I've noticed a few people (including myself) trying to post poems in this section without much feedback so here's a thread to post your poems and give each other some critique!
A shadow remains, A shadow regains, A shadow retains, Incandescent flame forever burns Something quick I just came up with
I like it! I love short poems Here's a short one I wrote a while ago... It takes a hand to know a hand with wrinkles soft and colour bland and fingernails to know the pain of being cut and grown again
Stalled on the starting screen, I wanna turn this game off soon, Reality doesen't wanna expose the truth, but I know the dark side of the moon. You dont have to lie, you dont have to pretend, just tell me the truth, so I can put my mind to an end.
through the bullet and blood the dust and mud my brothers were always with me. while the artillary would shell we watched how close they fell up..run! run! through this hell halt contact front! 1 FSG shoot that cunt! with the warm lebanon breeze my finger began to squeeze pop pop pop went the GPMG let up so i could see through the cavity blocks rounds went through and though were i rained in my 7.62 with silence up moved the section to peer in at the bloody man with the dark complextion. still up were my sights as we cleared the space i still see the look on the fallen mans face. thats the story i remember still of the day i got my very first kill
Its fairly long. Vietnam Vet: The Life Oh the days I have seen, velvet skies swelling with peasants' screams. Bodies amass filled the press release. A single monk, quenched with fire preaching peace. Oh the men I have met, in the jungle buried with sweat. Friends I had during the war, All of them dead resting beneath the floor. Oh the battles I have fought, decrepit images infect my thoughts. Can't say what I have seen. Memories infested with darker beings. Oh the protests I have viewed, how can these people be so skewed? I'm fighting for the freedom of a fellow man, if you don't agree, contemplate leaving this land. Oh the family I possessed, somewhere deep in the northwest. Drug problems forced me to leave. Paul and Jessica look confused as I stepped out yet, the message couldn't be misperceived. Oh the things thrashed upon me, I'd be better of remaining deep beneath the sea. Yet society awaited, threats and beatings left me morally deflated, binging, pupils dilated. Oh the corners I've installed, cardboard sign, dirty names being called. Couple dollars here, couple there Enough to get a fix or bottle, I swear. Oh the miles I have collected, hears to the gifts I have accepted. Now I rest on this free land, eyes half closed and what is left of a man.
cross the border came the order onwards we went with dread all wishing we were still in bed in time up went a flare down we all went without even a stare with shout came frago and off th section flanked left just two now we crawl on the ground into natural cleft ovr our heads zip zip went the tracers followed by a bang up went my weapon with it's own tune it sang all night through this slaughter we wished we brang more water fire and manouver is all we could do untill dawn came turning the sky blue fighting were all ranks only resting when in rolled the tanks
FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ON ALL Sunlight streams through window and onto a spot on the floor...then I remember,it's where you used to lie,but now you are no more. Our feet walk down a hall of wood and muted echoes sound....then I remember,It's where your paws would joyously abound A voice is heard along the road,and up your ears would go then you're voice then I remember it can't be yours....your golden voice is still. But I'll take that vacant spot of floorand empty muted hall and lay them with the absent voice and unused dish along the wall I'll wrap these treasured memorials in a blanket of my love and keep them for my best friend until we meet above. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Before, my heart lay on the dust covered shelf, Despondent and cold . . . growing harder each day. Before, my eyes saw only the hurt in people's faces, Wanting everyone to feel the pain that I did. Before, my body was stiff, not responding to even a gentle touch, Afraid to let anyone too close. Before, my mind would not let thoughts of love enter, Guarding my heart with grief and fear. Before, my nights only brought darkness, Like a black veil falling to cover my wounds. Before, my life held only emptiness and contempt, Anger guiding me through days of hell. But on the day I found you, A brilliant light shone down on me As you breathed new life into me And renewed my will for living. And now my heart almost bursts with a joy I have never felt before. my eyes are filled with a love So strong it consumes all my other thoughts. because of you my body is strong and yet so soft, As I respond to your ever gentle touch.
you guys are talented! i just had so much enjoyment reading those poems, please post more. i feel like i jsut got half way through a book and it ended.. :l finish it please!
this really isnt much, my old computer died and i have yet to extract the data from it, im down at least 40 poems XD this is something i wrote in my english course What makes a writer a good writer? Its not fancy scholarships or pHd’s Is it alcoholism or insanity? What makes the cut in the school textbooks? Is it racy? Or a classic? What then, makes a classic. Reading is a paradox.
wrote this today, idk where my head was at XP Little boy I must profess I get this aching in my chest don’t think its time to grow up For you. Little child you walk your quest But I wish you would just retrogress Stay three or four, the pain isn’t worth it I’d say Oh please my sons and daughters Don’t go away Ill miss you beyond would could ever say. Ill beg and offer gifts like The pitiful man I am But I want you by my side so Ill do what I can. The world is so terrible Turns good thoughts valueless Pray child heed me on this I don’t think you’ll ever be as care free As now.
a vail falls a rifle raises into a shoulder she cries out goes the bang of a salute up goes her cries down goes a shell casing up come her memories down goes an empty coffin
Ive done my piece is this stupid world Ive wrought my plot for all it had But the man above me wants more And the one above him wants twice that Ive fought for the bread I eat The piece I get The week of food Ive battled for the ale I drink A sip a day A glass a week Ive worked my hands until they bled I wrapped them up and back I went But my plow has long been broken My ox dying of plague A break I ask would be suffice A day or two Ill take less To quell the urges that surround My weighted mind My tethered soul I don't want death, pity me not Just a break, a chance for thought ‘Cause who has time to self reflect If you don't even have time for mirrors anymore.
by the way guys.......you're words...what can i say?....thought provoking and poignant keep'em coming
warrior song This is where we make our stand Finally gather the confidence We’ve been oppressed for far too long This is our warrior song Ba da oh, da oh Ba do oh, dead on. Its time to rip out their souls Cut flesh and make bullet holes We aren’t taking prisoners But damn, we like listeners Listening to Ba da oh, da oh Ba do oh, dead on. Broadcast this shit, every channel Reverb, run the control panel We’re bout to light this fucker up HAHA. Just his luck. Singing Ba do oh, da oh Ba do oh, dead on. Sights; on their hearts Lets take these guys apart I’m ready to do the trigger pull Our patience is far past full Yelling Ba do oh, da oh Ba do oh, dead on. Someones going down tonight They can’t put up much of a fight We trumped the oppressor Now we’re his successors Made a friendly meet with him It was just a talk Snipers shot him the fuck down Politely as we walked It sure was a dirty trick But it seemed to do the trick. And now that we are free.. Well. Uh. Now what? edit: im over posting aren't i, sorry guys
Wow, this is so great, definitely worth reading the whole thing! All of your poetry is so descriptive and personal, I really enjoy reading it you should post more, I'm going to post more of mine, too.
Amazing, i love it! I've got one. Guess what its about I breathe you. I take all of you in. And as soon as I do the transformation begins. You caress my insides, Alter my state of mind. You lift my body into the air and... Rearrange me. The fear that once plagued me and blurried my path Dissipates as a river of confidence flows through my veins. Your version of me is... Amazing, Blissful, Taboo. I feel rain drops explode as they crash into my skin. My eyes disect the droplets and identify the elements that embody it. If I am caught you, Inside me, My freedom will be stolen and I will be forced to live without you. But still I risk it. For the idea of losing you, Living, thinking, breathing without you... Inside me, Would bring my wonderful world crashing down on top of me. Cam