I haven't written in years, so my guess is that this stuff is no good. Thought I'd find out if we can confirm that. Searching For The Gate The sun came out today, a storm formed in my mind Warm radiation on my skin, cold wind against my heart Standing at the wall, searching for the gate Slowly, slowly giving up, giving in The sun came out today, a shadow across my face Humid warmth collected within my truck's cab Blast of air conditioning to my coursing veins Slowly, slowly losing warmth, losing hope The sun came out today, dim in the black sky Far off light on a cold deep winter's day Surprised, I behold for the first time in weeks Slowly, slowly finding hope, finding steel The sun came out today, glorious blue skies Another dawn of my life's ages fades in The heart's memories of the last age fade away Slowly, slowly... Recovering. Season of Death I was wrong I have more lives than life is long Standing in the twilight, the voice I heard Telling of the end, instead of demanding strength So absurd Now in the season of death, year's third I happen upon that strength, it is despair that dies I was wrong.
I'm not in any way capable of critiquing poems beyond I like it, it amazing, and wow that was shit. I'm just not very constructive with my feedback. But having said that I did really like them. I'm jealous of people who can write in prose as my brain likes to force me to rhyme. Its not that I physically can't rhyme but rather I never feel its poetry if it doesn't. I know this is a very very misguided and conditioned view. But if you wanna see something that isn't completely full of AA BBBB AA ABA rhyme structure haha let me know