Today while sitting in the bank waiting to be helped, I was listening to two Co workers talk to each other, a man and a lady. I kept hearing one of them say something that wasn't interesting or funny and the other acting like it was. Even worse, I could hear the male strain a laugh, and I realized something; all my life I had been looking for people/friends/girlfriends etc. that I could just speak to like naturally. Me being social I can play a long but I think differently about them in actuality, and that's when it hit me. I honestly don't care about building relationships anymore, because of the said reason before. With women it's the same, it's like there aren't any that would be attracted to me, that would satisfy me. I'll always have those thoughts about them in my head weather it be their competence or they're attractiveness or even just who they are. So, with that I am done trying and caring, before it would really upset me because I couldn't connect to anyone, but now on content and no longer need to. Thoughts? Questions if you want me to explain deeper, this is a post for my thoughts over the last 5-8 years so I'll understand if I need to better explain myself.
How old are you? Just curious how long it took you to figure all this out! Yes, playing along and actually enjoying yourself are two entirely different things. I, for one, try to stick with people I actually can talk to, genuinely, and not those where I want to shoot myself after a five minute conversation. Maybe people think the same about me. Who cares because the feeling is probably mutual.
I'll be turning 19 this year, it just sucks ya know? The only people I can be real with is my family, and even that's strained sometimes, and on someone who's always wanted a family of my own, but now I don't feel like I'll ever truly want to have that kind of a relationship with any woman, because I don't want to settle. I feel like I'll just have to make myself happy. It's gotten to the point where I know what is attractive but on not even attracted to anything anymore.
Then don't settle? You're still young. I've got some years on you and have had one long-term relationship that ended in a shitty way. That's life; you live and you learn. If you're not attracted to women anymore, maybe it's you. Maybe your standards are too high or you're looking for the "perfect girl." She doesn't exist, man. No girl is perfect just like you're not perfect. You need to lay your guard down and just enjoy the process.
Oh I won't, and I know if it happens it happens if I meet her I meet her. I thought that might be the reason too. Like I just have to find Something wrong with everyone, but I know that there's not a "perfect girl" and looks aren't the biggest issue, it's like connecting personally to them, but you're right, if I can find someone I can be myself with, that'll be good enough for me. How did you let your guard down? Or how did you find someone you can just be with?
Hey op, you have to stay optimistic. There's a girl for you, and she's out there you just haven't bumped into her yet. I totally understand you tho, I rarely truely connect with people, but when i do it makes me very happy inside. I'm 21 i'll be 22 next month and i haven't been in a relationship, I don't have friends all I have is family to lean on. It use to make me cry, feel depressed and just feel pretty lousy. So, I took a t break for year and a half for school and to help my mental state and it worked. I'm still a lonely stoner, but I'm in a much happier place. hopefully you can find it in yourself to realize that you deserve to be happy even if you're alone and not connecting with some one just have faith that one day you will! I hope this helps atleast a tiny bit.
It's just part of realizing that relationships are no different than friendships. Do you act differently around different friends? I would hope not. The same goes for a relationship. You just be yourself and everything takes cares of itself, whether good or bad or whether you're compatible or not. Sometimes things just "click" and you can feel it. It's almost hard to explain love in many regards because it becomes over-analyzed, but the trick is to just simplify things. Above all, be yourself. Sometimes it takes time to find all of this to be true.