You may be interested in the book AA:Cult or Cure [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-pRv6sdsMI]YouTube - Top Ten Reasons To Run From Alcoholics Anonymous[/ame]
Some of you really aren't understanding what Im really trying to say. Im not a selfish person, whatever it takes to keep her mentally healthy and still herself, do it. I stay supportive, I mean, like I said, I don't get high when I know she's coming over, nor do I smoke around her, or any of that. As far as Im concerned, drugs are a myth when Im with her. I just really think that she's playing into all of this bullshit that AA and rehab throw into your head. She's basically playing into a lot of what the video above me said. Its not that I want to spend more time with her and im mad or jealous about something, its just changing the dynamic of our shit, and not to mention that she's almost "one of them" The thing that really gets on my nerves is that ideal that addicts should be treated differently and that its a lifelong disease. The "one of us" idea, I guess. When things go wrong, or not my way, I really try to explore every corner of the situation before I judge it. I've been to more than a few of her meetings, and from what I've experienced, everyone there acted like some victim that has to dodge addiction like its some loan shark. Im not calling alcoholism a non serious matter, but I'm definatly not calling it a real disease.
dude, alcoholism is a disease. my family is full of alcoholics, and its not like they have a horrible family and drink because of it. but your plight, i would say, if smoking weed is getting between the two of you, stop or break up with her. i wouldn't want anyone with that sort of emotional baggage, anyway. i was an addict but now i'm clean, and i don't wear it like a badge or anything.
Yeah, Im not trying to offend anyone. I sould probably rephrase what I said a minute ago. Addiction isn't a lifelong disease. But it just really seems like they want you to beleive that without the program, you have no hope whatsoever. She's even said that what Im saying makes scary sense, she just got afraid of what I was telling her because it went against everything she had been told by rehab and AA, and also that I was more wrong than right because I "don't understand the mind of an addict." Im thinking about giving her the book "romancing the opiates"
and also she's about to start the 12 steps... I just don't want the dogma that the people in AA follow swallowing her up.
As opposed to your uneducated self-centered dogma? The problem here is you, not your girl. People change. Deal with it. Support her instead of focusing on yourself. EDIT: I just reread one of your previous posts. You are trying to give a girl who is trying to be clean and just got out of rehab FOR PILLS a book all about taking pills? OMG just stop posting now.
Man, some people DO HAVE ADDICTIONS. Yes, this includes being around weed because it will lead to the "lifestyle" again. The hardest part is continuing to be clean not just gettin clean. Stuff like this is cliche for a reason. So yes, while you may be able to just smoke some weed and feel awesome without craving other stimulations, your girlfriend clearly cannot, weed is only one of the stimulants she abuses (based on your story).
Before you take your head out of your ass, Sir Elliot, Ide like to tell you a few things. I know that she never had a problem like that, the girl I knew was a fairly moderate person, never drank too much, never smoked too much, either. But now that she's out of rehab, she's got some notion that she never had any self control. If you had decided to educate yourself on the fucking book, and read it, like I did, you would know that there's more to it than that. What drugs the book is about doesn't matter, its really about the needed reforms in the rehabilitation. I wouldn't ever try and get her to stop going to AA meetings, let alone stop her from doing anything conductive to staying sober and off of any drugs. AA tells you a lot of shit, like to disconnect from loved ones and to connect to the meetings. THE ONLY THING that im really worried about is that it will end up tearing us apart, because of the new lifestyle. By new lifestyle, Im not talking about a drug free one, I really do want her to be free of drugs, therefore I will support her no matter what, whether I like it or not, but what Im talking about is the disconnection from loved ones that is so bullshittedly encouraged in the meetings she goes to. But you know, you're also right. I am being somewhat selfish on my own accord, I may not be letting it show to her, but it has been eating me up. Perhaps its time to just say fuck it and let things be and support her. It just feels so weird because I never saw the addict in her, the girl I saw and knew was one that could moderate, now she says the exact opposite of what I knew. I just wish that they didn't tell people that they're helpless without the program. They shovel the dependance and responsibility from yourself and onto a notion of a "disease" or something that cannot be helped, when in fact, drug usage is a choice, not a proverbial gun to your head. Im not trying to change her or be unconductive to her getting better, I just want her to explore her options...and if she ends up sticking with AA, so be it. What works for her is what works for her.
bro i completely understand your position. i don't think you are really being selfish at all, as keeping you and her together and her away from that bullshit type of thinking is definitely the right thing for her. seriously, stfu sir elliot, you obviously don't know what you're talking about. i don't care if you have alcoholism, you can resist drinking alcohol. your girlfriend can do moderation, no matter what anyone tells her or says on here. it's bullshit thinking that the AA are giving her. people are given feet for a reason. I hope you can get her away from what they're doing to her. it WILL change who she is imo. i'm sorry.
Show her this --> Orange Papers I know it says AA, but I went through treatment and it's the exact same thing. It's ALL about brainwashing and using Jesus to find a "cure". Fucking pathetic
You're right, it is time for you to start supporting her instead of trying to get her to use drugs again. Let's be honest here: you have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to addiction. It sounds like you're more obsessed with keeping your own justifications and rationalizations going by saying things like: She didn't just go to rehab for smoking a joint. She went for pill addiction. And I'm willing to bet other things that you're not mentioning. Pill addiction can be really serious. You also wrote: Think about it, she already 'explored her options. Exploring her options resulted in her in rehab for pill addiction. Stop being so selfish and start supporting her. Right now you're part of the problem and not part of the solution.
I came to the conclusion that you're a dork... Oh, and you also don't know what you're talking about... I thought you might have for a moment, but now I have no doubt in my mind that you just need to quit posting in this thread...
Actually, just shut the fuck up... I re read this, and I really beleive you have no idea what you're talking about. It may not be embarassing to you, but you're making a fool of yourself. I stated many times that Im not trying to get her to use, most of this is just expressing frustration at the situation.... you know what, I'm not gonna explain myself to a douchebag... Disrespect doesn't fly here man, read the rules and calm down. Mat369