Poem for Mary

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by ciscokid420, Jun 7, 2009.

  1. I wrote this poem to show my love for Marijuana. Be brutal with your comments, I would like to hear what people actually think, I will not be offended at all.

    Miss Jane

    She brings me joy every time we meet,
    just as an eloped pair,
    our love cannot be beat.
    As the heat falls upon her bright orange hair,
    she takes me right off my feet.
    Never did I think I would find a love so rare.
    As I press my lips against her it is oh so sweet.
    She glistens in the light as I treat her with care.
    Our love will not soon see defeat,
    for my sweet love takes me places I would not dare.
    She made me the person everyone wants to meet.
    Not like the others my heart she will not tare.
     
  2. your rhymes seem a little bit forced for such a simple rhyme scheme, IMO, but not bad for what it is. keep it up dude
     
  3. Thanks. I also felt some of the rhymes were forced, but it was just an on the spot kinda thing.

    And yes, the word tare in the last sentence is a play on words, not a typo. If anyone was wondering
     

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