Hey guys. I'm about to pass out, but w/e I'ma make this thread cause its lately been on my mind. From grades 1-8, I was well known in my school (it was small, like 320 students). It was fun, I was always a pleasure to be around, etc. Grade 6 came and the hottest girl in my grade, hell in the school at the time, every guy wanted to get with her. Well she told me she liked me, we went out for 2 weeks and then broke up. I had like 5 other girls that liked me @ the time as well. Not much happened in grade 7 and 8. So grade 9 came by, and I was pretty nervous about going to high school. I saw a ton of my friends there, and I met new ones. Keep in mind, I only be-friended guys, pretty much. I don't really know why. Grade 11 came by, and a new girl came to my school. Who was on my bus ride to school and back home. She got off @ my stop, and we always walked together and shit. Well we became best friends and I began to develop feelings for the girl, and @ the beginning of grade 12, she found out so I told her straight up. Her response was 'Oh'. So I cut contact, never wanted to see her again, etc. I was pretty depressed for the next 5 months cause it felt like I lost something so important to me. I actually had feelings for a chick, and thats hard for me, cause I see a lot of chicks are the exact same. Anyways, so grade 12 goes by, some partying and shit. Got my diploma in June, graduated. & now I'm thinking, all my friends were guys pretty much. Was it because I'm more easy-going with them, more comfortable? Like I was still social, but I just didn't give a fuck. All my guy friends were friends with other girls, so it was odd for me not to be. I did talk to girls and all, I just don't think we were friends, just people who knew each other. I don't know, I know I can talk to guys about everything I want. When I think of talking to girls about things, I don't think they'd take or understand it the same way as a guy would. Its weird, I love girls, but due to me not knowing many of them, I wasn't really able to hook up or anything. I didn't even have my first make out session till this summer, how sad is that? Like my best friend, he goes after the girls and he calls them up, asks them to chill, and maybe if they're DTF. I'm more of a relationship type of guy. I aint no asshole. I know how to treat ladies. Now I'm a really nice guy, but people seem to think otherwise I guess. I've been really nice throughout grade 11 and 12 to people, and they would just joke around or tease. And it wasn't fun for me anymore cause I knew I was not doing anything wrong or making them mad. I was just humble and chill. Its weird. Honestly, I don't even know how to comprehend or explain it. I never truly understood why I didn't have friends that were girls, or why people disrespected me when I did nothing to them. I wasn't bad looking either. I always viewed myself as 'normal'. Like the 'normal teenager' with the 'normal face and hobbies', etc. I don't find myself unique, which saddens me. I don't have any talents other then playing ping pong at huge tournaments and winning. I can skateboard a bit, wakeboard a bit, and I also played a lot of soccer. I find myself boring, people don't want to really be around me. It really saddens me, seriously. I don't know how to change any of this, cause this is just my 'normal' self. I don't want to be a fake, and kiss ass, and be an asshole. Thats not me. I really have nothing else to say. This was more of a rant then anything else. I just needed to vent and get these feelings out to someone. Thanks, hopefully some people understand. If you got advice, I'll gladly hear it. & I have no weed so I can't even smoke up to feel a bit better. Anyways, take care blades and bladettes.
That was quite a vent, brah! Its O.K. ,man thats what we are here for and thats what friends are for: to be a sounding board when you need one. and tonight you needed one.
I do not know what to say since I do not want a woman or many friends also your situation seems very complicated. But hay mate, Just think you got your diploma Fuck people. If they do not respect you there not your friends(But remember where guys there is always going to be a little shit giving). Maybe you will find some true ones maybe you wont. Look out for yourself do what makes you happy(Weather that be College or just a shitty apartment that you can call your own as long as YOU like it)
I know where you're coming from and i can relate. At your age you'll find most girls are hoes. Sorry to say, but as you get older they will change their ways and start looking for the 'sensible' guys. You could try find the sweet girls, but jesus christ they're a fucking rare breed. If you're working/have money, go get some new clothes, get a haircut that you'll feel confident with and go out more! If you feel good about yourself they'll feel good with you man. Is that the kinda answer you were looking for? I'm pretty baked and kinda forgot what advice you wanted haha.
Just adressing the part about you finding your "normal self" boring. You have to change yourself man, if you don't like what you see. Change yourself so you don't feel you have to put on this "act" with girls to make them like you, because then how can you really connect and feel comfortable with a girl, or anyone really? If you're constantly asking yourself "what do I say?" then you're thinking about it the wrong way. Instead of viewing it as some momentous challenge that you have to overcome, just focus on having a good time, being in the moment, enjoying the moment. There's no one way you should be. Basically, just make it up as you go along. Oh and remember this, when you like a girl, don't wait a long ass fucking time before you do something about it. In fact, the more time you take, the worse off you are. That's where you went wrong with bus stop girl. I bet if you had asked her out after like a few days of knowing her she would've said yes. The way you described it you basically didn't do anything until you were forced to.
Just read the post. It's not difficult at all. I can relate, in a way. I knew a lot of girls throughout elementary, middle, and high school, but they were never my main attraction. I was well known/liked in my schools for Emceeing, people would always want to hear me rap. Other than that I kind of kept to myself, did my work, and went through the process. Early in high school I wanted to fit in, have a "group" I was apart of. But I feel I was never really noticed; I didn't think how they did, I took more notice of what was around me. By junior year of high school, I realized all the dating was just a game. These people had no real feelings for each other, they'd break up by the summer, or sooner. The summer after graduation, myself and my friends would hit up house parties. One instance I was in the basement of my friend's friend place. While there, a girl I spoke to only a few times throughout my senior year, runs up to me. She then drunkenly exclaims "OMG!!! HOW'VE YOU BEEN!?!", and hugs me like we're long lost friends. In College however, I've found girls to be much more open to different types of people, with an overall raise in maturity. The thing with public school is, you're boxed in with the SAME people, for YEARS. I can't tell you how much happier I am escaping that hell hole...
I definitely did. I lost all my connects for weed pretty much, so its going to be hard now finding a new link. But yeah, it was on my mind for awhile now, it was time for me to let it out. Thanks for support. My situation isn't complicated, its just..empty. I feel empty, like I have no purpose or real talent. I've had people talk shit behind my back, people who I thought were my friends. I'd confront them, and they'd want to fight me. Wtf? Maybe I will find some true ones. I have friends, but theyre in university like me so its hard to see each other. And in truth, I really only have...like 3 friends who I talk to and can tell anything to. Yeah, honestly I'm not too excited about college, its been a lot of partying, hooking up. But like I said, I feel empty, and no matter how many parties I goto, they may be momentarily fun, but it doesn't take my thoughts away when I'm sober. Most girls in my school were spoiled, bitches, or complete teasing sluts. Like you said, its rare to find the sweet girl that you want. I know that in the future, they'll mature and be ladies. I'm not bad looking, I know that. I can give myself at least a 7/10, other girls I've talked to have said I'm more cute, then hot. Which I'm okay with. But thanks anyways for the advice, whether it was about the girl, or just my thoughts, it really lifted my mood when I saw the replies. I get your point, but by changing, am'nt I sort of pretending to be someone I'm not? I know what your getting @ though, and its true. I've actually had a ton of those moments with a girl thinking 'what do i say?'. I know I should relax, and chill, but IDK why its so hard. Something about girls makes me think I need to impress them and all. I don't want to, its just my mental thoughts telling me to..which I go along with cause who the fuck knows. ...I don't know what you mean by that, but thanks? Heh. Yeah, so you sort of thought the same way as I did. I questioned a ton, and I wanted to fit in like everyone else. But @ the same time, I was also interested in different things. IDK, its fucked. Like I'm not mad at who I am, because the past has shaped me into who I am. I can say I'm very mature for my age, and others have said so too. This was a rant, I got what I wanted out. Thanks for the support, advice, and helping me keep my head up. I definitely needed it.
Nah man, see that was the point I was trying to make. You're not pretending to be someone you're not, that's what you're attempting to do when you try and sound "cooler" when talking to new girls. It's never gonna sound natural because it isn't. Instead, change your entire life so all your actions align with the identity you'd like to have, rather than only bringing it out when trying to impress people you perceive as "cool". People reinvent themselves all the time, it's not "pretending to be someone you're not". What it comes down to is you need to change who you are or accept who you are.
I understand what you were saying now. Thanks. I mean I'm okay with who I am, I talk to a lot of guys, its just I've realized I don't spend or talk to girls, or when I do, I put on an 'act' like you say. Meh, we'll see. In the next few months, I'll be working a new job, so maybe something will change, maybe not. Gonna make another thread, got another story.
I think you're probably homosexual. Also, you talk about how you know how to treat ladies and how you're a relationship guy but how do you know that? It seems you aren't close with any girls really so I'm not sure how you think you know these things exactly. Just be yourself and stop whining about being boring. You should develop hobbies away from your bong.
Lol, I'm not homosexual. I'm attracted to girls. I'm not close with any girl friends, but I've been in a few relationships in grade 9 and 10, and I know how to take care of a girl who acts mature and stays exclusive. I'm not saying I know how to treat them, but I'm not a dick, and sometimes, if I want to put on an 'act', I can make lame ass jokes that some girls would laugh to. I am myself. This is a rant, if you read the post, you would know that this is exactly what its supposed to be. Whinning is different. I'm letting my feelings get out, thats all, b/c I know if I hold them in, it'd just be what I'd think about day-to-day. I have tons of hobbies outside of weed. Soccer, wakeboarding, skateboarding, parkour, etc.
It's good to see you're happy with who you are! That's better than alot of people out there. Best of luck with your new job, just be extra fucking careful with what you entrust to your new workmates. Been royally fucked over in the past by two faced bitches......
Hey this is one the best places to vent. Of all forums I've browsed, grasscity has most variety of fellow people and I find the most wide variety of views. I've learned more here in a month than I did from k-12 school, no joke. The compassion people have here is also unrivaled, although you must weed the children out lol.
You just have to take your guy talking skills and apply them to girls..guys get so intimidated by women because the world puts them on a pedestal but they're just like any other person that has hobbies and goals..Just talk to them like you've known them all your life you can even trick yourself into thinking you have and then it takes a lot of the pressure off...good luck man you'll find your groove
I kind of understand how you feel since I've been in a similar situation. What really helped me was just changing my mindset and doing new things. Here's the best advice I can give just go out and try to meet new people and find new hobbies. I wouldn't worry about focusing on trying to impress girls since they come and go. Sorry if you're still not getting the point since my thoughts might be a little jumbled up .But what I'm trying to say is you don't have to completely change yourself just focus on bettering yourself as a human being and as long as you keep putting forth the effort to grow then everything else will fall into place.