So GC,I think I've figured out something very important as far as my love life is concerned and I feel like sharing it with the world,but everybody I know is asleep,so I thought I'd post it on GC and who knows,it may even help someone else. First off,I've been single for almost a year now.Needless to say,I've been pretty lonely.I notice beautiful women everywhere I go and can't help but wonder what it would be like to be with them.The only problem is,none of these women seem to check me out. While reading another thread here in SL&R,I started thinking about how when I'm single,girls for some reason,just don't like me and I never catch any checking me out.But when I have a girlfriend,other girls seem to really be into me.So I had to dig deeper and figure out why that is. I've come to the conclusion,it's because I was such a happy,funny and positive person.But I've come to realize that to achieve that final phase of happiness(which is having a lover)you need to be 100 % happy with yourself and your situation first. When I broke up with my first love of 4 years,I was in a very dark place.Though I was at my best place in life(meaning I was my best looking,had a decent job,nice car,money to spend on whatever I wanted)I wasn't truly happy and because of that I was single for a long time after that.When I finally got over that relationship,I ended up having sex with another girl and not too long after that getting with my 2nd GF. Once I got with my 2nd GF,I was so happy and girls were suddenly checking me out,talking to me etc. In the past two years though,I have gained about 40 pounds,had no money etc.I thought I was happy,just getting high and being lazy just hanging out with friends. Back in April of this year,I decided to take care of myself and get myself back on track,so I stopped smoking and started looking for a job.I've come to realize that smoking weed just made me okay with being bored and my life not going anywhere.It was an escape for the time being. As far as the weight gain goes,I decided enough was enough and I've been exercising and eating much better and am starting to see improvements.Now the thing is,I have a body type where my weight doesn't go to one area,so I'm not like a big old fat fuck,but just a big dude.Although I don't feel like I'm horribly disgusting or anything,it still is something that messes with my self confidence,which obviously holds me back from being completely happy with my appearance. Since then,I've figured out that although for the most part I'm pretty happy, but I'm not happy enough.I'll get depressed about not having a GF,money,things to do etc. But I have come to realize that it's sort of like a pyramid that goes something like this:If I achieve finding a job,losing the extra weight,buying nice clothes,buying things that i like that make me happy,going out with friends and having fun etc.,then the next girlfriend will come into my life because I'm at my happiest and best in my life and love myself completely. So the girlfriend is at the top of the pyramid of happiness and love and in order to procure one,I must climb the pyramid from the bottom. I believe the saying "if you can't love yourself,you can't love another" is completely true and I'm finally getting off my ass and making it all happen. When you are truly happy,it will show and will attract new people into your life.
a very interesting experience, I was also puzzled to realize the above facts, but so far that I feel is almost the same as you.
Well I wasn't truely happy with my life when I found my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years! I was unemployed, unable to find any job. I'm heavy set and still am, had no drivers license, had no car, had no friends (still don't). I wasn't happy with myself or where I was in life. It's really a downward spiral how you think, because you set all these high goals and standards for yourself in attempts to grab a girl who's a 10, and when non of it falls through you slip into a deeper state of depression.
one thing i can say from experience is that if you you always look at life from a perspective of if only i had_____ i would be happy and its like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but by doing this you live in the future and once you do achieve_____ or ______ you find that it is not as you would have expected it and you find yourself unhappy again.. try to find contentment or at least peace within without the_____ and_____ live in the moment and remember tomorrow is not promised every moment we die and every moment we are born life is a series of stages ever changing never staying the same but find your balance and try to feel whole without a woman for a time it will allow you to not be co dependent upon a woman and women will find your wholeness of self much more appealing than someone who needs them and without a woman unhappy..you have to have somthing of character to offer a woman first you know?
Ehh,I think you guys kind of misunderstood what I meant. What I meant was,to achieve these goals before finding a good woman.And by achieving those goals,I will be happy with myself and my life and having a good woman is what would come last and is there to make life that much nicer.Sort of like the icing on the cake. Definitely not saying I need someone in my life in order to be happy.
You say women are at the top of the pyramid, which is why your sentiment doesn't make much sense. Women aren't part of the pyramid, man. You do not need them to be happy, they are the reward after you build the pyramid.
Guys how about i break both you're legs then tell you to stand up !!!. Not so fucking easy when you're the one in the shitty position I hate people like topic starter you're a joke mate. you've never been depressed so don't talk about shit you dont even understand. Did you get bullyed throughout highschool ? No excately shut the fuck up. If anyone should be giving advice it needs to be someone like me who understands what it's like to be nothing less than pissed off most of the time. you have no idea my friend and you're smug smartass attitude proves that /rant Sorry guys but people like topic starter will never get it..... and it drives me insane when they act like they do.
Whoa dude, something musta struck a chord with you. Yea I firmly believe in the idea that "If you cannot love yourself,you cannot expect someone to love you." Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is a similar concept. Maslow's hierarchy of needs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I dunno dude...... I haven't had much human contact in the last few years. That's what i was trying to say. You reach a point. well i did anyway. Where you start going a bit insane and see people as a threat/problem more than a positive thing. That's all i'm trying to stress is that it's cool to be alone but after a while you go a little nuts like i have and never leave you're house because it's scarey as hell out their. That's all i'm trying to stress. being alone is awesome but if you do it for long periods of time it changes the way you see the world. Believe that. Like i said i'm at the point now where i'd rather be alone i can't understand or relate to people at all. Most seem like selfish assholes to me. I'd much prefer to be on my own tbo
You really don't need to love yourself, you just have to put out positive energy and thoughts into the universe. I still have a lot of things I could work on, but it's the positive energy and thought I put into this universe that brings me positive things in my life. Remember now, I was unemployed, living with mama, no drivers license, no car, I had a buddah gut, still do, don't have any fucking money to my name. I was depressed about my situation, but yet my negativity was put into positive energy and I managed to bring a beautiful woman into my life, we now live together on our own, she helped me get a license, she bought me a car, we had a kid. We barely make ends meet but our financial situation doesn't bring unneeded tension, we stay positive and get things paid on time. Seriously man just put some positive energy/thought out there. What goes around comes around! That's all there is to it!
same old shit '' i was depressed.... positive energy'' I call b.s on this. I'm sorry but i just dont see it
Well,my point was that I'm not even going to bother looking or thinking about getting with a new girl until I've accomplished all of my other goals.That way I can be completely happy with myself and it will show. HAHAHAHAHA,you mad bruh?From my one thread,you know all of this about me?You know what I've been through?You know what kind of shit I've seen? And why in the FUCK would ANYONE take advice from someone like you?You're obviously a miserable person,who likes to whine about how hard you have it. I think it's YOU that needs to shut the fuck up! You're saying that I have a smug,smart-ass attitude,yet your post is filled with exactly that kind of attitude.Hypocrisy much? That's what I thought,you're just a bitter person who would rather whine about how hard they have it,then actually try to make a change.
I'm still better than you ''owl'' person....... btw TL,DR. Take you're dr phil books turn that son of a bitch side ways and stick it up you're candy ass because it doesn't matter what you think !!!!!!! Get a life fuckwit. You claim you're a pussy monster than why are you here wanker
HAHAHAHAHA do you write your own jokes? Better than me,yet you whine about how much shittier your life is than everyone elses. Weren't you the same person who said you would never have sex with a girl cause she's had a bunch of cocks rubbing against her pussy,but had never even had a girlfriend?
From the "Why do girls cheat?"thread. Yup,you sure are better than me! Maybe if I try to drown my feelings and problems away with alcohol and weed,I can be as great as you one day!
Let me ask you this. If you're such a babe magnet why are you on here talking to me....... Don't try and mock me for my honesty we all know how sad you are. Pathetic little man grow up. I'm real you're not