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Self-Medicating… How can I make my non-smoker husband understand?

Discussion in 'Medical Marijuana Usage and Applications' started by DirtyAngel, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. I do not live in a MMJ state, yet.

    I have been smoking sense I was 16 but only once in a while hear and there. I started smoking everyday when I was 18 after being a waitress for 2 years with a very bad right shoulder and it got to the point where every night when I would get home from work it would be aching so badly I could not fall asleep. I started smoking when I got home and it magically took all the pain away and I fell asleep easily. Tylenol would not work nor would aspirin, so I kept doing what did work. Eventually even it stopped working as well and I had to quit my waitress job for good due to shoulder pain.

    That was 7 years ago. Since then I have had many more problems with my shoulder, knees, hips, back and ankles, I have been diagnosed with carpel tunnel and rheumatoid arthritis. I have also been put on mild anti-dispersants and anti-anxiety medication. I have a very hard time taking pills, it is not the swallowing of them it self but the remembering to take them everyday and staying on a regimen part of it that I have not been able to do. I have never stayed on any of the medications prescribed to me for more then a 3 month period but even in that short time I have never felt like I was benefiting from them and I never saw any changes.

    I have been an everyday smoker for 10 years now and my husband hates it. He calls me a dope head and even a junkie, he had even threatened to leave me because of it. The most ironic thing about this situation is that my husband is also my ex-boyfriend from when I was 16 and he is the one who got me started smoking in the first place. He has since grown out of it I guess (he had a bad experience with smoking something that he did not know was laced and gets all weird and paranoid when he smokes now) and says he does not want to be with someone who just smokes all day.

    I do not smoke all day, some days I smoke more than others and someday I wake and bake and someday I just hit a bowl a few times and them go on with my day not to smoke again until way later in the evenings. But to him it is all day everyday and I can see how he can view it like that. I have tried to quit, both before him and after him and I have not been able to come close. I have gone for a few days but after about 2 I get very depressed and quick to cry. I also feel the arthritis in my hands much more so and that is very hard because use a computer for a living and am typing most of the day. He says that I am just addicted to the drug and that once it got out of my system I would feel better and those symptoms would go away. I know that part of that is NOT true but I also have wondered if some of it was being that I have been a daily smoker for 10 years what do I have to compare it too? Well in July I quit for a whole month. I was actually quite proud of myself as that is something I never thought I could do. But things did not go away after a month, I was in more paid then usual and I was very emotional all the time, would cry at the drop of a hat or a sad cat food commercial. I thought I was suppose to feel better, being “sober” and all but really I just felt like that whole “sober” think was highly over rated.

    I really do feel like I would be a shoe in for a MMJ prescription with out lying or seeing a lenient doctor and I have come to realize that what I have been doing for many years and what I am certainly doing now is self-medicating. I am well aware that self-medicating is usually not the best thing to do but on the other hand under the care of a non MMJ prescribing doctor I would be on at least 3 different mental medications and 4 pills for my physical conditions. That is at least 7 pills a day! I take 0 but I smoke about a 1/8 to a ¼ per day often less, every once in a while more. My husband is not a Dr. how can he tell me that these pills are better for me than weed? What is the difference really? I feel a lot safer smoking the weed than taking the pills to be honest.

    Who made these pills? Men. Who made Marijuana? The Gods! Who do you trust more?

    To be fair to my husband I must give a few more details about my current use:
    I smoke 1/8 to a ¼ per day (of what could be called regular, nothing fancy or high dollar) and I smoke mostly in cigarillos (mini blunts). I also cough a lot in the mornings when waking up especially when I have smoked a lot the night before sometimes to the point where I puke from coughing so had (yes I know that is not sexy) and I have a friend that comes over most nights and smokes with me so combined we have been known to smoke between 1 and 6 blunts (cigarillos) between the two of us. I do understand that it is in excess sometimes but I have built up a high tolerance and sometimes I feel like I need more than other times. I also use excuses like us fighting or me being upset to smoke more.

    He really is sick of it and I am afraid he is going to leave me, I have been smoking like this the entire time we got together and he was well aware of it when he got back together with me and when we got married but I did promise to drastically cut down and I have not.

    How can I make him understand that it is not just because I am addicted but because I think it is better for me than taking a lot of pills and it helps me function. I am not a dead beat I work everyday (and I mean every single day) I have even completely financially supported him for the last 10 months since he quit his job so it is not like I smoke all day and do not do anything.

    Please help and give me some advice other than leave him or quit smoking as both of those things are out of the question.
  2. If you're in a state that recognizes mmj, then by all means, pursue relief...Medical Marijuana will give you far better results for your condition then what you can find elsewhere.
    Here's a short testimonial that you might be interested in by a lady named Shona Banda called Live Free or Die [ame=]YouTube - Shona Banda - Live Free or Die[/ame]
    Hope it helps.
  3. May I suggest several things, no none of them are quit or leave, because I myself do not believe that would be an option for me either.

    First as to the coughing, might I suggest you start using a bong if not a vaporizer (these are expensive so I understand not having one.) Both of these will give you a great reduction in the coughing episodes and are much much healthier for you. Just remember to empty the bong daily if possible and clean it with rubbing alcohol and salt frequently and you'll have no foul odor around it.

    Secondly, offer an open honest dialogue with your husband. Breath and be calm and make sure that you do not react in anger or turn it into a fight, ensure he does the same. Ask him to please clearly explain his concerns, ask him to show you supporting documents (the interwebs is great for this.) Make sure you explain your side clearly, calmly and deliberately provide him the same supporting information you ask for. Ask if he might be willing to watch The Union: The business behind getting high. The Union

    And finally I do encourage you to get your medical card, it makes things so much safer. This may be one of his concerns, even if he's not willing to voice it.

    I wish you the best of luck with this very difficult situation. I know that I would be devastated if my husband offered me that ultimatum.

  4. Smoking is a poor way to medicate for pain. I take Rick Simpson's Hemp Oil - it is the real deal. You would not even want or need to smoke.

  5. I second switching to a vape and seeing if that helps. You can get an ok one for around $100 (Magic-Flight Launch Box is one.. cheap AND portable). You can get really good ones relatively cheap on eBay too if you look hard enough. I got a Vtower Extreme for under $200 and I love it.

    In terms of educating him, just do some research online about medical MJ arguments and possibly some negative points in regards to the pills. And again, i second making him watch the Union with you. If it could get me to convince my parents, it should be able to help in your case.

    Good luck, and hopefully it all works out.
  6. Definately get your card. :wave:

    The above posters have hit it right; Vape, edibles, or oil.
    Some oil tinctures are very good applied as a rub to your sore spots. The pain melts away and you don't even get a buzz.
    Check out the edible section right here on the City.

    Incredible, Edible Herb - Forums
  7. I know exactly what you're going through. My wife was VERY much against me using cannabis for my pain. My doctors put me on OxyContin and I went through hell trying to quit. I think my wife seeing me go through all that finally realized that prescription drugs aren't always the best.

    Try finding out what exactly about marijuana your husband doesn't like. My wife hated the idea of me smoking. I agreed not to smoke around her or the kids. I use a tincture most of the time now. She doesn't see me use it and most times can't even tell when I've used it.

    Be sure to let him know how much safer cannabis is than prescription and even over-the-counter drugs. More people die from Tylenol every year then have ever died from cannabis. There's lots of links and info on these boards about the benefits and safety of cannabis.

    Good luck!
  8. It doesn't sound like the marijuana usage itself is the problem. It's sounds like it's almost your coping tool. You mentioned that you see fights between you and your husband as an excuse to smoke more. It shouldn't be that way. Yes, it's true that there are little-to-no physical addiction symptoms from cannabis use but there can be mental dependence. Whether it be painkillers, cannabis, or stimulants, you shouldn't be using a substance as a way to deal with your life or parts of it. That's why, in my opinion, you feel shitty when you don't smoke. It's not physical withdrawal, it's a mental desire for it.

    If I were in your situation, this is what I would I do. First, I would stop smoking all together and cnsider other methods like edibles, vaporization, or oils/tinctures. It sounds like you husband is upset that you spend so much time and effort with the ritual of smoking. These methods of consumption would solve that problem. If you're using cannabis for medical reasons like you say, the switch shouldn't be an issue for you. You won't need to use it as often because eating it is longer acting. If your husband still had a problem with that, I'd try to either educate him a bit to show that it isn't very harmful or compromise and use weed in conjunction with low doses of whichever prescription medication your doctor thinks would be best. (I hope you're seeing a doctor about your symptoms regardless of using cannabis or medication)
  9. I definitely sympathize with you, rheumatoid arthritis is rough its pretty shitty of him to not be understanding.

    An 1/8th to a 1/4 a day is pretty excessive though. Puking from coughing in the morning? Probably from all those blunts.. if you're trying to medicate smoking 3.5-7 grams in tobacco wraps everyday is definitely NOT the way to go....

    Instead of smoking ridiculous amounts of mids just buy a vape and get high quality weed. Smoke a gram or 2 a day at most, I've been smoking for 6 years daily and I still rarely go through more than a gram in a day (medicating with my vape and glass), your tolerance won't act the same if you smoke good shit.
  10. I vote for vape, if needed drop $100 on a Magic Flight Launch Box

    Hey, it's not viral if the product works, and I love it.
  11. Thank you for the advice guys, I am going to check out that Movie The Union as i have never heard of it before and it sounds like it might be helpful. Also I have known about vape and it seems I really need to try that out. I do agree that the amount I smoke is excessive and that is a lot of his problem, also coughing that much can not be healthy I know, So maybe after playing that movie for him and making some compromises about how I use the stuff could help.

    Thank you VT_killah for bringing up the fact that rheumatoid arthritis is rough, No he does not understand but in reality no one I know really understands, I am only 27 years old and when people look at me they see a young healthy woman, No one understands that I feel like I am about 90. Last winter we went with out a car for a couple months (we live in Minnesota!) and I would not leave the house, my husband called me lazy and a baby and told me I was born in MN I should be used to the cold by now. What I tried to explain to him was that the 10 ton 20 minutes I would spend waiting at the buss stop was not the issues, when he gets inside he warms up. I do not just warm up and sometimes I go on feeling the stiffness and pain in my joints and especially hands for hours even days. He thinks I am just being melodramatic. It is so hard because I do not want him to see me as a frail old woman either and I always try to get what ever I have to do done regardless of the pain, I do not want to be seen as weak but I want him to understand that I am not being a baby or using it to get out of doing things. It is a hard balance that makes me a little mad sometimes, I know that if her were in the pain that I am on a daily basis he would be in bed acting like a total baby.

    I am Also aware of the fact that what sbrown said is completely right I have also been using as a coping mechanism but sometimes I feel like a lot of other people use a lot worse things like alcohol and drugs. If I were taking the pills prescribed for me that would be about the time I am suppose to take an anxiety pill or 4! (Yes I am suppose to take up to 4, 25 mg pills at a time as needed for anxiety) Is not that a coping maximizing too? I know you are right in what you say but I feel that taking those pills as needed for anxiety is no different then smoking an extra blunt or 2. I can pop a few pills or smoke a blunt but either way I am using some outside mind altering substance to cope with life. Maybe not the best situation but the lesser of the two evils in my opinion.

    One again thank you for the advice and help I am still open to any more suggestions if anyone has them but I think that you guys have been very helpful already and hopefully I have get my husband to understand my side of things with the information you have given me.
  12. #12 DirtyAngel, Sep 25, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2010
    As I mentioned before, I have been supporting my husband for the last 10 months since he quit his job. Sometimes I feels like who is he to question me about my smoking? I pay all of our family's needs. Who is he to question me about my pot usage when I am the one who pays our way in life. Obviously my use has not stopped me from being able to do that. Am I wrong for feeling this way? He gets very mad when I take that tone and feels like it is not right that he sould have any less of a equal say in our family because he is not fiancially contributing (he takes care of the house mosly and cooks and has been looking for work) and I agree with that compleatly still I can not help feeling that way when he starts really ragging me on the weed issue. If he had been working would it make anything different? Sometimes I feel like how dare he even say anything to me about it and sometimes I know that that is the wrong way of thinking…. Opinions?
  13. You would probably smoke less if you stopped smoking blunts. It's not exactly conservative or healthy. My father smoked cigarettes like a goddamn chimney and would be hacking all morning.

    I just think you'd have an easier time convincing your husband if you could cut down consumption (and therefore cost as well, not to mention the cost of wraps!!) and if you weren't hacking every morning from the sheer amount of tobacco you inhale everyday.

    Even if you don't invest in a vape right away a glass piece would probably do wonders for you lungs and wallet. I know you say you're supporting him, but imagine if you could have even more money to show for it. It couldn't hurt right?

    Not to mention edibles and topical solutions, which would probably be the best for the pain.
  14. I would suggest getting a good vaporizer. It would help A LOT with waking coughing adn everything. Also your husband may like it better cause its a lot more healthier and the house will smell less and be less Smokey.
  15. #15 Atonofclay, Sep 25, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2010
    In retaliation to ALL negative people:
    I love how you always seem to be the "bearer of BAD and HORRIBLE news" when it comes down to humans, huh sbrown?

    Don't tell anyone but yourself what to do, OK.

    Here's the SCIENCE of Cannabis, since your pointing the negatives in all corners.

    1. THC influences your ENDORPHIN receptors, which are your bodies NATURAL pain/stress killer. They are, in reality, your bodies never-ending supply of pot, or pills if YOU *sbrown* so enjoy them.
    2. Your mentality does play a role in your usage, but that depends on how you are or have been thinking for the past hour or even day.
    3. Dependency isn't the first step in addiction. (as someone may have wanted to point out uneducated, or misinformed since I can guarantee that sbrown hasn't been on both sides of the pot world).
    4. Laughing, Exercise, Talking, SEX, and even simple singing can jump your endorphins to uncontrollable levels of HAPPINESS. Cannabis is a all natural intoxicant, not a narcotic.
    5. When it comes down to using your Cannabis, DirtyAngel, just remember what I do. One bowl a week at the least, and then, and only then, use as needed once your natural tolerance builders start working.

    sbrown probably doesn't care to tell anyone the simple fact that Cannabis has been made to touch on all corners of ever human ailment. People who find no other way out of smoking to help them fall under the "Lessen" category, where, as stated in Alice in Wonderland, "As we learn our new lessons, they slowly Lessen.", or something like that.
    It means that Cannabis is already making itself weaker to those who try to smoke everyday, all day, more than a GRAM a day.

    Don't get down if your boyfriend doesn't get the whole "Cannabis over Pills" thing, he's probably drinking more than the DAILY RECOMMENDED DOSE OF CAFFEINE, which is 2 cups, not two pots.

    sbrown hasn't been in both worlds to talk, so please, trust in your self-control to tell you when it is a good time to medicate yourself. I can guarantee that you'll stop your smoking regimen fully, and with no HARMFUL AND BAD WITHDRAWL SIDE-EFFECTS, once you can go 3 whole days apart from each medicating period. Your body uses Cannabis like a train ticket; don't get back on an old bus because you like who's on there, or because the in-flight movie just got good. There are better times to ride the "Baked Train" then all the time. Plus, you don't want the bus driver to tell YOU when to get off; your medication tells you when to wait till next time.
  16. #16 sbrown, Sep 25, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2010
    Umm, why are you flying off the handle and raging at me? I think you should heed your own advice and medicate (what a crock of shit, it's getting high) right now to calm down a bit. I wasn't being "negative." I was expressing my opinion and what I would do in OP's situation. I don't know what "both worlds" you're squawking about, but you don't know me. I didn't make this thread about whether cannabis is medically effective. You did that with your long-winded post. "Cannabis has been made to touch on all corners of ever human ailment" :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

    Try to stay on topic, k? This isn't the place to explode and go on a tirade against me.
  17. Well actually sbrown, this thread that I made is NOT at all about whether cannabis is medically effective. I am 100% sure that is it. I am not saying it is the best medicine in all cases and I am not saying that I am medicating myself with it in the best way. But that was not why this thread was started as you so misspoke. If you will kindly refer to the title of the thread you can read the question I asked and the reason for the thread, not weather or not the pot is helping me medicinally but how I can explain to my husband and make him understand that it IS in fact my medicine and that it is not worse than a handful of pills made by men in labs.
  18. The tobacco makes your smoking way tougher on your lungs. Go buy a bong or bubbler (water filtered piece) and see if you notice any difference. Blunts also use more weed to get you high, so any money you spend will be made back by saving weed. If the lung problems persist get a vape and use the already vaped weed to cook with. You should also get higher quality weed so that you will have to smoke a lot less.
  19. I think you misread my post as that wasn't what I intended. I was saying that this user I responded to was the one who turned this thread into a medical debate over effectiveness. As in, he was the one who brought it up. That's why I said he needs to stay on topic. I felt that my first post here was quite on topic; did you not?
  20. WTF? Why is everyone down on SBrown? I thought he had some great advice about edibles and tinctures, which in my opinion, fits the bill nicely with the O.P.'s problem. If he can't see her smoking then he has nothing to complain about. And frankly, Cannabis can become an emotional crutch if you let it. Just like anything that is used to medicate.

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