Psychedelics inspired poem...

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by Naked, Sep 17, 2009.

  1. #1 Naked, Sep 17, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2009
    Untitled, I wrote the first 3 lines tripping on mushrooms and finished it the next day.

    I am not to be seen,
    nor heard, smelled nor tasted
    but to be felt without senses,
    above delusion of human perception
    peel my skin like dry paint off a canvas,
    for art is not eternal
    nor immortal, it is bound to its creator

    And I am the generator,
    fueling the minds of luminous teenagers,
    chaotic like airplane propellers
    splattered with clay, a sculpture
    that spans the length of a curved runway,

    And here lies point A
    telling how to begin
    but not where, why, with whom or when,
    for the end lies on the horizon

    I am your ticket,
    your pass on the bus
    that pulsates and bubbles with pus
    alive as you and the rest of us
    steady customers, but not them,
    stable and sane, with sanitized brains
    in the shapes of tetrahedrons, pointed like weapons,
    legions marching in straight lines of reason,
    while we roll along like the cycle of seasons
     
  2. nice man. I just mentally rapped that poem in my mind and it sounded pretty sweet(I was listening to Rutten by Skream).

    Put a nice beat behind those words and you got yourself an awesome original rap!
     
  3. Whoa!! Beautiful F'n Work dude! The whole thing ... Great :D
     
  4. Thanks, I also took a lot of inspiration from The Electric Cool-Aid Acid Test... The most obvious being the bus metaphor.
     
  5. pretty sick. keep it up.
     
  6. you my friend have a license to ill.
     
  7. Ha, I could never really see it as a rap, but maybe spoken word...
     
  8. great poem man. i really enjoyed the second stanza
    'And I am the generator,
    fueling the minds of luminous teenagers,
    chaotic like airplane propellers
    splattered with clay, a sculpture
    that spans the length of a curved runway'.
    sick
    This may sound random but iv been meaning to read The Electric Cool-Aid Acid Test and haven't gotten round to it. how is it?

    keep up that poetry man :bongin:
     
  9. Thanks, that was one of my favorite parts to. The book is amazing! A great social documentary of the 1960's psychedelic movement, but told through the perspective of the craziest, most hardcore acid trippers to ever exist! But they're not freaks, because they're all really intelligent(The leader is the author of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest") and can handle that much mental stimulation. They don't have to work because they just live off of the money Kesey is making from is award winning book and play. But there's some twists and I won't say anything, but it's also got some great descriptions of the acid tests that they ran all around the country, and of the acid trips themselves. Anyway, I definitely reccomend it if you're into that culture.
     
  10. Nice work. + rep
     
  11. shit, i had to come back to your thread and read it again! and im still diggin it!

    can we expect some more work?
     

  12. Maybe, I write lyrics for my band and a lot of them are strong enough to be poems, but I might end up just posting some more like this one once I finish this other project I'm working on.
     
  13. Finish quickly :D. I enjoyed this and would like to read your other stuff.

    Very well done.
     
  14. i agree. sound like some shit aesop rock would rap about. i like it. if my rep counted for shit id +rep you.

    would like to hear another in the future.
     
  15. That was an amazing poem!
     
  16. *snap snap* I can dig it, like a shovel.
     
  17. i'm not really big into poetry...but i i could find more stuff like this it would definitely change my mind. i have to admit dude, that was awesome
     
  18. I verify this poem's awesomeness. I hate to boost people's ego's but I can tell you already lost yours at least once. Great job dude.
     
  19. #19 Deleted member 245015, Dec 6, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 27, 2020
    j
     

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