Relationships existed before Facebook...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Purple4:20Haze, Aug 13, 2011.


  1. Then why does he even have a facebook?


    My boyfriend was pretty happy to be able to put that i was his girlfriend and he's a very personal kinda guy. The only reason he has a facebook is because his sister made one for him.

    I don't think it ruins solid relationships, just weak ones. I mean, if chick has a jealousy problem of course she'll freak out when he friends Jennifer down the street or gets a comment from Mary at school.

    I think communication is perfect for a relationship.


    BTW, she could not have a self esteem problem, she just might be the one excited to show people the dude who's captured her heart. Just some food for thought.
     

  2. google that shit, the apps, etc are what take your info however not fb itself
    also you can delete your account, but its way harder than it should be, plus theres like 2 weeks where you can still stop it from being deleted
     
  3. this.
     
  4. I'm pretty sure you know that is not the sentence I was referring to, in that nasty little blurb I quoted. Or are you just arguing, for the sake of arguing? :)
     
  5. You bolded it. So I actually didn't know that.
     
  6. facebook is not going to reinforce the validity of your relationship no more than writing Me+U=4eva on a postit, on the wall of your bedroom. it can be easily hidden, and everybody can see it if they look closely, but nobody really gives a shit. point blank.
     
  7. [​IMG]



    That you simply choose to ignore the way he speaks about his girlfriend, even when emboldened, is worrying. Have you forgotten that people date for the sake of finding a life partner, who they actually get along with?


    Many people don't even befriend people who they dislike enough to complain about so rudely, as he complains about his girlfriend. Personally, I wouldn't talk about my good friend Joe or my close friend Sally, and compare them to 'other guys' or 'other girls' in such a negative way. They're my friends, they have faults, but you're either aware of those faults and accept them (and even learn to like them, because peoples faults often make them unique and memorable in a good way.. if you're close), and if you can't get past those faults you move on, and find new friends.
    That's even more crucial, in a relationship. Unless you want to find yourself, 10 years older, wondering where the time went, and why you're still with this person who you never really liked much to begin with.


    He won't post on one website that he's in a relationship, yet he comes to another complaining about her, and speaking of her in a clearly degrading manner. He speaks as though the fact she's proud, and happy to be with him, is somehow a bad thing.
    And to be honest, I'm starting to think it is, but for very different reasons. Mostly, that she could do better.


    Simply put, if you're not happy, grow a pair, and break up. You don't play games, and whine to one half of the world about how unhappy you are with the way your partner behaves while you're safely hidden behind your monitor, while using your public profile to hide the very fact, that you're even dating and in a relationship. It's very contradictory.

    People in healthy relationships tend to do the polar opposite; their public and personal friends know very well that they're dating, and the rest of the world can sit and spin, and shouldn't have to hear about their private issues.

    Something is very wrong, and is clearly very unusual, about his actions. 'Even a blind man can see it', to use an old, un-PC turn of phrase. They are very close to the actions, of a person hanging on to the last (likely, sexual) threads of his relationship.
     

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  8. Just change it to satisfy her petty needs. Don't give into things that you think actually matter. Like those who said above, choose your battles, this isn't one you want to choose because in the end she's just gonna stay annoyed until you change it.
     
  9. Yeah, I didn't see the fact that you put parentheses after the first bolded sentence - so it looked like you were responding to both of the bolded sentences.

    My bad. I wasn't trying to turn it into such a big issue, lol. I agree with you on everything, I just misinterpreted your words (which is really easy to do over the internet) and though you meant something much more broad.

    I wasn't choosing to ignore anything. So instead of getting sassy just try to see where I'm coming from.

    Petty stuff like this is why I don't even do facebook.....
     
  10. I'm sorry too, that I got in such a 'huff' over a personal issue, that isn't even my own :)

    It just looked as though you were concentrating only on the fact he's hesitant to update his status, but not at all on the way he's going about making that decision. I would have been more sympathetic to his desires not to share his relationship status, too, had he presented those desires a bit less offensively.

    It's more a... "We get the idea, that he doesn't want a small fraction of the world to know he's in a relationship; he's (oddly, considering) made that very clear, in a near-permanent way unless the thread is deleted, to an even larger group of people. But does he really need to insult his lady friend at the same time, to boot?"... type of thing.

    In ten years, if it were me and I happened to grow up a little and marry this girl, I'd hate to open up my GC account and wander into these old sentiments about her. It would be funny, but a little sad, too, that these were some of the earliest and most exciting years we had to together, and that's the way I felt.



    There was a time when I kept up with social networking pages, and when my status was 'in a relationship' on previous accounts, I'd get an increased number of people trying to add me who, weren't looking for love, but for something 'in between'.


    Many people feel that those folks already in a relationship, are easier targets than those who are single. And if the person doesn't want something serious, it's an 'especially good option' because the person they add and hook up with, will keep them at arms-length, due to their current relationship... (maybe it wouldn't surprise you to know that, as a hobby, I gave dating advice for a few years.. I've heard a bit on the 'ins and outs' of cheating and dating, online, and off).

    That's a negative consequence in my book, an increased number of people looking for some 'quick fun' I mean, but I still made the change because my partner asked, just once (just jokingly, but in a natural and healthy way, still testing my response), why I didn't have that section updated or visible.
    This was on an older social netowrking site, that (at the time) only gave you the option to have 'in a relationship', or 'not'. So the world either knew, or they didn't. And it still didn't bother me personally, but I do understand that with those older limitations, some people may still have issues.

    I thought it was silly, but I also thought it was cute, and I changed it in spite of the minor, easy-to-ignore annoyances. Even though I had a fairly decent reason not to, I changed it to appease my better half. And it wasn't all sour milk; I felt sort of good stating I was in a relationship, even if it was on a goofy little webpage. It's nothing to be ashamed about.

    And these days, they give you even more options to avoid the above issues.. you can select just your friends list, or even individual friends from the list, to be kept in the loop. In the end, I really wouldn't mind all the people on my private friends list, knowing I'm in a relationship.. I mean, why would I? Unless of course, I had some specific 'reason' not to want anyone to know. And that's probably what his lady friend is thinking, too.

    So no hard feelings on my part, either :p
     
  11. I put my cat as my daughter.



    Ya my cat has a facebook. So. I was gonna put in a relationship with her too but I got a girlfriend so now I don't have to. [​IMG]
     
  12. I don't really understand the intricacies of social networking. If I had a FaceBook account then I think having an accurate relationship status would give me some sort of satisfaction, but it also feels like you're just inviting a whole bunch of people to take notice of something that really has nothing to do with them. I'm a pretty private person and I know that when I (rarely) am in a relationship I don't really care if other people know (unless someone tries to step to my girl, but even at that point it's like whatever she's my girl). There are definitely two sides to the argument, but the real problem has nothing to do with FaceBook - it has to do with how two different people perceive their relationship and how they want others to perceive themselves. People, even of like mind and heart, can have very different feelings about how to present themselves to the world and how much themselves should be made available/public.
     
  13. Exactly my point; if he was really concerned with privacy, and if he liked the girl, he wouldn't have made a public stink about it here, while insulting her at the same time. It's all a little too contradictory and obvious.
     
  14. I like those "check ins" on facebook. Right now I just Checked into the shower and I tagged my girlfriend in it saying shes with me.


    Miles is with Stephanie in the shower. Already got 2 likes :cool:


    In reality i was in the bathroom taking a shit, though. The shower was last night, still counts.
     
  15. I don't see how anybody can possibly say that I am contradicting myself by talking about being a private person but then talking about it on this site.
    I am under a screen name, one that I don't use on other websites. I am not posting as myself like I would be on Facebook. It is also not like I haven't discussed this with her and voiced my opinions and worries. I actually felt a little bit better putting it onto here and being able to tell people about it and see what they think.
    Also, I am not trying to be negative and insulting about my girlfriend, I love her, she means alot to me. If anything I wanted to be insulting to Facebook and the portion of females who follow it like a religion.
    I know my girlfriend, I know about her self-esteem and I know about whether she is paranoid or not. What it boils down to is that I can sense this is a little trivial issue brought on by the whole Facebook generations pressures, it doesn't go deep into our relationship or either of our psychological issues.
    If Facebook had never existed, none of this would have happened, it isn't like she would have manifested her issues in a different form, it is simply Facebook's fault. Which is why I have no issue being so negative about it all as I feel like I am not annoyed with her, I am annoyed that peoples lives have been changed to fit around social networks.
     
  16. You cannot blame facebook for your problems, dude. I'm sorry, but maybe you shouldn't have a facebook if you're so private.
     

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