Relationships existed before Facebook...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Purple4:20Haze, Aug 13, 2011.

  1. #1 Purple4:20Haze, Aug 13, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 13, 2011
    Some girls act like relationships doesn't exist unless it says so on Facebook.
    I cannot believe it is causing tension between me and my girlfriend because I don't have her listed as 'in a relationship with...' on there.
    Like as if her parents managed to marry and conceive her without putting it on Facebook first, it pisses me off.
    I never add photos, I never update my status, I just keep it because people use it to contact me to save money on texts etc.
    The point is, the people who should know about your relationships are the people you'd tell face to face anyway. All the other randomers have no bussiness in your affairs. It's bullshit.
    And sure you could say, well just suck it up and compromise, it's a small thing to do to make her feel better. But I shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to commentate my life over Facebook for it to exist.

    I'd also like to point out that I am not listed as 'single' so that is not the issue...
  2. I never fuck with facebook. You should try it out.
  3. It seems like she cares a little bit too much about what other people think.

    Honestly I have been with my man for almost 3 years, and neither of us have stated on FB that we are in a relationship. Our friends and family know that we are together and that's enough for us.
  4. Remember remember the 5th of November. God I can only hope they take it down, I doubt it though. I feel like Facebook will be a lasting phenom in my life.
  5. I met my wife over 20 years ago in High School, but then we lost contact for 13 years and refound each other online as a fluke (No it wasn't FaceBook).

    Anyway back when I was your age (It fucking hurts to type that!) we didn't have social networks and the internet was in it's infancy. Hell a desktop computer cost 5 grand, and my present cellphone is 50X faster and 1000X more storage. Anyway We would go on dates and spend time face to face, or talking on the phone (back then they had cords, and cordless ones had metal antennas that snapped off). But we always made the best that the stone age gave us. We had color TV, INDOOR plumbing and cable...with 80 CHANNELS!

    Fuck, I can't go on. I'm gonna go smoke a bowl, I'm depressed as shit now.
  6. #6 StephanieMarie, Aug 13, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 13, 2011
    I have to say I'm one of these girls, but in our defense..I don't see what to problem is posting that. I mean you want to make her happy right? And that will make her happy and get her off your ass. Just as in your case it sounds like a matter of principle right? Well that is the same thing for her. To her she probably thinks what is he ashamed of me? Just do it..

    Pick and Choose your battles my friend! Is it worth fighting over? No.
  7. I know exactly what you mean man, I don't exactly like putting up that I'm in a relationship on facebook. I hate facebook and I don't like that people can know the status of my romantic life just by typing into a computer.

    However I can see her side. I know what she is feeling, she really likes you and would feel some sort of recognition if she can publically display her relationship to her friends. Its lame, but it really goes hand in hand with our facebook generation. As Stephanie said, pick your battles. If this is something that goes completely against what you stand for, maybe having a girl who cares sooo much about facebook is going to be an issue with you. But if you're just like me and annoyed by just using facebook in general, maybe it shouldn't be such an issue. I've never sent a relationship request to a girl, but if she wants to make it 'facebook official', so be it. Its just facebook, man.
  8. Haha I love it.
    "So, how are things between you and Gabe?"
    "Welllll.... *blushes* It's FB official!!1!!!!1!11!"
    "Omg!!!!!!! That is sew romantic...."

    Facebook is a joke, imo. Who takes it that seriously? Delete yours = problem solved.
  9. What's a "relationship request"?

    Is that like a "friend request" but instead of asking them to simply be your friend you ask to be your girl/boyfriend just by the process of sending of an electronic notification?

  10. Fuck, I totally understand you OP..Facebook sucks! But in this case, if you genuinely care for this girl, I would simply give in and change it..not worth fighting over imo.

    Technology can be awesome, useful, and interesting...but it often makes me mad and wish it didn't exist...

    I often wish I was born in the 50's. Or perhaps even in an earlier century..
  11. Yeah, in order for facebook to display 'In a relationship with ______' one person has to send the other a relationship request and the other has to agree. Or else all that one can put is that they are in a relationship, but not specify with who.
  12. That's good. Just so long as you're not intentionally neglecting to mention the fact, in order to facilitate specific 'conversations', that you shouldn't be having with other girls, then I see no issue.

    But if your friends list is full of girls, wondering whether or not you're single, and they're talking to you like you're available and you're not telling them otherwise, then she's right to be upset.

    From the sounds of it, you're probably not doing anything wrong, and in her defense she's just trying to figure out where you stand in the relationship. Maybe you are, too.

    She may feel like you don't want anyone to know for sure, because you're not proud of your relationship with her, or that you're not happy with her as a woman, for some reason or imperfection she already sees in herself. Not everyone can communicate these feelings perfectly, and some people lose the ability to communicate all together if they're self-conscious or feeling devalued. Putting it in writing may convey a little more seriousness, or it does at least for you, from the way you respond.
    You shouldn't have to wear a ring on your finger if you're not ready of course, but you also shouldn't feel defensive, or that it's appropriate to hide the fact you're dating, either.

    She may have been burned in the past, and even if she hasn't, she's certainly not a psychic, so she doesn't know for sure what you get up to on there.

    If my better half, happened to mention the exact same sort of concern to me, my first impulse would not be to get defensive. I'd find it amusing, and even a little flattering, actually, that it meant so much to them...

    If, I actually liked this person, that is.

    Otherwise, it may make me defensive, or slightly annoyed. And these are the kind of feelings which, regardless how they occurred, would concern me, and make me wonder whether or not I'd made a good partner choice. And I'm talking not just about facebook, I'm talking about whether we disagree over bedsheets, bongs, or anything in between.

    I'll take almost anything preference-wise, in good humor, if I like the person.

    You certainly feel comfortable enough voicing these concerns to an entire forum full of strangers, and yet, you're apprehensive to admit via a similar channel, to personal friends and acquaintances that your relationship 'exists', even if 'you don't care about facebook' and it's just to put a smile on your ladies face.

    I also wouldn't refer to a person who I was very serious about, as 'some guy/girl', and then generalize them negatively along with the rest of the gender.

    That's not a good sign.

    Whether it was a ten month, or a ten year relationship, I have never felt that way about a partner... not, until shortly before 'the end'. I wish you good luck, but I think you're probably already well on your way, to emotionally detaching yourself from this partnership :)
  13. shes mad cuz ur making it seem like u dont want the relationship to be public knowledge. thats how girls are man.
  14. Appropriate response to said girlfriend...

  15. You own a pair of nuts or what? Just flat out tell her it's not happening, don't leave any room for negotiations. If the question is repeated, just repeat the same answer. Stonewall the girl. It really does take two to argue. If you don't take her up on the issue and the only answer she gets is a firm "no" it will be forgotten.
  16. If we could have animated avatars I would use this.
  17. Delete said facebook.

    If she brings it up, be all like "WTF I don't even have a facebook:confused_2:

    Seriously though, she's probably thinking your ashamed of her or whatever, since your reluctant to make the relationship public knowledge. I'd just tell her that you think Facebook is stupid, and that you don't need a social networking site to feel like your goin steady with her.
  18. lol....FB drama..dont play in to glad I deleted mine over a yr ago...ahhhhh
  19. and this is why i never made one. Well, that and the fact that i just hate the concept. You know what I do when I wanna talk to someone? Pick up the phone and call em:eek: or text em:eek:

    but really you should just delete it. Or stand your ground it's fucking stupid that she's upset over this. But then again i'd expect a woman to be.

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