Really need some help. Dont know where else to turn.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Rhyme Pillage, Nov 3, 2013.

  1. I've been in a relationship with this girl for about 8 months.  Once I was gonna leave for college, I broke up with her, I really didn't wanna be tied down while I was living my dream of a college athlete.  Then some legal shit happens and boom, I don't go there anymore.  She said to me when she was leaving my house one day that I should promise to get back together with her when the time comes and since I wasn't even going to college, I really want to be with her again.  I love this girl a lot but I couldn't stay with her in my mind idk, she wasn't going with me to college so it's like I thought it wouldn't work out.  Since I've been back in August, I've been doing all kinds of things to prove my love to her.  I wrote her a love letter that really showed how I feel and this girl knows I love her. I take her out to dinner and I got her a lot of sentimental gifts that mean a lot to me that I wanted to give to her, like an infinity necklace that shows that I will always love her forever. She has to love me, she says it but it's just weird. It's November but we're not official again.  She says I really hurt her and I know I did but god, I'm not that bad of a guy, I just didn't really understand love when I saw it in front of me earlier and now that it's here, I want to hold onto it so bad and it hurts feeling I could potentially be lonely.  She told a buddy of mine that she didn't want to get back together because she's afraid I'd hurt her again but fuck, she doesn't know I know that and she says she trusts me but I know she doesn't.  I even went to a club the other night with co-workers and she was worrying that I'd be hooking up with girls there which I didn't, I kind of stood around (it really was a shitty ratchet club).  She went to a concert with her co-worker who is a guy and a little older than me and I have no problem with that, she wouldn't cheat on me and I didn't make a deal about it even though I do feel a little jealous but I can't just freak about it, it's really not me to do so.  I just wanna know, GC, am i being led on? Is this relationship already kind of fucked up that it can't be revived again? Does anyone have any input and experience that they could use to help me? I haven't talked to anyone about this and I really can't talk to anyone other than the boys on GC.  I appreciate it if you can offer me some wisdom blades. Peace.

     
  2. Sounds fucked. You didn't want her when you had plans and dreams of being a college athlete, but now you do because some legal thing happened? In my eyes find another relationship. Hell she should find another one.

    But I mean think if someone you loved did that to you? Just break up with you because they are going to college to live their dreams and don't even want to try to keep the relationship alive?

    But hey man this is my opinion. Put yourself in her shoes, would you take yourself back?

    Sent from The Gods.

     
  3. No I said this wrong, I forgot something.  When I was all moved in at college, we started talking again and I wanted to get back together with her. I really focused too much on my sport (water polo) and just didn't think about her a lot because I was constantly training. When everything was set (moved in my room, shit unpacked, ready to start 2-a-day training) I just wanted to see her again. I didn't appreciate her at first but once I felt like everything was clicking, I really wanted to be with her again. I lost focus of the relationship and now I feel like I have it back. She didn't want to get back together right away and that was okay with me, I just wanted her in my life because I would only be able to see her every other weekend or so.  Then this legal shit happened while I was away at college and now I'm back in town and around her much more often. And it's been the same thing since, she doesn't want to get back together yet.
     
  4. #4 Bamboobam, Nov 3, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2013
     
    Squirrely said it perfectly. Why should she put her plans on the bottom of her list and pay attention to you now? You did what you did because sports was more important to you. She can do what she wants now and has no obligation to be with you anymore. You did hurt her alot by dumping her just because you were a college athlete. Idk what's going to happen, but it's her decision. If she comes back, ok. If not, take your losses and move on. 
     
  5. Well man if she gives you a second chance you can't miss it up. If she means that much to you, you gotta do everything in your power to keep her. But you can't hold it against her if she does not want to be with you.

    Sent from The Gods.

     
  6. I got it. Thanks guys.
     
  7. Just explain how much she means to you, she'll give you a chance if she actually loves you like she says.


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  8. "I just didn't really understand love when I saw it in front of me earlier and now that it's here, I want to hold onto it so bad" you should say this to her lol.
    anyways I've never been in this exact situation, but in HS I avoided having a boyfriend because I ran track/XC which took up all my time and focus, so i understand how hard it can be to balance being committed to something like that and even consider having a bf/gf. I also have been through a few semesters of college and now I am planning on dropping because I have become disillusioned with it, my whole mind is different now, and I'm sure you have sort of felt like that going through big changes of being all into sports/college then leaving it all, so you need to really sit down and think how to explain to her how it's sort of a messy period in your life going through all that so fast and you sometimes set aside what's really important, since your life is so unsettled and all over the place at the time, you sometimes get this anxious feeling that nothing is going to stay the same for long i guess. I know that sounds cliche but thats why I said sit down and think about what to say lol, dont make it sound cliche.
     
  9. Sounds like shes giving ya a taste of your own medicine bud, you gotta understand the way she feels is that you knew you were going to college and instead of telling her just let it go on until it hit that point where you know it cant go on anymore.
     
    Now the shoes on the other foot and what you had ain't comin back and even if it did it wouldn't be the same.
     
    You can say your sorry a million times, women are vicious creatures, probably wont ever get over it.
     
    Oh well, welcome to real life my friend, your choices do have consequences.
     
  10. if she ment as much to you as you say, you would have never left her because you thought ud get better at ur collage. but if shes what u truely desire gotta prove to her not with buying her things , its the little things that really show true love. my ex girl use to always say no matter how much stuff i bought her all she wanted to hear was how pretty she is and that she looks good today and to show some affection. its shit like that , that will hopfully help you win back your girl but really give this a big thought before you go for it, sounds like you really hurt her and that it was so easy for you to say ur done because ur going to collage. like if you win her back dont hurt her like that again, like what if your legal situation changed and u were able to go now would u just toss her aside again? really think this through i know what its like to have a broken heart and its the worst pain imaginable. 

    but good luck to you with what ever choice u make.
     

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