Roommate was raped..

Discussion in 'General' started by holyrollers, Sep 2, 2008.

  1. So, a couple of days ago I found out that my roommate was raped in April. At a bar, someone slipped a roofie in her drink, and yeah, she really didn't want to go into the details. I'm one of the only people she's told besides her family.. she hasn't told our other three roommates.

    I'm just wondering what I can do to help. I don't want to be pushy, but I still don't want to see it ruin her life. It seems she's afraid to go out again for fear of it happening again. I've advised her to go see a local psychologist, and it seems that she's going to take up on that advice and see someone to help. Really, what do you do as a friend to help? Just say.. I'm there for you?

    I feel a little helpless.. and I'm sure she feels even moreso!

    Any advice is greatly appreciated.. especially if you've gone through this or have helped someone through it.

  2. Give her space, and don't talk about it unless she does.

    Just 'be there' in other words.
  3. "rapists to me are somewhere between pond scum and that white shit that accumulates at the corners of your mouth when you are really thirsty"
    - john malkovich in con air.

    dont push her to much, but you are right to suggest she get professional help. One of the biggest things you can do is make yourself available for her to talk should she want to. But she really should seek professional help, and even consider involving the police. if nothing else theres a record of it, and if the shit eating rapist strikes again they can probably make a case of it.
  4. True, but you can also refer her to Rape Trauma Services, they may be able to refer her to someone (a psych) who deals with rape trauma.

    Best of luck to her, I wish her strength. And Im glad you are trying to be there for her.
  5. That's horrible.. :( I don't have any advice but damn, i can't even imagine how hard that's gotta be on her.
  6. Get her to talk about it, if not with you then with a professional. Leaving something as traumatic as that unattended can hold her back. If you can get her talking about it your good. Don't worry about giving advice, just listen.
  7. sorry to hear man, just be there for her and comfort her in the hard times.
    i'd have no problem offin' a rapist or child molester, wouldnt even think twice about it.
    like deniro said in that new movie, i dont even know what its called, just seen the trailor on tv, something along the lines of "theres nothing wrong with a few killings if the right people are being killed" and rapists clearly fit into that category for me.
  8. Just let her know that in order to come to terms with what happened, she needs to really understand that what happened was in no way her fault.
  9. My girlfriend has been raped multiple times before in her life(troubled life/childhood) and she still feels somewhat helpless from things that have happened to her years ago, but she has gotten better after time, so maybe i could give you my 2 cents that ive gathered from my experiance with her.

    She is going most likely going to feel completely helpless,in more ways then you could imagine, its good for her to have someone to be there for her. You don't need to bring it up, just let her know your there to help her in any way she needs, and if at anytime she needs someone to talk to you'll be there. Do everything you can, without being direct and pushy, but if she needs to go out for things like shopping or w/e offer to accompany her so she can feel a little safer. I'm not sure what else to tell you because everyone is different, best of luck hope ive helped any.
  10. I hate little bitch rapists with all my soul.

    Ohhh look at you, you can beat up and rape women, your a biiiig man.

    Try raping somebody my size in the ass....

    Rape Trauma Services sounds good, psychologists freak me out tho, always seems so fake.

    Besides, psychology is an abstract science at best, even professionals with decades of experience are WAYYY off as much as they are correct.

    I think rape counsellor and Rape Trauma Services are good.

    a rape counsellor at the local police office might have some hotlines you could get her to call.

    And most of all, be open if she wants to talk! Obviously she trusts you and your a good friend to her if she told you about it. She will likely open up to you, as you are her equal, it might be awkward telling your family.

    I know that the only people i could tell my worst experiences to was my closest friends, not my family.

    Thats just my 2 cents tho.
  11. she obviously trusts you, so why don't you take her out? Just for a while until she gets more comfortable with going out on her own again.
  12. Space and time is the best thing, and being there for her, just let her know your there for whatever she might need, sometimes being a good friend is all thats needed.
  13. Yeah, I said if she ever wants to go out to the bar again with her, I'd never EVER leave her. I think it comforted her a little bit.

    I talked to her today. I've suggested that she doesn't leap back into things.. that she takes things a step at a time, and if she feels uncomfortable, then she should leave. I told her I'd be so proud of her for accomplishing those little goals, those little steps, and she'd be so proud of herself as well.

    I think I'm probably done giving my input. She's asked what I thought she should do, and I've given my opinion, so I think (as others have said), it's best for me to just sit back and don't really bring it up, and let her know that I'm here to listen if ever she needs someone for that.

    I want to keep my eye out though.. because I've seen other women slip off the deep end at my old school.. and that's bad.

    Thanks for all the feedback. If anyone else has any, don't be afraid to share it with me!
  14. I hate fuckin rapist, if caught they should be publicly humiliated then thrown in jail for a long long time.
  15. Better than giving them death certainly. :)
  16. true fucking scum .. as well as child molesters... we were better off when they were stoned and hung at the towns center
  17. Agreed, they deserve nothing less than being publicly humiliated and killed. Scum of the earth, Rapists, child molesters, and animal cruelty.
  18. I say an eye for an eye on rape. :smoking:
  19. damn man, shitty!
  20. Tell the cops, and get the motha fucka off the streets. Guys, once he's in jail, he's dead anyway. Killing a rapist, child molester, etc. is a notch up.

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