quick fix 6.2 in June 2019

Ok, so a job I applied for a while back called and asked if I was still interested. I had gotten another job but said yes because they paid way more. Just had to pass the background check and piss test (in 3 days! and I'm a daily smoker). I set it up for Saturday last appointment (11:30 - they close at 12:00). I went to a smoke shop and bought the shit. I checked the batch number online and it was good.

Saturday morning I drank a cup of coffee and a soda (you still have to piss in the toilet - just not the cup). At 10:30 I microwaved the shit and put the warmer on; the label was black (too hot) but I figured it would cool down on the drive. I suddenly realized that I wasn't going to make it through the drive and the waiting room without peeing my pants so I took a leak. I stopped and bought a 32 oz soda and started sucking it down. The label was still black so I held it in front of the air conditioner until is read 98 degrees.

After 20 minute in the waiting room they called me in. I brought my soda and kept drinking. The tech was a young black guy with hair braided into a ponytail and he looked cool (probably burned himself) so I told him that I had peed and was trying to build up another one (I had read directions online that said "don't say a fucking word" and I should have listened) - he told me to go back to the waiting room and he would do a couple more people and call me back. I told him I thought I could go but he was firm, "if you don't get enough then we're going to have to wait for you to get another one" (he probably didn't want to work late).

When I sat back down I realized that the bottle had shifted and was no longer pressed up against me. I didn't think it would be wise to rearrange it sitting there so I left it. When they called me back I got a little mean black woman who looked and acted like a prison guard. When I looked at the bottle in the bathroom it read 96 degrees. Between 90 and 1000 - all systems go. I handed her the cup and she told me to wash my hands. I turned around to walk to the sink and she said, "this is almost out of range; I don't know if I'm going to accept it." I turned around and acted like I didn't know what she was talking about. She got up right in my face and stared into my eyes. I bit my tongue (I so wanted to say "are you a big Larry David fan?")

She said, "ok, go ahead and wash you hands." When I got back she stared into my eyes again (I guess she thought she could see into my soul). Then she split the specimen into two bottles, filled out the form, had me sign it and initial one bottle and sent me on my way.

This was yesterday; I'm not stressing out too much because I have a job (less money but also less stress and time). Fingers crossed.

 

Got the job. Shit works! Stop Stressing!