Progress

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by KJ7, Apr 8, 2006.

  1. Well, its been an awesome night for me, a bunch of yayo, 12 pack of miller high life, and a blunt of some nice canadien nugs. But as I've at the end of the night, I'm looking back on the rest of my life. Currently, I'm a freshman at the University of Pittsburgh, and came from an all boys private school near Philly for 13 years. I didn't really get into pot until around january of junior year of hs, and after that it there was no turning back. I got into it pretty quick for a newbie at the time, smoking 3 times a day within 2 weeks, doing some pretty retarded stuff. I used to smoke in the auditorium bathroom in the basement, which was right next to all the music and art classrooms. Heh good times. Then I got into cigs about march of junior year, for no real reason other then I was sitting around at home and thought, hmm I wonder what a cigarette buzz feels like. Called up my best friend, as I was 16 at the time, and next day I had a pack of Marlboro Reds. Nowadays, I'm up to a pack a day, and dip a fair amount too.

    Now, I wasn't a drinker at the time. I used to think, stick to bud and bud only, its good for you after all. But parties followed, and I began drinking a fair amount after that. Senior year I tried shrooms, and got into dxm alot. I used to trip off of bottles of vicks44 max strength cough syrup. By senior summer, I was drinking at bars in west Philly every day starting from 5pm to 3am, and having fun with girls and such. I felt great at this point, feeling good to be out of the school I'd been attending for pratically my whole life, and looking foward to college. Probably the greatest time of my life

    I realized that up until college, I was always looking foward to something, another year or something. My grades were never great, but theyve slipped a bit since getting into college. My drinking and smoking have went up significantly, I'm now currently smoking at least 4 times a day, and tend to drink about 5 days of the week. Currently, all the drugs I've tried are salvia, dxm, coke, weed (obviously), oxycontin, hydrocodien, mushrooms, xanax, and adderall. I'm probably not going to come back to college next year, as my grades aren't good enough, on top of some trouble I've gotten into here. It feels like I've reached a new stage of life, like now I'm about to enter the real world truely now. I used to work parttime at stores and such all throughout highschool, so I'm no stranger to the working world, but I feel kindof like I've let down my parents and people around me. It's like I reached the peak, and now its about to end. I dunno, this was a drunken ramble at 630 in the morning so I dunno how that sounds, just thoughs going through my head that I needed to vent.
     
  2. All I can say is you gotta live for you. If you don't think you're a dissappointment then you're not. Also, it sounds more like you're about to start something better than what you're at now, working and being out on your own isn't a bad thing compared to being dependant on the parents or whatever.
     
  3. Hey man don't feel bad at all. I am right in the same posisition you are, Im about to be completely self sufficient and its pretty scary. My rents were pretty upset that I was leaving the university thing but im going to go to school part time.

    So now that I have a plan and stuff they are just glad to see that I am happy about what im doing. So good luck to you man, and dont let other people get you down cuz there is always more people that will not judge like that.
     
  4. Mate im in a similar position, ive tried weed,coke shrooms and went thru a heavy drinkin phase, but then really managed to cut down, if i didnt cut down i wouldnt be in the college im in now and wouldnt be gettin my a levels, im also quitting weed in about a week and a half and having a no bunnin phase until i get my AS level exams out of the way. Mate, to be honest it aint too late to turn ure life around.
    if u wanna quit smoking for a bit, do it, i guarantee u will find the benefits and it will be so much better when u start again, when i feel like my lifes taking a turn for the worst, i quit bunnin, and altho i dont like admitting it, quittin weed for a while rly gets me back on track.
     
  5. A peak in your life? Hahahaha, dude you're like what, 20? You still have your entire life ahead of you.

    I kinda went crazy at the end of high school too. Up till then I was an angry, introverted and distrustful kid, and discovering girls, drugs, parties and drinking all at the same time had effects on my lifestyle that you can probably imagine. I learned to open up to people a lot, which I'm thankful for, but eventually you have to slow down, especially substance-wise.

    There's nothing wrong with partying, but you need to find something more fulfiling to center your life around. That's a pretty tall order, you won't just stumble on the meaning of your life over night, but until then you should at least be taking care of yourself physically.

    Don't sweat it man. Stay postive and you'll figure things out :)
     
  6. Andy, you sound exactly like me. Not only in this post, but I swear every time I read one of your posts it just reminds me of myself.
     
  7. Thats an interesting story man. as a senior in high school (don't worry i'm 19, held back a year for starting kindergarten), i'll be graduating in a few months. my grades are not good, due to an extreme lack of effort. Due to a high ACT score I'm going to a university next year that at this point I'm worried about succeeding and passing. If possible i'd definitly like a college degree but at this point i see myself in your situation in a year or 2 cause despite my best effort i'm very lazy. what advice would you have to me on how to avoid any mistakes you've made (not to insult your decisions at all).

    as to advice to you. you don't seem enthusiastic about what you were studying in college. If you were going to college purely because you think its the only way to succeed and to make your parents happy i think you should reevaluate why you make your life decisions. as for your life, it is far from over. you just need to think of a plan. find something that will make you happy. if you enjoy music as most stoners do then get a job at a record store, or as a bar tender or a car mechanic if you enjoy that. its a start. you need to think about what you're going to do. College is not the only way to get your life started. your 20, at average estimate you have 3/4 of your life left if not more. work toward building a life you will be content with later. tonight grab some bud and go somewhere you can think, bring a friend your completely comfortable with if you have one, or go alone and just think about what you want to do now. Your life's not over its just beginning as cheesy as that sounds. you just need to decide what you want to do, college is not the only oppurtunity. its hard for me as a senior in high school to tell you what to do but this is the same issue i struggled with in deciding whether or not to go to college next year.
     
  8. Thanks for all the advice guys,theres no place like the city. This whole school year has been one big haze, damn I can't even recall what happened last week. Harvey, all I can say is stay on top of your work, and dont get in a bad cycle. My average weekday goes like this. Wake up around 2pm, usually feeling shitty from whatever I did the night before. About 15 min after I get up, I smoke about 5-6 one hitters, or whatever it take for me to get high from my room. Take a shower high, then come back, maybe do a bit of coke, then possibly consider going to class, but probably not. Come 6pm, I usually to smoke a blunt with my boys, then we get beer. Tend to drink a 6 pack a night during the weekdays, as I limit myself a bit (and funds are tight). By 1am, after much more smoking from my one hitter and putting down brews, im nicely fucked up. Pass out around 3am, then repeat. Weekends are much more crazy, but whatever. It feels like I wasted this year though, and fucked up my career choices, like now I'm going to be working at the grocery store on $8 an hour for the rest of my life, instead of going on with my friends to graduate and eventually have a career. I know its not the end of my life, but it doesn't seem like things will get much better then they are now.
     
  9. Plumbers charge like $300/hr around here. So there are plenty of non-university degree jobs out there that can make a lot of money. In fact I know a guy who went to ITT Tech type 2-year school, barely passed pre-calculus, and came out of it with a $60K/year IT job. So there's options out there.
     
  10. lol Joint its exactly the same here in London, plumbing is one of the best paid jobs around here, its bloody weird man.
     

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