yeah bitch here we go, lets start out slow n let ya *****s know, i dont give a fuck what ya'll think im in it for da doe. the shit aint never goin end, bitch you think yur straight but bitch i make you bend, i laugh at you *****s dat think im yo friend, like i said baby i run my own trend, hate on me bitches, but in the end ill be da one laughin, cause bitch i get dem fingers fer dat craftin, i turn yo bitch over n be full shiftin, damn baby im oh so lifted, what yur boy know about good weed n candle lights? fake ass *****, bitch wit me ya got no rights, ya make my grind n wear dem skinny jean tights, me n my boys be on da good shit flyin dem big kites, yeah bitch ya'll callin me da poser, baby you far from wrong, imma 4leaf clover, lucked out muh'fucker, now im turnin yo bitch over, ya'll aint got shit on me, my minds set n my heart is free, open up your eyes boy, bitch im dat gucci, n you dat pissed stained white t, yeah im laughin at ya'll clowns, im all smiles boy, allergic ta frowns, takin over dem towns, wearin doze swagga gowns, bitch you bad, but ***** im worse, aint never gatta worry boy, i aint goin steal yo verse, cause i bitch i put money first, drownin dat purple baby it fulfills ma thurst, bitch soft'er den a mattress, n ***** imma muh'fuckin curse, not ganna lie bitch i aint'uh godly man, im just another hpynotised mind who hit da fan, i roll low ***** if ya feel ma flow, im forever faithful *****, ima straight ***** head ta' toe, imma end dis song wit a hit of dat goody good dro. have you know i was on 22 tripple c's (coricedin) and smoked like a lil under an 8th with some buddies when i wrote this
heres da one i just did " \t \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tnew poem i wrote.. [DEEP]\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t i try my hardest, layin back try;n ta live life to the fullest.. so little time.. these emotions im having.. its gatta be a crime.. day n nite i wonder if things will get better.. fuck what ya'll say.. im a true go go'getter.. yeah i know where im goin, below baby.. n its sure showin' aint never been a good kid.. god must hate me fer the things ive did.. who says it aint right fer a boy ta cry? boy put on ma shoes...n try not ta die. dont be shy baby..aint nobody ganna undue the tie.. addiction is the game.. what ta do to get it out of the frame.. my life is getting oh so lame.. sip the pain away.. n let the stress fly away with your flame' idk if i can go any longer baby.. shit just aint right.. my life baby.. what has happened? hated by so many.. judged for the rappin.. bitch you dont know me, you know the mask, the key is locked away until that day.. nomatter what happens ill be a lonely stray.. im 2 people bitch, what can i say?"
your lines should have similar amount of syllables...right now the rhyme scheme is kind of wack still needs some work. pertty much in simpler words the flow is wack