AKA weird shit that SativaShark came up with while high. I've noticed lately that the journal I write in while high has become filled with little, brief quotes and ideas that I personally think are quite interesting, and many have a philosophical or spiritual bent. Unfortunately they don't fit in with my other thread which is just poems I've written when I'm high, so I decided to creep over here and make myself a little corner where I could showcase the weirdness of my mind. Mods: If you feel that I have placed this in the wrong spot, please feel free to move it. *I don't necessarily believe that all of what I say below is true, I am just posting it for interest. Revelation #1 In my last physical incarnation I was a disco loving gay black man who looked like a cross between Samuel L. Jackson and Sammy Davis Jr. I died in October 1974 at the age of 38. Revelation #2 My oldest white cat has been a snow leopard and a serval in two of her previous lives. Revelation #3 My cat just turned into Nelson Mandela sitting on the toilet as I take a bath. Revelation #4 I'm being paid to keep myself incarcerated in an insane asylum of my own devising. Revelation #5 Others' misfortunes do not exist to comfort you in your own disappointments. Revelation #6 I am less mad than you fear but far madder than you think. Revelation #7 My sacred purpose is to give voice to truths other people find too painful to explore in ways that give them the courage to attempt to do so. Revelation #8 Oh Lord, Bless those who would be my enemies so much that they are too busy enjoying their good fortune to ever think of troubling me again. Revelation #9 The folk song "Scarborough Fair" is about the heartbreak of loving someone with a mental health disorder. Revelation #10 In the French song "Au Clair de la Lune" the singer asks his friend, Pierrot if he could borrow a pen to write something. The secret is that the singer is actually the headless ghost of Pierrot's friend, Jean, who was guillotined five days earlier for a crime Pierrot committed. Revelation #11 I think I'm going to orgasm because this is so dumb. Revelation #12 Burn every candle you receive as a gift as soon as possible after receiving it, and use those moments to celebrate life. Revelation #13 To punish the most beautiful (heterosexual) woman in the world, have her perform fellatio on a cock that remains flaccid for the entire time she pays attention to it. (Yes, this is tasteless, sorry.) Revelation #14 A man should be obliged to lose his anal virginity before he is allowed to stick his penis in anyone else. (Also tasteless, but I ain't apologizing for this one. ) Revelation #15 A glass of milk should ideally be consumed squatting on the floor in the Goddess yoga position because we are drinking from the tits of the universe itself. Revelation #16 Don't just masturbate to some idle erotic thought, instead try stimulating yourself to the rhythm of everything that is going well in your life. Make masturbating a prayer of thanksgiving and orgasm the answer to your expression of gratitude.
Revelation #17 Cannabis is destined to be at the forefront of a new cultural and spiritual renaissance that will make all such florescence in the past seem tame. People scoff and say that time was back in the 1960s, but they're wrong. The 1960s were merely the distant thunder heralding an apocalyptic storm of peace, understanding and creativity that will heal not only our souls but the Earth itself. Revelation #18 I was at home in my bathroom, sitting in my bathtub and testing my new bong. Then I looked over at the other four people standing in the water next to me while waiting for the bus to come, and I decided now might be a good time to stop testing my new bong. Revelation #19 Why does everyone say "Oh, I'd like to hang out with Bernard or Rupert, they seem pretty chill"? I personally say fuck that, fucking that fucking "chill" bullshit! I want to hang out with someone who acts like they're perpetually hopped up on 6 double espressos and all the energy drinks they could chug, and just won't sit still, ricocheting off the walls, full of potential drama and stress, like a cross between a tweaker and a two year old on Christmas morning. Yes, that's totally what I want.
Revelation #20 New rule: Anyone who wishes to court me must first agree to have receptive anal sex with my husband.* Revelation #21 The yoga technique of "breathing into" sensations works so much better when you are inhaling cannabis vapour or smoke. Revelation #22 No one will ever know for sure why our ancestors first tried to harness the power of fire, but I like to imagine it was to be able to enjoy the benefits and pleasures of cannabis. * I'm polyamorous, which means hubby and I are allowed to have other lovers besides each other.
Just a reminder that these are all my thoughts while high, and do not necessarily reflect my beliefs while sober. Revelation #23 I want to fuck the colours inside a kaleidoscope. Revelation #24 Suddenly my whole body was claymation, like I was a Wallace & Gromit character. Revelation #25 I'm so high that I'm imagining Jesus fan fiction. Revelation #26 Then I thought, "What if Jesus is the Mary Sue some bored Jewish scribe believed would liven up the Torah?"
Revelation #27 Suddenly I was no longer myself, but a wax effigy of myself in a museum seventy thousand years in the future. Revelation #28 The English word for "quesadilla" should be "cheesadillo". Revelation #29 The desire to make a creature not of one's own species glad, for no other purpose than to know one has done so, is one of the hallmarks of higher sentience.
If you give these random thoughts attention when they appear, or even start to want them, you might miss the fact that as you approach a state of stillness, random thoughts often start popping into your head. They may seem strange, weird, or interesting, but they're just thoughts; your ego's attempt at keeping you here. In reality, you need to maintain a feeling of still presence, and let them simply pass by when they come. And if you can do that, at some point in the future, once you've found stillness and then have thoughts, they can start to have real meaning for you. You might want to write those ones down.
Oh, I do write those down. Those are the ideas for my new novel that I will be writing for NaNoWriMo, plus a bunch of poetry, not all of which has been posted here. These things here are just mostly amusing things for humour to lighten peoples' day. And so... #30 Prophets of profit, and profits of prophets. #31 What does it mean when my therapist looks like Gandalf, and the person who supplies my cannabis looks like Saruman? #32 Cannabis helped me come to grips with the life I have, so I could move on to building the life I wanted. #33 Thank you to whoever sent the lovely miniature tyranosaurus rex made entirely from charcoal. Apparently my Guardians have developed a taste for barbecue.
#34 Some day cannabis will be as intrinsic to a fine dining experience as some consider alcohol to be.
#35 I can acknowledge many people have a physical appearance which is pleasing to the eye according to the standards of the day, but few are the truly beautiful people who resonate with my soul and set it aflame.
#36 You know what's going to happen in 2012? I'll tell you what's going to happen in 2012: some place in North America is going to be the first to legalize cannabis! And thus the old world will come to an end, and the new world will emerge like a phoenix from the ashes of millions, no, billions, of healing cannabis joints.