Really uncomfortable around mostly everyone.

Anxiety/depression sucks. I know all to well. Just gotta change the way you think about things which is jar but not possible. Also if you've had any past trauma that could contribute to it. Or it may run in your family. They prescribed me Xanax, trazadone(sp?), And zoloft. Worse shit ever. I just try clearing my head consciously and pushing my personal boundaries of my anxiety. You can't live in a fear bubble all your life. Little steps at a time though too.
How old are you and when did you start feeling like this ? Just wondering.

 

THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ASS TEXT POST BUT PLS OP, IF YOU HAVE ANY OUNCE OF SERIOUSNESS IN YOU IN REGARDS TO THIS POST, YOU MIGHT FIND IT HELPS--DON'T LET LAZINESS BE THE DEFEATING FACTOR IN YOUR LIFE, YO.


Some of the more physiological scenarios such as the heart deal is likely either a product of your meds, or if you have an extremely hard time getting your brain to stop overthinking, it's likely that when things settle down and you have a little less to think about you become more hypersensitive to different misc things. In this case, that could be your heart, and when you notice it, it sounds like you might get yourself worked up and anxiety exacerbates the issue. That's certainly not to downplay anything, though. I know it's still scary and can be difficult to overcome these scenarios. It's something worth mentioning to your psychiatrist when you get your prescriptions refilled. It's also important to relay as much of your experiences with him/her as possible allowing you to get the best help possible. If you don't like going to the doctor, find one you can more easily see yourself going to. It's trial and error, but if you go into it with the mindset of I can't do this or I'm going to be uncomfortable, it defeats the purpose. Again, these things can be difficult to tackle, but you're capable of doing it and every victory is progress, so it should be treated as such and celebrated!

I agree with the above poster/the first poster, if it has anything to do with trauma, that could bring up an interesting notion. If you would rate your discomfort on a 1-10 scale in social situations to a much higher degree, and you have faced trauma I wouldn't be so sure that PTSD should be ruled out. I understand you said you're taking anti-psychotics. Watch your weed/substance usage. I know you said it helps you chill, but weed definitely has a potential to work negatively against those with overbearing mental illnesses. Try to look at it as objectively as possible, and if you feel like there's any possibility of the weed making any of these issues worse, stop smoking. It's hard, especially if you can find relief from it on occasion. But you and your health comes first.

As far as your concerns regarding any social anxiety, it's certainly possible that's a very relevant issue. I'm just going based off the information given, and it's fair to be conservative with that info considering my unfamiliarity with you. So again, not at all trying to downplay anything you're experiencing. But it's also crucial, especially in folks exhibiting strong anxiety, to not jump to any conclusions. It's quite easy to self diagnose and self fulfill these issues unconsciously.

It's possible that you're similar to me in the notion that you prefer to or maybe should have an idea of most of everything that goes on in your interactions with folks. Of course humans can be unorthodox and sometimes hard to pin down, so you won't know all the details. But let's say you go into work, well if you've been there for any length of time and work anything close to a regular job, you know what to expect and as a side affect it lessens your anxiety. Maybe not 100%, but that's the nature of the illness, and it's better to think of minimizing the issue best you can as opposed to making it go away altogether. It's a process.

So I'm sure ya kinda catch my drift as far as trying to know what to expect from situations, and when things you aren't necessarily expecting happen it most certainly makes anxiety a billion times worse. Life is unpredictable, but if you can manage (with the help of those around you) to add that stability in your life where you can, it goes a long way. At least it diverts your energy from anxiety to maybe something more positive allowing you to dig for the source of these issues and work through them.

If I'm hanging with friends, I ask them what they want to do, as a genuine question. I want to know. If they don't know, then I formulate a game plan. And honestly, I'm young. My friends are spontaneous as hell and do a lot of stupid shit. If I acted my age I'd be the same. But given my circumstances and certain mental dispositions, I have grown to stick by what feels right to me. If my friends make plans with me and wanna be a dick and change those plans quite literally in the middle of the situation, often times I just go back home. If they decide to hang out with folks I don't know, or I've heard things about these people that doesn't resonate with me, then I don't go. And that's most of the time, but sometimes I have my better, more adventurous days and agree. That's purely up to you to decide. Put yourself in situations where you can stop yourself from tipping over if you can help it. But don't confuse that as having power over the situation or the folks you're around. Everyone is their own person, and there is simply so much that is out of all of our control. Comfortable or not, that's the way it is. So remember to try and be in situations where you can best control you and what affects you, not everyone else. Sometimes this can feel isolating, but when you start being active on your own terms it helps change your mindset/worldview, and slowly but surely you'll re-enter things the way you want to. It doesn't mean you can't be spontaneous, either. But perhaps the spontaneity needs to be on your terms. And dude, I think a lot of us would be uncomfortable hanging out with folks who do unmentionables or are under the influence of such dergs depending on the nature/severity of the drug. And hell, some people don't even like to be around drunk folks for reasons relating to their past. All kindsa possibilities to explore. Not as an overwhelming sentiment, but simply as a notion of better understanding yourself and fully growing into who you are/want to be/will be.

With all of that being said, I'm still being very conservative and setting boundaries on how I see the situation based on how little I know. Perhaps if you provide more info, I can help. But I'm certainly no medical professional, and it may help to ease your mind if you go see one and get more certain answers. But again, if any of this resonates with you, I'll certainly do what I can to help walk ya through what knowledge I do have. Best of luck and stay safe, blade.




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Also note, relationships are fueled by changing dynamics. For the better or for the worst. But let this be a POSITIVE motivator to get out in the world and do things. You want to stay active for yourself (or should) first and foremost, but it does help everything around ya too. I'm not saying this is the case, but if you find total contentment being home with your girl, good I'm glad you have somewhere where you're safe and happy. I would never want to take that away from you, but it's important to push your boundaries (reasonably so) so you can keep growing as a person. And sure, as a result of boundary pushing you will feel discomfort and you may have to face things you don't want to, but it's not all for nothing. Don't settle for just being content at home w/ your girl. You'll find there's a hell of a lot out there that you can offer to the world and vice versa. It just takes a lot of time and effort sometimes. This is all coming from a dude who definitely wanted to kill himself only four years back or so (and that had been long running by then) and had a deep seated enmity for himself as recent as a year and a half- to two years ago. Hell, I dropped outta HS due to my shit. I'm loving life for the moment. It's not always easy, but if you keep pushing there's big things out there for ya. Regardless of the size of the packaging.


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Don't ever feel alone though. Lots of ppl go through it. Just keep the questions coming. But make sure you're comfortable with your doctor as can openly talk with him/her

 

Just as an effort to add on to it, I would go so far as to say it's okay to feel alone. But it's important to understand that those feelings are real and sometimes quite heavy, but they don't necessarily reflect the truth of what's going on. Budz is right, you're not alone. Don't beat yourself up over feeling like it at times, cus goddamn man that's tiring. Even for the strongest of us. Use your energy to showing yourself and letting yourself see that's not the case.


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Catching dust has got it. I'm 24 and have had panic attacks/anxiety/depression since I was 18. I'm still working on myself. Shit ppl without that shit still work on themselves. Play the cards you're dealt don't let them play you my friend! Like I said personal message if you have any questions or concerns.

 

I also hate the stigma around there mental disorders. Oh it's just In you're head bullshit. Or it's not a real thing. Fuck those ppl.

 

Nothing wrong with being alone...there's a difference between being lonely and alone...sometimes it's just a period you need in your life to reflect. You need to look into 'grounding' and 'shielding'...
 
No shit...I've dealt with similar in my life in the other direction-mania-and these understandings and practices do work. If you're uncomfortable around some people...they might just have some bad energy you're taking in..
 
Also these two quotes may help:
 
“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go! and The Lorax
 
The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.
~Aldous Huxley
 
“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”
― Dr. Seuss
 
It's true you know, this is where you mostly learn how to live. 

 

Sounds like anxiety issues. I can almost guarantee your more if a indica dominated strain kind of person yeah? I get this way too, but have no form of trauma other than maybe a mildly shitty childhood. I wouldn't suggest seeing a physician, because well I believe every strain has some capability in making you're symptoms far less severe. A doc is probably going to tell you the samething because I suffered from the same symptoms, but refuse to take prescribed meds because I don't believe in taking some manufactured drug just to get by in my daily life. I noticed that desensitization and/or some really good strains make these symptoms better. Also a healthier lifestyle with decreasing all unnecessary stress also has helped me. I try an go on hikes every now and then and make sure to get all my vitamins despite my lack of a healthy day to day meal.(top ramen diet) I'm a broke college student lol. You're body has certain things it needs, a healthy diet with essential nutrients and mineral and a little bit of sunshine is something that has substantially helped me. Not a doctors recommendation in any sense, but just some suggestions from a friend with similar symptoms. If you're state allows it, get a med card and find the perfect strain for you that eases your symptoms most significantly. The app Leafly is really useful, but one strain I have found to be particularly helpful with my anxiety/depression symptoms is cherry pie. Hope some if this could possibly help, stay up and take a few deep breaths from time to time because panic attacks are a bitch.


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The trick is not overthinking things which weed does not help with. You just gotta realise that it doesn't really matter and you can just be how you wanna be with no worries and that 99% of things you are worried about will not happen and you are just being irrational. It's much easier to be with people after getting past the bullshit small-talk getting-to-know-you phase.

 

Yeah, I don't like people either.

 

I'm this way too. I'm very particular about the energy I surround myself with and don't like surprises. I do push myself out of my comfort zone, on a very regular basis. But not when I'm smoking. I don't have any suggestions that haven't been brought up, just want you to know you're not the only one.

 

it's very hard the way to change the way you think. But that's why it's baby steps so eventually it's like one big leap. Just don't be to hard on yourself. I've spent a lot of my time asking why I has to get this disorder. But don't feed into the anxiety, starve it. Anxiety is a bitch though and it's a battle but "where there is life there is hope"!!!!......anybody?

 

And ultimately if you go into the depression state and I cannot stress this enough. Ask for help! Never be ashamed.

 

I'd stop smoking weed ASAP like rocky if I were you. 
 
And any other mentionable that can't be mentioned. And booze.
 
Sober that ass up and see how you feel. You say this started around 20. When did you start taking pills for mental health/sleep? (trying not to break rules here, hopefully not crossing any lines).