I can't even remember the last time I had silence in my head. Always calculating every little thing. I'm not scared, but very aware of everything going on around me. I watch my corners and ass as I walk through parking lots into everywhere I visit. I sleep on the couch so I can hear if anyone is breaking in. I feel like every day is becoming a fucking set up. I'm sketched out by everyone who approaches me and immediately don't trust them prevent new relationships from ever being made. I'm always crying in my mind, but never on the outside. Flashbacks of the mistakes I have made make me want to bash my head against the wall. I just want peace