Relationship Advice. Please!

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by SenorDingDong, Aug 28, 2008.

  1. Shit this is driving me crazy. I need guy and girl perspectives on this. This is long so props if you are willing to read!

    So I was with this girl for about 2 months, 2 years ago, and things got hot and heavy. She went back to school, got with her old boyfriend, (which im not really sure she even broke up with to begin with) and we dumped the relationship. She still wanted to be friends, but mentally I couldnt do it. Things were rocky for 2 years. Basically we stopped talking completely cuz I told her to not ever contact me unless she was single. So between then and now Ive had my fair share of girls: some hot chicks and some great sex but nothing quite as special as her.

    Fast forward to this month: Out of the blue I sent her an email saying I forgive her for all the dumb shit she pulled and that we should open the lines of communication again and I miss her and blah blah blah. She responded with Im so glad you contacted me and I cant say in writing what I mean so I want to talk on the phone and I can answer any and all questions you have.

    So I talk with her on the phone and its kinda awkward, shes like driving somewhere and my voice is all echoing and the whole convo is just really rushed and almost forced. We just catch up and get reaquainted, but avoid the real reason why we were supposed to talk (about me and her and our feelings and shit). We talk about hows your family, whats been goin on, what are you doing for labor day etc etc -- she said shes not going anywhere for labor day. I said I might go to tahoe but not sure yet. Also it turns out she just broke up with her on and off boyfriend a month ago. I had no idea. Then she ends it with you should come visit sometime and we can go to the bars and Im like cool. I text and apologize about the awkwardness and that it should get better from here on out and shes like no worries, keep in touch. Sounds good right?

    So the next day I text her, "hey i thought about your offer to come down to L.A. and I wanna take you up on it, so pick a weekend and lets party." I didnt say anything about where I would be staying, Id probably stay at my buddies house down there. Then i follow that text up with "and if your not doing anything for labor day let me know and maybe ill cruise down. If its too soon I understand just let me know." We live 7 hours away by car, shes in L.A. and Im in the bay area, but I travel alot so its no big deal to me.

    I dont hear anything all day, so I write back around 11pm, "Hey maybe Im getting ahead of myself. Next time youre in the Bay call me and we can get coffee. Otherwise, I'll see you around." Then I go out and party and get a booty call and come home and crash.

    Next day I am like losing it around 12pm, I cant get her out of my head so I call her and i think she sent me straight to VM, and in my head Im like, "fuck! Well. . .maybe shes in class". I leave a message saying, "hey its me, i think we need to talk for real this time, about you and about me and about what is on our minds. Our last talk was so superficial and I really want to clear the air and just talk to you, so please call me, today if you can. Then I follow it up with a text saying "dude, please call me. I want to talk to you for real about stuff on my mind." And one text more saying "let me know when youre gunna call cuz im busy today."

    And nothing. No text, no call, no message, no email, Im like what the fuck is this girls problem? Why is she ignoring me? If she doesnt want to talk, why doesnt she just text, "Hey I need some space right now" or "I dont feel like talking to you, I need to figure things out in my head" or "Im over it". I dont friggin get it. So Lame. I feel like writing to her an email saying I regret even getting back into contact with you, cuz seems you could give two shits and blah blah blah.

    Somebody try to help me make sense of this behavior. If I cant figure this out Im gunna axe her and never speak to her again.

    Thanks for readin blades
     
  2. i don't understand it either

    girls can be pretty damn confusing

    usually they're just scared of committing or getting hurt

    or hurting you

    but what they don't know is that by not contacting us

    it hurts us even more than if we are told what's really up

    but i feel your pain

    happened to me too

    just stay up and stay good man
     
  3. Man, stop trying to rush things. You're being kinda pushy, and like you said, she recently got out of a relationship. Enjoy where you are and having fun right now, and if she doesn't call so be it. You tried what you could and the weight is off your shoulders... if she ever wants anything, it's her obligation to get in contact with you now.
     
  4. @SenorDingDong

    Sounds like you're coming on too strong, dude.

    Might be freakin' her out...
     
  5. uh yeah dude, it makes perfect sense.

    give her more time to respond. you are being WAY too pushy, and now its painfully obvious what your feeling are (from her POV) and MOST THE TIME they dont like dudes who show such love so early..remember you gotta start a fresh kinda.

    i wouldnt call her or text her again.

    let her make contact.

    best of luck homie..women are a trip:eek:

    sry if thats confusing im in a rush:smoking::smoking::wave:
     
  6. yo man you sent WAY too many texts after talking to her just once quickly. girls get freaked out by that stuff. i know she was in your head all day, and you were dying to get a response, but you should have stopped after about the second text.
     
  7. cheat.
     
  8. She's having fun with the thought of you wrapped around her finger.

    You're her plaything.
     
  9. that happen to me too well not that kind of story but...anyways

    stop textin her, cause ure pushin it, u want girl like u then talk to her and dont talk to her for 2 days or whatever then text her or call her,

    and yet,
    I STILL SUCK AT RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    i cannot get a girl, i can get a girl like me but i cant keep em, it fuckin hard
    and i just dont get em
    i'm tryin reach to the top of the apples (like the apple story) but i cant cause stupid bitchies keep playin games
     
  10. Aye.

    I'll agree with the general consensus that you may have scared her off by trying too hard to contact her after your conversation.

    People get busy, sometimes it takes a day or two to get back to people. I know it does for me. I also know that when people ignore that thought and call me or text me over and over again, it irritates the fuck out of me and I just end up taking longer to get back to them.

    You said what you wanted to say. Now relax, take some deep breaths, and just let it go. If she calls, she calls. If she doesn't, she doesn't.

    And next time... just text once. :p
     
  11. haha. I knew I fucked it up and Ive never been pushy like that before. Oh well. Live and learn. Shes dust in the wind to me now
     
  12. QFT. Don't text this girl, call her again or any of that other shit, girls get easily put off by that kind of pressure and it will send her further away. Let her contact you, if she doesn't do that, let her go...
     
  13. heres my prediction:
    once you stop texting her she will realize that you have lost interest. she will send some stupid ass message like "Im thinking of when you will visit :) " and you will get all happy. IGNORE IT, MOVE ON. Just take your time man, it seems like there are a lot of great girls out there, and maybe this one isnt meant to be.
     

  14. Let's see...alright, i'll do my best to tackle what you've thrown out...

    First, I think you should relax. Honestly, it's been a while since you've talked. You can't assume that things are cool just cause she said they are. No offense to anyone, but she's a girl, you really can't trust the shit she simply because most girls are immature with their feelings and therefore will say what sounds right.

    As for the txt's you where sending her bout getting together, give her sometime. Playing the optimist here, her phone could have gotten broken or stolen, or whatever...i've learned that just cause a girl isn't responding to you doesn't mean she's doing it on purpose. Shit might be hectic on her end and she might be trying to organize things (<--but hey, don't quote me on that part)

    Lastly, relax. I'll assume your young, giving you the benefit of the doubt. I say it's bugging you because you've opened up old wounds. And like you said, you've been with other girls some good on looks, some slammin in the sack but nothing really quite compares to her. Honestly, I say just wait it out. Do you, but still remain open just in case ya know. she might be goin through something sooo just give her some time. I'm sure you'll hear something.
     
  15. i'm with the consensus, you pushed too hard. I mean what if she forgot her phone at home that morning? What do you think she'll be thinking when she gets home and sees all these pushy txts and such?
    Also, you said "I dont hear anything all day, so I write back around 11pm, "Hey maybe Im getting ahead of myself. Next time youre in the Bay call me and we can get coffee. Otherwise, I'll see you around." Then I go out and party and get a booty call and come home and crash." If I were her and I found out about that, i'd just think that you were a creeper out to get your own jollies and nothing else. as a girl, i have the opinion that if your going to have fuck buddies and booty calls while you're trying to start a relationship, then what would keep you from those girls when you actually get into relationship status? respect is built up prior to the commitment too, ya know?
     

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