Rules Every Woman Should Know...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by SassyMelassy, Nov 19, 2010.

  1. #1 SassyMelassy, Nov 19, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2010
    Yeah, I'm a girly, but I thought this list was cute and clever. Enjoy.

    Rules That Guys Wish Every Girl knew

    1. Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.

    2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.

    3. Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.

    4. Helpless is not cute.

    5. Get to the point.

    6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly*, or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
    Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Beyonce is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.

    7. You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.

    8. If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?

    9. Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.

    10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.

    11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.

    12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.

    13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."

    14. If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.

    15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.

    16. We need to vegetate.

    17. We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.

    18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.

    19. We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.

    20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.

    21. It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.

    22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

    23. If it itches, it will be scratched.

    24. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.

    25. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

    26. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

    27. Sundays equal sports. Period.

    28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

    29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

    30. You have enough clothes.

    31. You have too many shoes.

    32. Crying is blackmail.

    33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

    34. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

    35. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.

    36. We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?

    38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    41. Check your oil.

    42. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

    43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.

    44. It doesn't matter which quiz.

    45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

    46. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.

    47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

    49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    50. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

    51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.

    52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

    53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

    54. Ditto melon.

    55. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.
     
  2. #2 CREAM, Nov 19, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2010
    Good list, only two items I had to alter.
    27. Hockey nights equal sports (this could be 3 or more nights a week). Period.

    28. Weed (and all of its intricacies) is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

    Although I have a feeling there may be more than a few girls on here that find weed more exciting than handbags.
     
  3. * Please note, I did not write this.
    It came from the Net somewhere.
     
  4. Have seen it around, but thanks for warning the rest of us
     
  5. I think this one is really dumb, even though its true for a lot of people, man or woman.

    6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly*, or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
    Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Beyonce is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
     
  6. Thanks for the fun read:D:smoke:
     
  7. 47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


    SOML. =[
     
  8. Number 46 is my favorite. No doubt.
     
  9. 26. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

    27. Sundays equal sports. Period.


    False
     

  10. I know, I sent the list to my BF and there are quite a few that don't apply.
    But it's still entertaining, no?
     

  11. Agreed... sometimes I feel like I'm the only guy that could care less about sports but still wants to bone chicks.
     

  12. I got my BF into watching football. He even asked me what SportsCenter is.
    But he loves boning chicks, and he's great at it. I have no complaints.
     
  13. I mean, I like watching sports, but I could spend some time naming people who treat it like a religion. I've never understood the obsession. :confused:

    Also I'm Brazilian, so when soccer/world cup season comes around... holy mother fucking shit.

    All in all, that list is pretty legit.
     
  14. Definitely. A lot of things on that list do apply :p


    Dutch here, so same. I heard people threw their tv's out the window when you guys lost to our team:)D)
     
  15. Epic read, thanks for the post.

    I am not a sports person either. Not if you include snowboarding in sports anyway
     
  16. One i feel should be added...

    When your telling a story, leave your emotions out of it. stick to facts. The fact that you were upset because you lost your favorite shirt at the gym has nothing to do with where you put the remote.
     
  17. my #1 rule: if you lead me on and make me go down on you without the intention of returning the favor, I WILL DAMN WELL FORCE YOUR MOUTH ON TO MY DICK. no one gets to be selfish here....equality. word.
     
  18. i wish every woman could know these rules,,,

    my woman knows one rule,,,,

    im the king,,,,,so bow to me '' with your mouth open''...........:cool:
     
  19. NUMBER 47 GIRLS.

    FUCKING NUMBER FUCKING FORTY FUCKING SEVEN.

    I feel much better now. :bongin: :smoke:
     
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