Sex

I agree.

Perhaps it's just me of course - as it's all to easy when revealing these things to look at it from the point of principle, rather than the personal.

I tend to go through phases, and fortunately have had someone around me willing to let me to do so.

It's a process really; a way of finding a balance between what we are, and who we're becoming.

First the thought.

To see those that attract you is normal, but to take this feeling and make it into something more is a choice. So first comes the mental, the 'averting the eyes', so that the vibration of lust isn't experienced with anyone, especially those you haven't met. The idea of sex no longer fills the mind, as it does for many, and eventually is no longer something that pulls at all.

Then the partner.

To be with a person, but see her (or him) more as companion and friend, than sexual gratifier. So that the idea of sexuality loses its importance, or even its necessity, until a moment arises when something happens spontaneously perhaps.

But with the right partner, especially one who understands the need to investigate life from different aspects, there's no pressure to have to be anything that doesn't feel right.

Then the child.

Conscious union without self-gratification calls the child. In other words, the decision to become parents, becomes the predominant factor in sexual union. It is not simply decided that it's OK to have a child and when she gets pregnant she gets pregnant, so contraception is removed but the same activities take place. It must become a conscious act, which creates an opening, a call, to, as Tris stated:

What was interesting for me, was that in my case, even though I'd known her for some time, and we'd become very close, when we came together for the first time, it was the same time the child was called this way.

My partner was a little more conscious than me, and even though there was no noticeable physical change immediately, we'd soon discover she was pregnant. She'd wanted to take a very specific path even after this first occasion, and let go of the sex completely, as we'd used it for its highest purpose, to call our daughter, and from that point on, it was to be about preparing and raising her. It wasn't as clear to me that this was necessary, having felt the closeness of our intimate actions, and the desire to repeat it was strong. But in so many ways she was right. There are fundamental differences between spiritual man and spiritual woman.

 

Are you're saying that if you're sitting on a bus, for example, and the lady opposite you wearing a short skirt inadvertently opens her legs while reaching down to pick up her bag. You wouldn't feel a need to look away at the moment she reveals she's not wearing underwear, but keep looking? This has no effect on you (assuming you're a heterosexual), and you merely look at her without thought or feeling?

If that's so, and a great achievement, how does the average man reach this stage when he's still prone to be affected by such sights, without first choosing to avert his eyes? Doesn't he have to make a conscious decision not to be affected by her display by choosing not to experience it first, before he can learn to be present and not be affected by it?

I think I understand you, but then again, perhaps I do not.

 

Well, in a free society, she is entitled to dress how she wants to. She is not wearing a skirt around men, she is merely on a bus where all sorts of people happen to be. I used the term short, but in fact it could've been any length really. Making this about her, rather than about you, only reveals how you think.

Perhaps, but some women like to dress this way, for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps she should dress differently so as not to cause certain feelings to arise in some men, but she chooses to do it this way, because she is free to express herself HER way.

This is just a thought form - something you are imagining is happening because it makes you feel comfortable behaving this way. What you assume to be awakened may just be her feeling very uncomfortable at having you stare at her that way.

Are you hearing what you're saying? Are you understanding the judgment you're making about who she is and what she's doing? Can't you see you're attempting to project your values onto someone who doesn't need, want, to know what they are? Next you'll be telling me she should cover her whole body in a black sheet so as not to show any aspect of her femininity when she's out.

I have met several people from communities where they expect their women to dress this way. And you know what? Many men behave in a way that is very disrespectful to them. They have affairs with other women, they see 'whores', perhaps the wife is aware, perhaps not, but she is so oppressed that she will do nothing about it, as she goes about her life all covered up, lest another man might lust after her.

Instead of projecting your own sexual issues and judgments onto the woman on the bus, look at yourself. Ask yourself why you see her that way? Dressing like a 'whore', as you call her, is just another thought form. The clothes do not make her who she is - you do.

And while we're on the subject of prostitution. Nothing wrong with this whatsoever. Women perform a real service by offering men the opportunity to pay for sex. Nobody should be forced to do this, nor should they be made to feel like they have to hide themselves or be seen as criminals. The very people arresting them, prosecuting them, sitting in judgement on them, are the same people who, moments ago, were being satisfied by them.

Some people need them very much, others use them to satisfy urges that their partners aren't comfortable performing, while others, perhaps physically disabled, might never experience sex without them.

Overall message - DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE.

Apologies for the rant, but in this case, I feel it was necessary.

 

@ Androgenicx

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