Seriously, what the fuck?

He probably feels responsible for your new habit. Most people, especially parents, don't want to influence their kids in a way they may consider negative. Since it's clear from your statement that you've never talked to him about why he smokes weed, maybe you should ask him. Better yet, wait til you're in counseling and bring it up. You could even start by saying, "you know, I'd like to discuss something today..." then turn to you dad and ask him why he smokes marijuana. You could even go on to say you remember him smoking regularly when you were growing up, and admit to him that you know he still smokes. Then ask him what his concerns are about your usage. I'd be careful when questioning your father because if he's in a defensive mood, he might get angry or lie. I find that it's best to talk about your own usage first, to establish honesty and perhaps make your father respect you for manning up to your habit. This could even set the stage in a reverse psychology sort of way to pressure him into his own admission, because his son went first. If you're an adult, his opinion might not matter much anyways, but it sounds to me like he loves you enough to be concerned for you and counseling is probably the only way he knows how to talk to you, by having a mediator in the room.

A lot of men don't know how to talk to their sons, especially absent fathers. I remember when I was 14 and I asked my father what made him hit my mother when they were together. After years of being told by my mother that he was an abusive asshole, I got his side of the story. For the first time I heard that when my mother and father drank, my mother would attack my father and he would defend himself. Later, when I got older and drank around my mom, she started being pyhsically abusive to me and others, coming on to teenage friends, even stabbed me with a knife once. Drank with my dad a couple years later and like me, he was kick back and chill as hell. I discovered that my mother had projected the image of herself onto the memory of my father.

Point is, you never know til you ask. People seem to have a hard time being real with each other anymore, especially family members. Perhaps it's built up tension or just lack of communication skills but it's very important you decide where you stand with your family. You never know when something might happen and you might not get to ask all the things you wondered. ....this crazy life.


-peace