First, this turned a bit longer than I hoped...I wish people had the patience to read more than two medium sized paragraphs. It's really not that long, but more than that and people say 'tl;dr.' I'm gonna go ahead and say that's why meaningful and substantial conversations are so rare...anywho, if anyone does have some patience and interest... I'm in a strange place right now, spiritually. My first path that I seriously pursued was serious biblical literalism/fundamentalism. This eventually led me to nearly convert to orthodox judaism, from Christianity as the starting point, with the plan of probably moving to Israel. Eventually, I decided I couldn't follow through with it. If anyone knows anything about orthodox judaism, you know what a serious commitment it is. Needless to say, my abandoning this path left me shaken, lost, confused. I floated without any real ideology for a while. I didn't know where to go. Eventually, I began going down a path we may as well call esoteric/mystical/eastern. Non-duality, world created by mind, etc. I came into and through this path primarily through contemplation, though I no doubt received inspiration from various writings. In that journey, I had many unbelievable experiences, incredible, that seemed to show the truth of what I was saying. I developed extreme confidence that this was the way things worked, and this all also coincided with beliefs about changes that were happening or going to happen to the world. Eventually, the experiences diminished, my sense of spirituality declined massively, and my confidence in my theories greatly diminished as well. Not that I took or have taken the opposing position, that it is NOT true, I just...don't know anymore. I'm in a strange place, where I honestly don't know what to think about much of anything, especially spirituality. One thing has been changing, though. I am developing a spiritual yearning. This yearning is more reminiscent of my religious path than my mystical one, where I yearned to have God reveal himself to me, let me experience him, show me I was on the right path. Being turned off by much 'mystical' talk, it beginning to sound insincere and repetitive, my focus has been turning towards God. I don't care to justify my choice of the word God, though I would prefer not to have typical theistic associations projected onto me. A sort of yearning towards Christ has been developing as well, though I do not know exactly what I mean when I say christ, as typically interpreted Christian dogma seems quite meaningless to me. Though I feel some connection to Christ, I also feel a connection to Jewish ideas of God. So what am I saying? I don't know, I guess. I haven't known where to look, spiritually. The closest thing towards spiritual direction I have felt is trying to expand my faith in God, to see feel and understand him behind the Universe. I have this thought that keeps popping up that I would like to read the bible again. While I have some, it has been difficult for me to pursue this, as I have a fear that there is little to no profound truth to be found hidden within, beyond that which can be extracted from an understanding of a basic outline of some major biblical events surrounding the story of Jesus. I try again and again to find writings on 'mysticism in the bible.' But I find myself let down, as these people don't seem to really care about what the bible says, beyond using it as a canvas to paint their own ideology onto. Plus, there is usually little to no profundity...just the claim that biblical verses actually refer to mystical experiences. I would love profound mystical teachings that go along with actually taking the bible seriously...does it exist? Is it worth trying to find myself? I guess my 'fear' of jumping into it is the fact that when I used to read the bible, I would do it all day everyday...seriously, hours and hours on end. I fear commiting myself and finding nothing of value. Anywho, if anyone has any input at all, it would be appreciated.
I'm guessing you want suggestions or advice of some sort. All I can share is my own personal opinions/experience which is that the most rewarding path is spiritualism without deities/mysticism. It's rewarding, more concrete, humbling, and very liberating. It's close to Eastern religions without the religious nonsense. Good luck man.
The feeling i get from reading your words is that rather than being lost, you have lost things, let go of things, that you no longer needed. That yearning you mention is a good thing, for it puts out a 'call' to be answered. In its own time of course. I still get the feeling, and perhaps that is just how we all are when young, that you want to see, feel, get, something back sooner rather than later, preferably now. It could be that this gets in the way somewhat, as it puts conditions, expectations, onto what should happen and when. The thing I like the most about what you said is that you don't know anymore. That is a good place to walk forward from. Hold that, feel that, accept that, and just be open to whatever comes along. Your journey, your paths, so far, have not been wasted. Sometimes we spend so much time trying to find where we need to go, that we don't notice that we're already where we need to be.
Thanks monk And esseff. Yes, I am glad that I am feeling this yearning. Just that yearning feels spiritual to me, as it is related to a sense of awe towards the greatness of what exists or could be discovered. Just keeping God in mind seems to be a spiritual practice, a sort of mindfulness. The not knowing is funny. In my lowest spiritual points, I felt this not knowing, and it felt very negative. And yet I could recall in my highest spiritual point, speaking often about how un-knowing was the way. This paradox is very interesting. Going forward, I suppose not knowing is a good foundation, as you say, but in the sense of an empty cup waiting to be filled. Not knowing, but being open, and holding onto that excitement or desire for illumination of one form or another. I haven't been able to see what could possibly lie ahead for me spiritually. This has seemed negative, but again it is paradoxical. It means that something new, perhaps something I hadn't even considered, may well pop up. That newness itself is exciting. Just the apparent paradox of simultaneously considering mysticism and biblical teachings helps to create an openness, a sense of having no foundation or no commitment to any sort of ideology.
reading this made me feel so good to feel other people awakening. I feel what u feel. kind of like you were meant for something big but don't know what. like somethings wrong with everything. Jesus recently found me you can say. I know I sound crazy but u swear I felt him. you really start seeing when you ask him to show you the way. I know it sounds so corny to ask someone who you are confused about for help, but it worked on me. one day I genuinely asked for a sign. I was depressed and lost. lost lost. and ever since, he blaintly put signs in my face ever since. it's almost scary. then i started seeing signs he had already put there for me to see, that I was just to blind to see. if I told u the stories you would be mind blown. as for the bible, yes it's real. yes some has been tampered with, but most of it is accurate or we would have a bunch of copies to prove it's been rewritten. it's just the context it's put it. for your lost feelings go to youtube and type in illuminati. watch a couple of videos till u see the examples they show u of how EVERYTHING we see is a manipulation to stray you from Jesus. the feeling you have is Jesus calling for you to wake the fuck up. excuse my French. lol. we are in a matrix ( which by the way is real. and was a cia program that we amaricans put billions of dollars into without knowing.) and need to wake up. hope this helps just a little. I have a facebook with plenty of information. keep you spirits up and keep the faith. den_mag2005@[member="yahoo"].com
How do you know it was Jesus giving you these signs. Unless he appeared and told you directly (not that you would still know since nobody knows what Jesus looked like) it could be possible it's Satan, or another god people worship, a god nobody knows about, or perhaps some other form of power in the universe. You want to believe it is Jesus and therefore have convinced yourself it is true. If you want to talk about "awakening" you shouldn't automatically assume something you are experiencing is related to the religion you are most familiar with.
well that's the thing I had no belief system. never read the bible. the signs that have been put there have been huge and I just know. I see a lot of stuff I have would never have seen before. I was blind but I even felt saved. I'm starting to understand that's what faith is. it's not having to have proof of how u feel, as long as you believe. life and death is about learning that as long as u believe nothing can truly take destroy u. the only way I'm going to to know is ask whoever tries to deceive me first where Jesus is in their life. if Jesus is not the almighty powerful god, then I will not listen.
That is the opposite of "awakened." You have become nothing more than a close-minded fundamentalist creationist. OP, I know you have some belief in there, but this is one opinion I would avoid if I were you. No offense den.
that's the great but scary part. very soon our faiths will be put to the test. Christ died at the cross to prove to us, we have to have faith. those who follow the wrong path will see in the end, and god will accept them with open arms,after and only after u accept Jesus Christ. one time only tho. for the celebs who have sold their souls I'm not sure. I pray for then tho. either way during the tribulation WE HAVE TO STICK together. love respect and help each other. we will be all that we have.
All of Eastern thought is in rooted in the ideology of the sole monisitic source, i.e., God. Religion of the Divine is manipulated by man, but, that doesn't make it false or wrong (that would be a fallacy); just like the abuse of police force shouldn't deteriorate the idea of 'public servants'. Monotheism is the oldest religion; and all ideologies are rooted in, and related to (whether directly or indirectly), the esoteric knowledge of this Unmanifest monad of Unity, i.e., necessary Being ("reality" in-and-of-itself).
The idea of a 'SUPREME Being' (or the One monad) was not an invention of Christianity. No 'being' is "greater" than the single necessary Being, precisely because it is supreme. 'Amun-ra' is not an invention of Christianity, neither is 'Allah', and the 'Great Spirit' definitely isn't either; not even 'Shangdi'. Nor, 'Isvara Brahman'. No tangible and physical "object" can 'cause' or impart the impression of such a being.. finitude can only conceive of the infinite - and not empirically probe it. It's all in the infinite mind.. where you stop, it only begins (supremacy goes on for infinite degrees - Aquinas). It's like running on a treadmill, in place, eternally. So, you'll never catch what you're trying to reach (the end of the mental sequence of supremacy), for it's inside of you (only in potential), and not outside of you (amidst tangible actuality). The eternal Supreme is "where" you, as tangible body, i.e., an "object", are not. The problem is, you (RM) demand that we must envision a tangible end to the sequence, in order for it to be 'real' (YOU are the one demanding and imposing such a contradictory and superfluous limitation - which is quite 'human' of you). But, like I said, where you stop, mentally, "it" only begins. For, it's not outside of you amidst tangible actuality, but inside of you subsisting within intangible potential. "God is not like a human being; it is not important for God to have visible evidence so that he can see if his cause has been victorious or not; he sees in secret just as well. Moreover, it is so far from being the case that you should help God to learn anew that it is rather he who will help you to learn anew, so that you are weaned from the worldly point of view that insists on visible evidence. A decision in the external sphere is what Abraham's religion does not want; rather it wants to test the individual's faith." - 'Faith' in the potential of what's "beyond"; and 'trust' in the Sole Being who is in possession of this eternal and undifferentiated potential. (Most tend to observe and demand that we look at what 'is' outside of ourselves, rather, we must look back into what's looking out in the first place - and most cannot be weaned from this biasedly human perspective)
It really is.. from time immemorial, the Ancient wisdom of the sages' was inextricably rooted in the knowledge of the One necessary Being, i.e., the single source. Buddhism is rooted in Hinduism, i.e., the Vedas; even if Buddha PERSONALLY denied a Creator, that doesn't mean his whole ideology isn't a total dependent reaction reflecting such notions (of mind, Creator, mysticism, etc.). "God has no image. - Yajur Veda" "Verily He is one Single, indivisible, supreme reality. - Atharva Veda" "He is the sole sovereign Of the universe. - Rig Veda" "He is one, unparalleled Through His wondrous, mighty And formidable laws and deeds. - Rig Veda" "There is only One Who ought to be adored By the people. - Atharva Veda" 'He, the all-pervasive Pervades all beings Within and without. - Yajur Veda"
Remain pure and autonomous; trust in the Creator regardless of the circumstances, and you will see your due, brethren.
Yes but you said all of Eastern thought, not just Buddhism. And the oldest religions were not monotheistic.