prinC's Guide to Not Getting Caught

Hi, I'm new to the forum. I thought I would share this short guide I wrote with some tips on how to not get caught smoking, for those who this is a problem for. I hope you find it helpful.


I. Prelude

A. This guide is intended to help smokers who live with people who disapprove of their use keep their smoking concealed and prevent being caught. For most people, this would be a parent or parents, so I will be operating under this presumption throughout the guide, but keep in mind that most of this information could apply to other situations with different relations, such as a girlfriend, spouse, roommate, etc.

II. Hiding

A. In Your House
1. One of the first problems that most new smokers encounter is where to hide their stuff. There are several factors that one should consider when choosing a hiding spot. The first is how suspicious your parents are. It should be noted that before most people are caught by their parents for the first time, they are unaware of their suspicion. Parents are generally smarter than their kids give them credit for in that respect, so while this is not always applicable, most of the time it is the case and should not be overlooked. If your parents are more suspicious and likely to search your room, obviously you need a more secure hiding spot. The second dominant factor is the smell. This is dependent on how smelly of weed you buy, as well as how much you buy at a time. Jars are absolutely necessary for over an eighth to quarter of high-quality bud, but I generally use one all of the time as it is simply not worth the risk.
2. So, if your parents are not very suspicious, you can just toss your bud in a jar and put it pretty much anywhere out of sight and where your parents will not be looking for any other reason. However, if your parents are likely to search through your stuff, you need to put it somewhere where they will not look. This should also be someplace that is fairly easy to access, because it can be a pain to spend 5 minutes just to get your stuff out of wherever it is. I have found the best places to be any electronics (old printers, hard drives etc.) that you can take apart and put stuff inside, as well as in books (Google how to hollow a book).

B. On Your Person; Into & Out of Your House
1. If your parents might search a bag you bring out of the house and/or your pockets, you have several options. The first is to hide things on your person. The two main places that people use for this are the crotch and shoes. Looser clothes are better at concealing these things, and hidden pockets are a plus too. Obviously, the main limitation of this method is space. This would not work with something like a bong.
2. The second option is to get the item(s) out of your house through a means other than on your person. This usually means getting them outside somehow, such as through a window, and then picking it up after you go outside. The problem with this is that your parents cannot see you, so if you are going somewhere with them this is out of the question.
3. The third option is to temporarily or permanently store your item(s) out of your house, such as in your car, a secure spot near your house, or any other concealed hiding place.


III. Smoking

A. Out of Your House
1. There are tons of places to smoke weed, and depending on where you live you may require more or less concealment from people around you. If you live somewhere like California or Colorado where medical marijuana is widely used, you might be able to get away with public smoking, depending on your age. However, if you don’t, it’s still pretty easy to find a good spot. Any forests are good, and parks that are not often frequented can work if you are using a chillum, joint, or something else that is small in size and easy to conceal should you come into contact with anyone.
2. Spliffs are also great when it comes to smoking weed in a concealed way. A spliff is a cigarette with the tobacco taken out, and then re-packed with weed (and often with some of the tobacco mixed in as well, but this is optional). The filter in a cigarette may filter out some THC, and I’ve heard some people say that they notice it and some say they don’t. Personally, I don’t feel any difference, but it’s up to you. Pre-roll one of these and you can smoke pretty much anywhere outside.

B. In Your House
1. One option is to smoke and blow all of the smoke out of a window, but this can leave a little bit of a smell behind and I would certainly advise against doing this while anyone who disapproves of your smoking is also home. Additionally, if one of these people were to come home in the middle of this, they could see smoke coming out of the window and be tipped off as to what is going on.
2. If you don’t know what a sploof is, that will be explained in this paragraph and hopefully you will realize the incredible amount of opportunities that it unleashes. A sploof is made by taking a used-up toilet-paper roll (with no toilet paper left on it) and then securing a dryer sheet over one end with a rubber band. Then the roll is stuffed with other dryer sheets from the other end until it fills up (I recommend packing them down and using 5 or 6 sheets on the inside). When you smoke, you can blow the smoke through this device from the open end and when it comes out, it smells fresh and not smoky at all.
3. This makes smoking incredibly easy, and as the smell is no longer a concern if other people are home, the only problems are if someone actually walks in on you and sees you smoking, or the sound of a lighter could be heard a room or two over. I have found that a shower is an excellent time and place to sploof; you can just go into the bathroom and run the shower, this will cover up the noise of the lighter and prevent anyone from coming into the bathroom.
a) You just have to remember to actually get in the shower at least for a little bit because people might become suspicious if the shower is running for 20 minutes and you then come out completely dry.


IV. Behavior/Attitude

This is a section which absolutely should not be overlooked. Your behavior and attitude, both while sober and under the influence, plays a huge role in the suspicion of your parents.

A. While Under the Influence
1. It is important that you do not act high around your parents as this is an easy way to arouse suspicion, but you can learn to compose yourself by building up from small amounts to the normal amount that you would smoke.
2. Eyedrops are generally a must-have, and chewing gum or eating something will make your breath not smell at all. Generally the smell is fine after 10 or 15 minutes, but it also depends on how small of a space you are in, and joints and blunts tend to make the smell linger longer on your person.

B. In General
1. Even when you’re not high, the choices that you make affect your parents perception of you. If you go from being a very motivated student, worker, etc. to lazy and not doing anything, they will most likely be suspicious of you smoking weed. Your choices are totally yours and I’m not telling you what is right or wrong, but simply keep this fact in mind.



I gladly welcome any suggested additions, constructive criticisms, or other questions or comments that you may have.

Thanks for taking the time to read my guide and happy toking!

 

For me, my parents used to sometimes search me if they had found stuff or I'd been caught for some other reason recently. also i fucking love your name