1.Q. How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? A.Wave. 2. You ever hear the one about the pothead that studied for five days for a urine test? 3.Q. What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A. Mr. President. 4.Q. How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? A. None. Alligators can't fly. 5. Q: What's the point of a weed wacker? A: Weed wackers need to wack it too! 6. Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt? A: A pot hole! 7. Q: What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill? A: A trip without the kids! 8. Q. Why'd the blonde snort nutri-sweet??? A.\t'Cause she thought it was DIET COKE. 9. Q: How did the pothead burn his ear? A: He answered the phone while ironing his clothes. 10. Q: How did the pothead burn his other Ear ? A: They called back. 11. Q. How many hippies does it take to roll a joint? A. Two, cause one's never enough! 12. Q. How many greedy stoners does it take to smoke a joint? A. Uh, what joint?
lol great ones, especially the ear/phone/iron thing i got another one (and this is a true story)... how did the stoner burn his chest hair... he told us at the bar that he was going to bathe in the red lights... so he went to the lightsdesk, turned on about 12KW of red lights, went to stage and put up two (big)tables to lie on so that he was just about 2 meters from the lamps... and lit a blunt and fell asleep. we smelled something burning, so we raced for the stage, seeing a flame from his shirt as lying there sleeping. literally lit by the lamps! we got the fire-extinguisher, and put it out, at the same time waking him up. baffled and out of his mind "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!" hahahaha. he's since known as the fakire
HE HE HE. How many newfies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3, One to hold the bulband 2 to turn the chair he's standing on!HE HE HE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt? A: A pot hole! thats sooooo happend to me!