Relationship question, need help...

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by KB_124, Sep 16, 2002.

  1. Ok guys, sorry if this is not weed related, but it's 2:30AM and i can't sleep. So I could really use some help on this one..

    So, i read through this whole thing and thought i would sum it up for you. John loves Jane, but Jane loves Tim, Tims no good for Jane but Johns really possessive, AND 22.John WILL provide anything for Jane. Jane and John are really good friends of mine but i dont want to see Jane get hurt. Jane obviosly feels something towards John or else they wouldn't be with each other all the time..I have tried to support John through this because i know that he will provide for her, but he is possessive and she likes to flirt, even in front of him. Now that can't be good for her and I would love to step in because i know i could be good for her. All of our mutual friends suggest to me that i should try to go out with her, but i see her as a really good friend, and don't want to ruin that friendship. To be honest with you, this whole situation is fucked up...I shoudn't even be writing this, but i just HAD to get it off my back, I would love any feedback though.

    Back in June this new girl was hired at my job. We'll call her Jane. Now she wasn't seeing anyone at the time and her and this other guy at work hooked up.We'll call him John. Jane is 17 and John is 22. it didn't work out between them so they broke it off, a month down the road she started going out with this guy who is 15. Lets call him Tim. They have been going out for about a month, but really only see each other maybe once a week. and thats on her payday (see where im going with this?) Tim uses her for weed and money. Where does she get her weed and money? from John. He buys her everything, but the funny part of it is that she never asks for anything. He will offer something until she takes it. Weed...a pack of cigarettes a get it? Jane is all that John talks about. 24/7 all he wants to do is be around her. she has a boyfriend (in her eyes) and loves him as much as John loves Jane, does that make sense? So I thought I wanted John and Jane to be together, because at this point we have turned out to be really good friends (John and Jane) And I take Jane to school every morning (including this one in about 4 hours) and we normally go out for a cig at lunch. Now I'll tell you that even though i KNOW that John will always provide for Jane, he is possessive and she is a flirt. All of her friends are guys pretty much. But I can tell that she doesn't want to be around him because they are always together and she needs some space.
    So, even though I know that John will provide for whatever Jane needs and really loves her, is it bad that he smothers her (not knowing it) and is really possessive? Ok, this whole thing has gotten kinda confusing, remember, i am tired as fuck but i can't sleep on this one. any advice would be great.
  2. Man, that is confusing, good thing I'm not stoned at the moment. You need to keep in mind that you are by far not the first person to go through something like this. I'd suggest asking someone at least a bit older than you that you trust for advice, perhaps a parent or an older friend. One thing I can tell you for sure is that people tend to react badly to information they don't wanna hear when it comes to love. Chances are someone is going to come out of this hurt, and minus at least one friend. Just try hard not to be petty, not that you would, it's just that I have a feeling someone is going to end up reacting badly, if this ends up anything like the experiences I've had. Oh, and it seems like there's a pretty big age difference involved here somewhere (I got a little mixed up on that halfway through) which is just not a good thing. Whoever this fifteen year old kid is he's obviously not ready for a relationship. It seems like he's looking for a replacement for his mom rather than a girlfriend.
    I hope I was able to help somehow despite my confusion. Good luck.
  3. Lol, last night when i woke up i started smoking just to see if it would help me get to sleep. So i forgot what fake names went with real names..haha. Wasn't hard to figure out for me, but was just kinda funny.
    Amanita. Yes, John does express his love for her everyday, she knows how he feels about her, and she probably would love him too, if he just gave her a little space. And they all know that this Tim is a leech.
    KraziHare, yes this whole thing is really confusing, but i just had to let it out, ya know?
  4. I do, good luck :)
  5. obviously, Jane isn't interested in John. She probably endures him because he puts himself in her way and basically force feeds his "love" to her.

    what she's doing with Tim is anybody's guess, but you just know he's good at "something".

    Jane is young and probably doesn't want a serious boyfriend right now. John, being older, probably has different priorities. Maybe he should be looking for someone who's interested.

    as for you, if you like her, tell her. you sound like the two of you are close. and believe me, we rarely look at our guy friends that way - unless there's a reason to. maybe you should give her one.....
  6. Thanks everyone for your input... As for an update, Tim ran away with an old girlfriend last night, and left Jane crying all night, but she's getting over it.. I dont know, i feel like such a back-stabber, even though i haven't done anything yet.. I know john wants her back soon. I mean, how would you feel if the girl you love starts going out with a best friend who has supported you and the girl being back together from the begining?

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