Seriously. SERIOUSLY? I QUIT!

Dudewithplants · Oct 10, 2019

DarkestTies said:

This is very long. I'm warning you in advance. Very, very long.

I feel a very deep-seated urge to share the tale of my many misfortunes. So you guys are my audience. Ready for this shit?

We'll start at the beginning. I was raised with money, and lots of it. It was never a concern for me. So while in college, I racked up a TON of credit card debt. My parents regularly paid it off for me. I was aceing my way through school and they had the cash; why wouldn't they? It was the agreement we had. I just had to do my best, and I did. 4.0 gpa, baby.

I happen to have health problems. Those were always taken care of without a second thought. Healthcare means nothing to the rich.

Suddenly, the cash flow stopped. They were paying my debt, but never paying it OFF anymore. All the while telling me not to worry about it. And I didn't. Why should I? I had no reason to doubt them, none whatsoever.

Next thing I know, my family is broke. Flat broke. *They never even warned me.* Just one day, poof, sorry kiddo, you're shit out of luck. The family business had gone under, and I'd had no idea.

My mother turned into a raging alcoholic.

She told us that she had cancer. She said that she could get state medical assistance as a single woman. My dad, doing what he thought was best, helped her move out. Physically and financially. On my birthday.

Then she told us that it was all a lie, there was no cancer. Get out, she never wanted to see us again. The divorce was long, messy, and bordering on the insane; I lost my mother during that time. She wanted nothing to do with me, and by the end of it, the feeling was mutual.

I couldn't afford to finish college. After all that work, and all that cash, I couldn't afford the medical school I'd gotten accepted into. And I absolutely could not find a loan or grant due to my parents' (and my) financial history.

I found a job almost instantly, and I was intelligent enough to drastically change my lifestyle. But I was already fucked. Over $14,000 in debt and flat broke. That's how my adult life started.

Then I met my absolutely wonderful wife. We had a child. She had her own debt from college; that brought our total combined debt up to around twenty grand.

Our son ended up needing intensive therapy for some developmental delays as he reached toddlerhood, and still goes to those therapies today.

Now, for the more recent stuff. The stuff below was about two years ago.

My wife, child, and I were living in NC with my father, trying to get on our feet to start our life together. Suddenly, we found ourselves homeless. My father flipped his lid, quite literally; he has since been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic suffering from PMDD from his years in the military. Basically he went insane, and ended up throwing us out on our asses, based on things that were so far from the truth that a total stranger would've diagnosed him as crazy after hearing his story. That is the short, drama-free version. It almost broke my little family of 3 to pieces; while I was at work one day, I got a call that my wife and child were basically on their way to PA to live. Without me. She'd called her parents to come get her.

I lost my father, my wife, and my child in one fell swoop, thanks to delusions.

I followed them three months later. My wife and I never broke up in between; but I didn't have the money to come up, much less actually acquire a place for us all to live once I got here. Those three months were taken so I could work my ass off and save money. We moved in with her parents in PA for a few weeks while we looked for our own place.

She already had a job, I got one almost immediately.

We got an apartment and a car. The car sucked; we sank money into it, then had it crushed as scrap metal a few months later. We lost tons of cash on our apartment as well. That story involves a shithead landlord and neighbors that are beyond any description that the english language would be capable of. We basically just threw money at the landlord to let us out of our lease and ran like hell.

We bought a trailer (mobile home). We bought another car. Despite everything, they were both PAID for. Ours. And decent! The car was a 2001 with under 100,000 miles, the trailer was fairly new with lots of upgrades.

Score! Our luck was turning around! Right?

Then I lost my job. Completely out of nowhere. I got off work at 5am; at 6am, my phone rang, and I was unemployed. Cutbacks.

I finally found another job, after months of looking. We caught back up on our bills.

I started to move my way up the ladder in the company I'm working for. For just a little while, it was all good.

We even got some tax money back. Sank over a grand into the car for tires, alignment, a new gas tank, and some other minor stuff. The rest went toward our debt.

Then my alternator went out. Car just straight up died while driving down the highway.

I had the alternator replaced. Really fucking expensive. I know I got ripped off, but I'd managed to coast myself off the exit and to this garage. They knew I was stuck unless I wanted to get towed; I paid it anyway because I figured it would cost just as much to tow it to another garage. I was in the middle of nowhere. Asshats.

The alternator they put in was crap. It died a few days later. I managed to get the car back to that same far-away garage on battery power alone; they replaced the bad alternator for free this time, after much bitching from me. Still, it was more days without a car. Giving people gas money for rides to work and shit, having to bum rides to get the car back, etc. Again.

About 2-3 weeks later, my furnace goes out. It's winter in PA, and it went out at 8pm on a Friday. I run to walmart for heaters; they last through the weekend, but barely. I stayed here to make sure the pipes didn't freeze and sent the wife and kid to her parents' for the weekend. I ended up replacing the ignitor and flame sensor. Not terribly expensive, but a major pain in the ass. The whole thing.

Soon, our washing machine breaks. We get a new one.

The furnace goes out again, just a few weeks later. I have to call someone this time, and they fix it.

Then our wall thermostat dies. I replace it.

Our GUI in the bathroom goes out. I replace that, too.

The furnace dies again. I replace the induction motor.

This is the most recent part of my post, and the inspiration for writing the whole thing to begin with. This starts about 2 months ago. Keep that in mind as you read. This is all within two months' time.

I got promoted, but there was some complication and the raise wasn't on my check.

My wife had her wisdom teeth removed. After 2 years of dicking with government healthcare, headaches, sinus problems, waiting lists, and bullshit, they finally came out. She wass out of work for a week, but we were both thrilled that the painful little bastards were gone.

The day after her surgery, while she was off work, I broke my hand. Broke 2 metacarpals, shattered a knuckle, and some small bone in my wrist. I go into a cast, and am off work myself. I apply for temporary disability and am given the major run-around about my medical records. It's pending.

My wife went into overtime mode. Picked up shifts and worked herself half to death. We were still sinking financially.

A water pipe under my house burst. Major flood underneath, including insulation and such. Got all of that fixed for amazingly cheap, but it was still more than we had.

A few days later, our toilet started leaking. I replaced it. More cash spent, and not a fun activity with a broken hand, let me tell you.

A week later (yes, one week), we had a close friend come over to watch our son so we could have some much-needed adult time away. We were only gone for a few hours, and during that time, she gave my son (and her own son) a bath. We got home, said our thanks, all hung out for a while, and they went home.

My wife goes down the hallway to take a shower, and leaves soggy, wet footprints. She made it all the way into the bathroom before figuring out why, and then she screamed. I went running in after her.

Yep, you guessed it. The tub flooded, the water was still on. We figured out later that the water had been running for two and a half hours.

We rip up the carpet and padding and suck up everything we can with our shopvac and steam cleaner. It's useless, and we know it, but we do it anyway. We opened the windows, set up fans, pulled the skirting off so it could dry underneath, all that jazz.

The friend blames our son. We, obviously, blame her. He is FIVE! Who the fuck leaves a developmentally delayed five year old in the tub alone? You were responsible! The babysitting adult! You were damned lucky that nothing happened to my kid, or I would've killed you.

We stopped speaking since there was no talking sense into her. We contacted a lawyer about suing for damages. She is on disability, and according to our lawyer, even if we were to win a case, we couldn't touch that money. They won't garnish SSI. So we didn't bother. Why pay a lawyer for nothing, to win for nothing?

We resign ourselves to the fact that we had to have it fixed ourselves. I couldn't do it; even with two good hands, this was way beyond my capability.

I went back to the ortho and basically told him that if he didn't take the cast off early, I would. He took it off and I immediately drove to work to see the head of HR and get back to work, despite warnings from the doctor about permanent damage.

The doctor called my place of employment minutes before I got there. I was still out of work for two weeks, cast or no cast.

At that point, I called the disability company and flipped. I was promised results. Again.

After the two weeks, I finally got to go back to work. They'd had a meeting while I was on medical leave; they're either going to shut my plant down, or move it an hour away. I may be unemployed and starting over, again. After working so damn hard to make something of myself with this company.

My first check sucked; they took all of the owed benefits out at once. Health insurance and such. We were still barely eating (the adults, of course).

My wife's mother made plans with us back in FEBRUARY to watch our son for a weekend next month. We've never had an adult vacation, and we'd already paid for it, so we were excited. Through all of this shit, it was our light at the end of the tunnel. You know what I mean? It was gonna be great, just the two of us.

Then her mom bailed on us. Not for any good reason; she wants to party that weekend instead. After a shitton of fighting, we gave up. I called the hotel and got our deposit back, but we're still out almost $200 because of the other plans we'd made, and they stopped giving refunds *3 days* before I called. If I'd just given up instead of fighting with her about babysitting, I could've gotten all of the money back. Thankfully my boss was extremely understanding when I suddenly cancelled my vacation.

I got my property tax, school tax, and water bills on the same day. After two giant water leaks, you can imagine what that bill looked like.

My next check from work finally has SOME of my disability on it. I pay the things that are the most urgent and then call someone to come fix my damned house.

Let me go on to explain the extent of this damage to you. My wife and I got up one morning and couldn't open our bedroom door; that entire wall had sagged far enough that none of the (three) doors on it would open. I finally managed to break (yes, break) it open and get her to work, late. There was a six-inch gap between the floor and my bathtub. My waterheater was leaning. My new toilet was about to tip over. Can you picture the state of my home?

The guy was here today to fix my floor. It looked absolutely wonderful! It was a great day. He even managed to (mostly) level out the damaged wall.

It may have been bare wood, but dammit, we had a floor! We were almost caught up on the bills! We were absolutely thrilled. The repair was even less than the guy had given us an estimate for.

So we decided to go out to dinner. Sort of a celebration, just to finally relax. Spend a tiny bit of money on ourselves. I even splurged and bought some salvia for later because I'd been wanting to try it.

We had a good time. We got home. I flicked the light switch...nothing happened. Huh, bulb burned out. Try another light. Nothing. Another one. Nothing.

Oh. Fuck.

The lights worked when we left. There is absolutely no way that this is connected to the repairs done on the floor. There's no wiring there, anyway.

The back half of our house seems to be okay, both bathrooms and the bedroom. The front, however, is a mystery; no overhead lights work, and SOME outlets work. I don't mean in some rooms, I really mean some of them. This one works, that one doesn't, this one does. *On the same wall, in the same room.*

I lost my shit. I mean I absolutely lost it. Screaming, yelling, stomping, basically throwing a temper tantrum. If my hand didn't still hurt, I would've put my fist through something nearby.

It was now about 8:30 pm. I calmed down and called the repair guy again anyway, and he actually answered. He was confused too and promised I'd be his first stop in the morning, even though I assured him that I didn't believe he'd damaged anything.

I pray that the rest of my disability money comes soon. Otherwise, I'm fucked. Oh, and that raise I had trouble getting? I still haven't gotten it. Every week, some boss even higher up the ladder tells me, "It'll be on this check, along with the backpay." Which doesn't help the fact that my disability was based off of the wrong wage.

My wife doesn't drive; she has panic attacks in cars. That means I work third shift, twelve hour shifts, and am responsible for all family transport. I get home from work, take my wife to work, take my kid to therapy, bring him home, nap, pick up my wife, MAYBE nap again, and go back to work. That's basically my life right now until my son starts school. Then we'll have to stop his therapy, and he'll ride the bus. I look forward to the sleep while he's at school. Right now, if I get six hours of combined sleep a day, it's a lot. Usually it's closer to three or four hours.

Point is, if you think everything here sounds bad, try doing it while being perpetually sleep deprived and exhausted.

I don't know what to do. I am a grown man, and I'm ready to cry. I'm a good guy, I'm a damn hard worker, I'm a good father and a good husband and a good friend. Why is this my life? Why do I work and work and work and get nothing?

My health is shit, I can't really afford the only thing that makes me feel better (pot), I have no parents to speak of, my house and car are falling apart, I'm in debt up to my eyeballs, and I find out on the 8th of September whether or not I'll have a job by next summer. My birthday is the 6th.

I mean, seriously? Really? What horrible fucking things did I do in some past life to deserve this? Why can't I get one tiny little break? I don't want a hand out, I don't want a hand up, I just want my own hard work to get me somewhere. I just want one tiny little fucking break.

That's it. That's all. This is the condensed version of my tale, and there's no great epiphany at the end. Thanks for reading, and I apologize for anything that I missed or that doesn't make sense. I'm still..upset.

I'm not sure I should post this, as there's really no point. But I'm doing it anyway. I have to put this shit somewhere, or it's going to crush me.

Thanks for listening. I'm going to smoke a bowl, then go to bed and hope that whatever wiring has shorted out doesn't catch fire.
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Hey man so if you don’t mind my asking where do you stand today? Like a whole ten years later where are you?

GorillaGherkin · Oct 10, 2019

DarkestTies said:

And sitting here reading it again, there was even stuff that I forgot. Like being up on my roof just last week to patch it. And the crazy moocher 'buddy' that moved in for a while.

It sounds like I made the whole thing up. I swear I didn't. :/
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Did the moocher fuck ur wife while he was livin with ya?

vid00d2 · Oct 15, 2019

I don't know if anyone has pointed this out, but this story is like a textbook example of downward social mobility. The guy starts off life being able to spend and spend and have unlimited funds. Years later, he has to work twelve hour shifts to barely make ends meet. This story is the stuff of serious literature.

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Seriously. SERIOUSLY? I QUIT!

Dudewithplants Member

GorillaGherkin Goin ballz deep bitch

vid00d2 Registered User

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Seriously. SERIOUSLY? I QUIT!

Dudewithplants Member

GorillaGherkin Goin ballz deep bitch

vid00d2 Registered User

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