girlfriend were going to have sex like five times that day but that fuck up made it four times...
Not really a sex blooper but I remember fooling around with this chick in her room. We went from light foreplay on her bed to her lying naked on the floor. She wanted me to start fingering her so I did, and it was going good for awhile, she was getting into it more and more so I started getting more aggressive with my fingers. Anyway, she let out a big gasp and I felt warm liquid pour over my fingers, so I was thinking it's all good. Well... I take my fingers out and there is BLOOD covering them. It wasn't even light blood either, kinda really thick and slimy and shit. I didn't freak out or anything, I was just like flabbergasted. Her reaction and response are what made it classic though. She sees my fingers, and she says to me, "Is that bad?" My answer? "Wheres your bathroom?" The worst part is that when I came back from quarantining my hands, she jumps back on top of me, as if the mood wasn't totally killed. Turns out she only had sex like 3 times prior to me getting with her and the others guys didn't completely, uh, de-virginize her, so my fingers got the honor of doing the deed. I never saw the girl naked again, and I pretty much laughed it off, but I thought to myself it could have been worse: what if it was another part of my body that got the bloody surprise
Well, one time when I was eatin this girl out...I got the brilliant idea to blow. Well in doing so all of a sudden I see her pubic area(? Don't know if that's the right description) dome over. I was laughing so hard on the inside because in my mind, that was a sign of Mission Accomplish. Well whenever she sat up after realizing what just happened, the air came out and made a loud quief. Rofl! It was the funniest thing I have ever wittnessed. It was classic.
I didn't know my gf was on the rag, we had a root, I looked down and nearly shat myself. Seeing my cock all covered in blood made me think I mutilated myself somehow for a second or two before I realised where the blood came from lol.
Yeah it was. I would say try it just for some roflcopterz but don't do it to a chick you want to keep unless she is not easily embarrassed.
Kind of a blooper, mostly just something I said. I was over at an ex-girlfriends house, we hadn't seen each other in awhile, and hadn't had sex in about 9 months, she had turned into quite the slut since, so I was taking soem precautions and was using a condom. Her: Why are you using a condom? (we used to not use them) Me: Umm..because I don't know where you've been... After saying that she just told me to leave, haven't heard from her since...
Sorta like the way you would blow a balloon. You know that first big blow to get it started? Kinda like that.