Rate my rap real quick?

Discussion in 'Music genres, Bands and Artists' started by canabisk1ng, Mar 4, 2011.

  1. just decided to throw this together when i was blazing the other day, lemme know what you think

    when i get on the mic/ i spit rhymes for my life/a reprieve from this strife/ and drama with my wife/ now let me hop in the cyphe/ and we'll roll it up right/ man theres no need to fight/ dude just give me a light/ what a beautiful sight/ seeing an escape from my plight/ now im feelin alright/ cuz i've got flows like my rights/ you can't take them away/cuz they stay and ignite/ portrayals and plights ***** this is the life/

    next verse

    Learn from my mistakes/ shook my life like earthquakes/ and ive got what it takes/ to change up my ways like the breaks/ but the stress gives me shakes/ my problems deep like great lakes/ im surrounded by fakes and snakes, ill kill em all when i wake/ send them flowers and cakes/ filled with arsenic and grenades/ lace their sheets with razorblades/ and turn em into personal slaves/ the way corleone behaves/ is sure to make waves/ in a battle i can rhyme, tight lines for days/ in an untouchable phase/ wise like Mr. Miagi's ways/

    goes to this beat
    YouTube - A-Plus - Curb Your Nerve (Instrumental)
     
  2. damn i had that beat playing and was killin this in my room and then i got to the part about arsenic and i just couldn't keep rappin' :(
     
  3. pretty good lines man, definitely digging it. constructive advice though, you should try and mix up the rhyme scheme, keep people guessing. its hard to judge though cause we can't here you actually spit it. your flow and rhythm are just as important to judge hahah keep writing though man
     
  4. got a new one

    The Slick Written Poets/ bring you the most dope hits/ Competing with me is hopeless/ i'll leave you cold and soulless/ stick your body in an old ditch/ and laugh as i see your bones twitch/ change the beat up with a slow switch/ and feed my dick to yo bitch/ lyrically blessed to make my flow rich/ lace the track like a sown stitch/ but enough about this dull shit / let me rap about explosions/ emulsions and convulsions/ on the mic i cause commotions/ with flawless rap devotion/ like Neo i am chosen/ to reinstate the deposed and/ recreate old school's mold and/ contemplate what im told and / make no mistakes save a soul man/ break the beat down like a slow dance/ like a high school kids first romance/ put your subconscious in to-tal trance/ im about to use my last chance/ at earning myself some real fans/ do you like my little show? damn/ oh well i guess i'll smoke than/ peace out till i make a new jam

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evYzNydFDaQ]YouTube - Atmosphere - Lovelife [INSTRUMENTAL][/ame]
     

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