Public Restrooms= Hilarity

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by JahRastaJasmine, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. Ok, so I walk into a public restroom not making too much of a scene as I enter.
    When I walk towards a mirror I notice there only one other person in this restroom, no problem thus far. I go about my business checking myself in the mirror to make sure I wasn't too be-shoveled as it has been a very long day, and I'm on my last leg. I take a comb outta my bag and start primpin myself up, getting my hair in order and such.

    You know how when your in a public bathroom you try and act like you can't hear the
    other people peeing, and you try not to think about it. That's what I was doing, but this
    lady was peeing for forever. Then it happened......................

    I heard an EXPLOSIVE fart noise, as this lady was peeing :eek:. Immediately I was disgusted, and was gonna walk out. But I decided to stay and figure out who the culprit of this "disgusting-ness" was. I mean she had to have seen my feet and known
    I was there. So I waited......... And in my head I'm thinkin nasty poopy butt teenager, or even soccer mom..... Boy was I wrong!

    Like a minute and a half later out walks this like 72 year old women with a caine.... And I'm just like :confused:. I wasn't even disgusted at this point. Hell she probably didn't even hear her own fart. But It took everything I had to hold back the tears. When she walked out I bust out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter...

    So have you blades encountered any public restroom madness????

    Sorry about the choppy text. When I try and fix it, it get worse.
  2. + rep for that story too lolzy
  3. I walked in the bathroom in high school to put eye drops in. When i got out of the stall, there was a kid standing there putting eye drops in. A few seconds later a kid walked in and began to put eyedrops in. Was kinda funny we all just looked at each other nd laughed.
  4. Thanks bro, I swear it was wanna those you had to be there moments
  5. It's awful when you wall into a bathroom and pause just in time to hear the fapping suddenly stop. Then you have to turn around, leave, and try to find a new restroom. Happened to me twice in HS. It was horrid.
  6. Back in grade school, there was this kid that came into the bathroom, dropped his pants and went and took a shit in the only stall that didnt have a door. All the other ones were empty too. I walked by the stall and he just sat there and waved. I was like "WTF :eek:"
  7. hahaha holy shit, was he slow?

  8. I did this, like when ever there was turd in the stall I was gonna use, I would yell "got damnit, why in the hell would someone use a toilet and not fucking flush, oh like you just forgot
    you took a shit, hell no flush that shit!" And go to a completely different bathroom on the otherside of the school....
  9. One time I was at the movies, I walked in and was taking a piss in the urinal when a worker walks in to clean the stall. The minute he opens the door he goes "holy fuckin shit, im NOT cleaning that up" and walks away. I never laughed so hard.
  10. i used to go into really busy public restrooms with a marble in my pocket, lock myself in a cubicle, wait a few minutes and then roll the marble out from under the door and scream 'FUCK MY GLASS EYE!@@@@@'
  11. #11 mjr18793, Aug 2, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    This made me lol
  12. #12 13iGGy, Aug 3, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2011
    I got one:

    I was in a public restroom at a rest stop along the highway and had to take a poop. It was a small restroom with only 2 stalls and a urinal and one of the stalls was occupied so I had to do my business next to the guy. It was quiet as hell in there so you could here all the fecal noise.

    After say about a minute in there I here the guy next to me rip a nice fart. Seconds later I hear snickering and another fart followed by laughter. To be honest all I could do was laugh as well and the weed I smoked earlier wasn't helping at all. He finally calmed down and it went back to silence.

    After that I started having the ploppers. (you know, when your crap comes out in multiple pieces that plop as they drop). In the mix of plops I might have let loose some flatulence and that's when we both burst into laughter. You know sometimes when you laugh you fart uncontrollably...well that happened to the both of us. That lasted a while until I was done and stepped out the stall to wash my hands.
    The guy stayed in his and as I was leaving I heard him say "Thanks man, that made my day." and he continued laughing.

    Nothing like that ever happened to me again...*sigh*

    uuum....what the fuck? yo that's fucked up
  13. #13 Soccerguy420, Aug 3, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    Hahahah sounds like one of those once in a life time things
  14. one time i was dumping in the handicap stall (where i always do my business, i enjoy the leg room) at the university i work at. anyways, i was doing my business, then someone walks into the bathroom and starts using the urinal a few stalls down. then out of nowhere, starts singing. im like "wtf" as this guy gets louder and louder. sounded like some middle eastern type shit. then he finishes and washes his hands ( while still singing) for about 5 minutes. im already finished at this point but didn't wanna ruin this guys bathroom vocal solo. he finally left but damn was that the most awkward dump i have ever taken
  15. when i was in Elementary school i saw a kid with down syndrome at the urinal with his pants around his ankles, I left immediately
  16. My most recent bathroom laugh came a few weeks ago when I went to go see APC in San Antonio.

    First I just need to say me and my friends ate schroom peanut butter & jelly sandwhiches before we walked in.

    About 45 minutes later and 4 beers. I walk into the bathroom, sober lol, there is a huge line to wait, so I waited about 15 minutes before I could pee

    When I get to the stall all of a sudden the trip kicks in hard, I have never had a trip hit me like this, so I'm standing there peeing and I get this feeling that the 2 dudes are staring at me

    I'm standing there trying to think how can I look over without being noticed. So I finish peeing and i don't move, I don't know why hahaha

    Finally my friend came into find me, my Gf told me I was in the bathroom for like 45 minutes. I must have stood at the stall for 30 minutes.

    Sorry for the long post, just a funny bathroom story LOL
  17. oh yeah and my aunt had just had her kid recently and i was up at my cabin that has no toilet so i get to the hospital and take a magnificent dump and some little kid is knocking on the fucking door every two seconds.
  18. i walked in on 2 guys fucking on the sink in a gas station bathroom. i told the stoner that always works there to go look in the bathroom and he ran out sayin "i hate my fucking job man." most disturbing thing ever.
  19. One time at a truck pull, i was feelin funny so i decided to poo ON the seat. It was a huge slimy terd and reaked so bad. It was like 100 degrees and there was a good amount of people in there i dont think ive ever laughed that hard sober in my life. And i was like 15 at the time
  20. Back in high school me and a friend smoked a joint in the bathrooms in the gym since nobody ever used them

    We sparked that shit up and noticed two feet from below the stall. Some little dude was takin a shit while we smoked this whole thing

    Left the bathroom before we could see who it was, but he was probably wondering what the fuck was goin on

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